This Is Who We Are
by Cassiroll
Summary: In two years a lot can change..especially people. The whole galaxy believes that Shepard is dead, but only Cerberus knows the truth. Can he convince his friends that he is the same person...can he convince himself. One girl helps him realize who he is and well...they fall in love along the way. Art work is from QuarianGypsy at Deviantart btw :)
1. Ghost Of You

I have read so many wonderful fanfictions! I feel bad for just reading and not contributing anything back to this wonderful community of writers, so this is my first fanfic! If you happen to enjoy it and follow it please be patient with me on updates! I am currently going through a death in the family. I also am a full time student and work part time. SO! I promise to do my best with updates! Please don't be too harsh on feedback. I will do my best to stick story line and character behavior, BUT this is my little fantasy of how it shoulda been So I hope you all enjoy!

She opened her eyes and was surrounded by nothing but white. Not in the, I am dead and white sort of way. No, everything was white, white walls and floor. She walked down the long hallway and wound up at a door. She slowly placed her hand on the sensor and the door opened into a large field.

"Keelah" she whispered. She made her way in the large, lush green field. She reached to pluck a flower and saw her bare skin. Taken a back she quickly examined herself and noticed she was wearing a human style dress instead of her suite. But for some reason she was not alarmed by it. She brought the flower to her face and embraced its sweet scent. She closed her eyes and savored the moment, the sweet smell of the flower, and the cool breeze on her bare skin. She stretched her arms out and began skipping through the field of flowers. As the wind brushed against her skin she could of sworn it was whispering her name.

"Tali…" She stopped dead in her tracks at the sound of his voice. She slowly turned around to find Shepard standing before her.

"Sh..Shepard.." she replied barely above a whisper.

He stepped forward slowly until they were a few inches apart. Her fear and shock got the better of her and she slowly stepped back to create more space.

"You're dead! I..I saw you die!" She stammered

He smiled, but not his normal smile. It was small and sad.

"I need you to do something for me Tali." He said as the smile disappeared from his face.

"Bu..but" she began stammering again but he held up a hand.

"I need you to be strong. I need you to keep going and hold on for me okay?" he looked at her pleadingly.

She was having trouble understanding this.

"Shepard..I…we need you!" she choked out as tears began running down her face. She stepped forward and into his embrace. His warm embrace.

"It's going to be okay Tali. Just wake up…" He said while pulling away from her.

"Wh..Shepard wait!" She tried reaching for him but her hand went through him. She pulled it back and looked at him in shock. He looked at her one more time before turning his back and walking away.

"Shepard! Don't leave me! Shepard!" She shouted before giving up and running after him. He stopped and turned around to face the quarian women in front of him. He smiled warmly at her.

"I'll be back Tali." He leaned in and kissed her forehead and began walking backwards. He kept walking until he slowly faded away.

She fell to her knees and began sobbing uncontrollably.

"Tali…Tali…Tali!" Her eyes shot open to find the familiar visor of her auntie Raan.

"Are you alright child?" Her voice laced with concern.

"Yes…I'm fine..just a strange dream." She paused while she sat up.

"I saw Shepard in my dream.." She finished weakly and slowly.

Her aunt leaned in and wrapped her arms around her young niece.

"I'm sorry child." She said sympathetically.

Tali said nothing and just looked down at her knees. Her aunt took the message and left her to be alone with her thought and to reflect.


	2. Reinventing Your Exit

Thank you for the follows! I am happy people are enjoying it so far! Just as a sidenote. This is my version/fantasy of Mass Effect. The story line will be different and dialogue will be different. But I will follow the gist/basics of the story. If you want the same story line play the game lol XD Anywho! Don't own the rights blah blah it's Bioware with my twist. I hope you enjoy

This is what hell was like. He knew he had done a lot of bad things in his life, but he never considered himself to be evil, not even a bad guy really. I guess this is what you get when you kill people. He was reliving one of the worst days in his life, Akuze. He was in his own body, but he had no control over it. It was just like watching a movie, but from the main characters point of view. He remembered this point if view very well and he would never forget it because it was his own. All the times he had played it out in his head, and done things differently were in vain because of it.

He ran through the camp which was erupting in to chaos from the attack. There was no order and his commanding officers were nowhere to be found. He had to do something and he had to do it quickly. As he ran through the camp he planned to gather as many able soldiers and weapons and possible to try and form so sort of organized attack. Sadly luck wasn't on his side, he wasn't able to find as many people as he would have liked. It was down to him and four other marines, one of the four being Corporal Toombs.

"What are we going to do Shepard?" Toombs asked not even bothering to hide the fear in his voice.

"We need to do something. We can't just stay here, we'll be sitting ducks". Shepard replied while pulling clips from an ammunition crate.

"Do you think we should try and run?" One of the smaller marines asked.

"Are you nuts?" Toombs asked before Shepard could speak.

"We wouldn't make it a hundred yards!" Another marine added on.

Shepard sighed and shook his head.

"Then what do you suggest we do?" The smaller marine asked slowly.

"The only thing we know how to do. The only thing we know how to do. We fight. Our chances look pretty bleak no matter what we do. This way we have a small chance, and if anything we can die trying. It's better than dying while running or hiding." Shepard stated with finality.

The marines said nothing for a minute. They all looked at each other and nodded as if to agree with him. They all readied their weapons in the time between attacks.

"Are you guys all ready?" Shepard asked the men before him.

They all gave grunts and nods.

"It has been an honor serving with you all; now let's go kick some thresher maw ass! OORAH!" Shepard exclaimed while saluting his men.

"OORAH!" they all shouted in unison while returning his salute.

They left ruins of the camp and made their way to a slightly higher vantage point. Shepard gave the men a hand signal to wait while he scooped out the hill to make sure it was safe. The men crouched down and watched Shepard intently. They all turned to each other when the ground beneath them began to shake and cave in. They were above a maw that was digging up, the smaller marine and the man to his right were not quick enough in moving out of the way and fell through the parting sand in to the abyss of the maw's hole.

The angry maw came out of the hole screeching. It scanned its surroundings and locked on to its targets. Toomb began firing away while the marine beside him froze in fear. They both knew that this was the end for them.

Shepard saw what was happening and could do nothing about it. Like hell he couldn't! He charged down the hill at a full sprint and pulled out the long knife from his thigh. With all the strength he could summon launched himself off of the ground, he lifted the knife above his head and slammed it down into the maw. It barely seemed to notice, it raised itself farther out of the whole and flipped Shepard off of it. He hit the ground hard. He tried gasping for air but the impact knocked the wind out of him. Before he could even move the maw had him in its sights. It screeched out one last cry, (Shepard swore it was a cry of victory) before it came down at and grabbed Shepard in its mouth. It tossed him in to the air before catching him again and letting him slide down its throat. Everything around Shepard turned black.

He had to do something and fast. He reached down into the boot opposite where he pulled out the large knife and pulled out a smaller one.

"This will have to do" he said to no one.

He tried moving forward until he bumped in to something. He had no idea what it could be and he didn't care, he started slashing away. He felt hot liquid coming from what he was slashing. It was bleeding! Or at least he thought. The maw screamed in agony and began thrashing away. Shepard smiled to himself because it was working! He began strategizing on how to do this. He began cutting again and tried to cut in chunks so he could get out of the damned thing. But it was no easy feat considering the size of the beast and the fact that it was pretty pissed and kept thrashing around.

After a while of doing this maw started hacking up blood and convulsing…then no movements at all. He reached out and touched where he was cutting and tried to compare it to where he hadn't been cutting. This was going to take a while. He had no idea about how much time had passed but he was getting tired and angry. He stabbed harder and felt it give; he had breached its outermost layer of skin. He started hacking away even faster until he saw light. He finally had a decent sized opening. He put his hands on the opening and pulled with all the strength he had left and it gave way and tore in to a bigger hole. Shepard squeezed his way out and hit the ground with a thump. He could not believe he had just done that. He stayed on the ground and stared up at the sky. He heard the familiar hum of an incoming shuttle. He shot to his feet and searched the sky for it. He saw it float across the sky and landed about a hundred yards from the base. He slowly made his way to it. After his first step he felt shots of pain all over his body. He didn't realize how much damage the maws stomach had done to him. He had burns all over his body and large puncture marks on his chest from where it bit him. He took a deep breath and slowly made his way to the shuttle

"Is anyone here? I really could use some help!" He called out

His vision began to blur and the world started to spin. Everything began fading out until there was darkness.


	3. My Apocalpyse

Hey all! Sorry if the story is going kind of slow, I promise it is going to pick up the pace really soon! If you have any questions about this chapter, parts of it will come up later in a conversation. By the way Shepard's dad and sister, Athena lived on Mindior. His mother Hannah is a spacer and captain Thought it was a different twist. I hope you enjoy lovelies!

Something was off…he felt pain. Were you supposed to feel pain when you were dead? Maybe people in hell did. He could hear the hum of machines and faint whisper of voices. He slowly opened his eyes to a white light and white room. The voices and sounds around were gradually growing louder and louder. He couldn't pick up on what they were saying though. He heard a woman and she didn't sound too happy. Despite protest from his body he tried to sit up, but was gently pushed back down. He looked to see who was keeping him down and looked up in to the blue eyes of a raven haired woman.

"Shepard I need you to relax, everything is going to be alright" The voice assured him.

She barked an order to someone behind her. He couldn't fight or resist even if he wanted to. Everything began to feel heavy, and once again fade away to black.

He opened his eyes to a strange place. He was on his back staring up at a dark sky covered by trees. He stood up and tried to take in his surroundings. He made his way through the trees to a large garden. Ordinarily it would have been a beautiful place but something about it was wrong. It was dark and surrounded by smoke. He slowly made his way to the center of the garden and saw a man standing there. He stopped dead in his tracks.

"Victor…" The man said while turning around.

Shepard remained silent and continued staring.

"You're not supposed to be here yet; you have work to do my boy." The man said with a smile.

Shepard clenched his fists. "You lost the right to call me that years ago." He said before clenching his jaw.

"Awww, still that little angry boy I see. Your mother obviously failed you there." He said with a chuckle.

Shepard swung at the man's jaw, but his hand went straight through.

The man looked at him and laughed.

"You're such a fool son." He said with a small smile on his lips.

Victor stared at his father. "I'm the fool? I died to protect the people I love, for the whole damn galaxy! What did you do? You drank everything away, you pushed mom away whenever she was home on shore leave!" He shot back. He paused before going on.

"You took everything out Athena when I wasn't around. You broke all of our hearts and tore the family apart!" He shouted at his father.

"You watched her die! You watched me die! You watched everyone there die and did nothing to stop it!" He hissed back to his son.

"I..I couldn't do anything!" he said while looking down at his feet.

"Like I said son, you're such a fool. But this conversation is irrelevant. It's not your time yet son. You need to go back." He said with a small smile creeping across his face.

"What are you talking about? I'm dead! How am I supposed to get back?" He questioned.

"It's easy. All you need to do is close your eyes, and when you wake up, you'll be back." He said while stepping backwards.

"How does that make sense? How does this even work?" He questioned his father

"Is this even real?" He shouted to him.

"You're over thinking it Victor. Don't over think things so much, sometimes you just have to go with your gut." He answered before finally fading away.

Shepard stood there in the smoking garden, staring at where his father was. Emotions and memories he had long buried began to surface from the darkest place within him. The sky around him darker, and the forest erupted in to flames. The voices and screams from those he watched die, from those he killed, for those deaths he was responsible for began to surround him.

"It's allyour fault! You did this! You watched me die!" the voices whispered.

"I'm sorry! I've made mistakes, and done all I could. Sometimes I did what I thought was right, but I have always done all I could!" He shouted at the top of his lungs. The voices around him grew louder and louder. He ran in to the smoky forest to try and escape. He ran as fast and as hard as he could. The ground beneath him began to shake; he lost his balance and fell onto his back. He couldn't stand the pain inside any more. He closed his eyes and willed it all away. He closed his eyes and the voices spoke faster and faster until they all clustered into a massive scream. His eyes shot open and he was staring up to the oddly familiar white ceiling.


	4. Second Chance

Hey guys! Sorry it has taken so long for this, I have been really busy lately. I want to give my reasoning/explanation for part of the story. As the surgery/rebuild progresses that's when I think Shepard's brain functions start becoming stronger, hence the dreams. I hope you guys enjoy :D Follows, reviews, and pms are always welcomed and appreciated! Sorry if it is too lengthy.

His eyes shot open. He was staring at the eerily familiar white room. He blinked a few times to make the room fully come in to focus.

"….Commander."

He recognized that voice from his other dream.

"Shepard do you hear me? You need to get out of that bed right now!" The female voice commanded.

He tried sitting up, and immediately wished he hadn't. His head was throbbing and his muscles ached. It felt like he had been tackled by Wrex.

"Shepard your scars aren't healed yet, but I need you to get moving!" The voice again commanded.

He swung his legs over the bed and began looking for some sort of weapon that he could use to defend himself with. He had a million thoughts and questions racing through his head. Part of him wanted to panic and demand what was going on. But another part was just too tired too, and it's not like it mattered anyways he was dead after all. This must be another layer or level of hell he had to fight with. Even in death he could not find peace… then again this was hell. He had done something…or some things in life to end up here.

"Grab the pistol from the locker" The voice interrupted his thoughts.

He sighed inwardly and grabbed the armor and the pistol from the locker

"There's no thermal clip in this." He called out to the female voice.

"It's a med bay! Of course there…..Damnit! Someone is trying to hack in to system! Shepard stay in cover and don't do anything stupid, you're not fully healed yet" The woman barked.

Shepard snorted at the woman. He heard noise from outside the door and dove behind the crates as the door blew open, sending shards of twisted metal flying through the air. He carefully poked his head out of cover and didn't see anything. He hopped over the crate and scanned the hall from the doorway. Something familiar caught his eye, a thermal clip. He smiled as he bent down to pick it up, finally something he knew about.

"Shepard you need to get to the shuttle bay. I….." The voice cut out and was replaced by gun fire and then silence.

"Shit" He swore to himself.

He had to keep moving. He made his way through the strange place and destroyed all of the mecs standing in his way. He finally made his way to a more open room where he spotted a man taking down mecs. He went up and took cover next to the man

"Shepard!? What are you doing here?!" The man exclaimed.

He stared at him for a few seconds not saying anything. How does he know my name?! What the hell if going on?

"I don't know I just woke up" He finally replied.

"Sorry I forgot that this all new to you. I'm Jacob Taylor." He replied with a small smile.

They heard more mecs; Jacob stood from cover and used his biotics to take out the group that was approaching.

"Impressive." Shepard remarked

"Thanks. Come one we need to get you to the shuttle bay." Jacob said while extending a hand out to Shepard. Shepard took his hand and was on his feet.

"What's going on? What is this place?" Shepard asked after a few moments of silence.

"I'll tell you what; I will answer any questions you have when we reach the bay." Jacob offered.

"Fair enough" Shepard replied.

The two made their way through the base and took down all mecs in sight. Along the way the found a man named Wilson. Something about the man didn't add up. How did he manage to survive when no one else seemed able to? The man was clearly not a trained fighter. He seemed nervous and would not look him in the eyes.

The three men were finally outside of the shuttle bay door.

"Come on! We are almost to the shuttles!" Wilson exclaimed. Something wasn't making sense and didn't feel right. The door swished open.

"Miranda? I thought you were.." BANG! Wilson slumped to the floor. His chest was now scarlet red.

"Dead?" Miranda finished with a smile on her face.

"What the fuck Miranda?" Jacob questioned her angrily.

"Wilson was the traitor." She replied simply.

"I knew something about him was off." Shepard added. It was good to know his instincts were still dead on.

"Now what?" Shepard asked.

"Now we leave, let's go" Miranda replied sharply.

He could already tell that they were going to butt heads and have problems if they were going to be around each other for long.

The three entered the shuttle. Miranda punched in a few commands and the shuttle sprung to life. She switched it over to auto pilot and made her way to the back of the shuttle and joined the two men.

"Ok, can you please tell me what the hell is going on right now?" Shepard said to the two in front of him.

"You didn't tell him Jacob? I'm surprised your conscience didn't get the best of you." Miranda said, obviously baiting the man.

He was obviously annoyed.

"I promised him I would explain when were arrived at the shuttle. It didn't seem wise to distract the commander in the middle of a battle Miranda." Jacob snapped back.

Miranda's eyes narrowed.

"We need to run some tests Shepard to check your memory" She continued on as if not bothered by what he had said.

"Come on Miranda more tests? Don't you think the commander deserves a break?" Jacob tried pleading with her.

She snorted and shot back, "He has had two years to rest!"

"Fine, don't you think he at least deserves some answers then?" Jacob asked. His patience was running out.

"Wait what?" Shepard questioned while standing.

"TWO YEARS?!" He shouted.

Miranda and Jacob exchanged looks.

"Do you remember the attack on the Normandy?

Shepard closed his eyes. He thought back to that horrible day. Some unidentified ship attacked and destroyed.

"I tried to get everyone off the ship and to safety. I went back to get Joker and before I could get in to the pod, the ship attacked again…and I was spaced." Shepard answered quietly.

"We got ahold of your body, and have spent the past two years rebuilding you." Jacob told the commander.

"Who is we?" Shepard asked.

Before thinking Jacob answered "Cerberus."

Tension filled the small shuttle. Shepard felt like this was worse than hell, worse than any nightmare he had experienced. He was with the organization he hated the most. His thoughts were interrupted by Miranda.

"Our boss spent billions of credits and poured vast amounts of resources in to bringing you back Commander. You are very valuable Shepard. We need your help with an assignment; it is an offer that you won't be able to refuse. I know you don't care for our organization but at least hear him out." Miranda looked at him after her small rant to gauge his reaction.

Shepard sighed and looked at the women. She seemed honest enough. He looked at Jacob, he seemed like a nice guy and reasonable.

"Alright. I don't like this but I will hear him out." Shepard replied.

Miranda looked down and smiled to herself.

"Now, let's continue with these tests" She stated flatly. Back to the coldness.

"Records show you were raised on Mindoir. You're father and sister were both killed the day of the raid, it also shows your mother is captain. You obviously survived the attack and enlisted in the Alliance shortly after. You survived the thresher maw attack on Akuze. Do you remember any of that?" Jacob questioned.

"Yes, I have been relieving it in my dreams before I woke up." Shepard replied not bothering to hide the annoyance in his voice.

The two exchanged a look.

"Moving on." Miranda said

"Kaiden Alenko was killed in action, it was your call. Why did you leave him behind?"

"He was a good soldier, but more importantly a great man. I had to make a tough call that day, but I had to follow my gut. I had to save the most people I could. He dies a hero.." Shepard replied, his face turning cold.

"Alright Miranda I think that's enough" Jacob cut in before Miranda could continue.

"Fine." She replied cooly.

The rest of the ride was silent. They docked to another base and before he knew it Shepard was alone in a comm room, facing The Illusive Man.


	5. Note To Self

Sorry the other chapter was kind of boring : / I wanted to get through the main story so I could get on with my own addition to it But I promise to try and make them more interesting and add some more dialogue in there. I will also try to make the chapters a little longer as well. I really hope you all enjoy!

His head was spinning. Everything he had been told in the last few hours had been overwhelming. He had died..and he knew it. He even remembered it! But they had brought him back to fight the Reapers and save humanity. He wanted for this to be nothing more than a horrible dream, wake up on the original Normandy and go back to what he knew as normal. It was strange having a new crew and ship, but he had gone through this many times before. It would take time to adjust. He sighed and massaged his temple. At least Joker was here, seeing him alive and well killed any form of regret he had for saving the man. He was surprised to find that his team had separated and went off in different directions. Wrex back on Tuchanka, Tali with the Fleet, and Liara on Illium. Then Ashley and Garrus had kind of disappeared off the grid. He really hoped that everyone was happy and well. He especially hoped that Ash was doing well. For the first time since he had woken up he had time to sort everything out. He thought back on his time spent with Ash and smiled. He was really starting to wish things ended on a better note with her.

They were lying in his bed together; it was a few weeks after the battle on the Citadel.

They were wearing standard Alliance clothes, snuggled up watching some action vid. He was mindlessly running his up and down her arm, not paying much attention to the movie. He didn't notice when she started talking to him.

"Wow this movie is so unrealistic! I mean come on! Right Skipper?" She asked while laughing.

"Skipper?" She called to him again.

"Shepard!" She said louder while sitting up.

This snapped him out of his trance. He blinked a few times to regain his focus.

"What now?" He asked her confusedly.

She sighed and got off the bed.

"Sorry Ash, I spaced out there for a minute." He said with a smile. He sat up and stretched. He noticed she was watching him, and she didn't seem too happy.

"What's wrong Ash?" He asked concernedly.

She let a small laugh. "What's wrong? You're seriously asking me this?" She snapped at him.

He was taken aback by her sharp tone. "Ash what's going on?" He asked, keeping his tone soft.

"This!" She said while motioning a hand between the two.

"You always do this! You're here, but your head never is!" She shouted at him.

He winced a little. He was starting to get angry, so he remained silent.

"Whenever we spend time with each other it's seriously like you aren't even there! Do you even want to be with me?" She asked harshly.

He snapped his head up to look at her. He stood up and opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off and kept going.

"When you wake up in the middle of the night from your nightmares, you never even tell me about them. You never open up to me! You never open up to me Shepard! It's like I don't even know you! You don't tell me anything about you! I've told you so much and this has all been one way! What am I supposed to do Shepard?" She was screaming at him by the end.

He didn't respond right away. He just stared at her.

"This is exactly what I mean!" She snapped at him.

"I'll see you later." She sighed and turned to walk out of his cabin.

He grabbed her wrist tightly. She snapped around to look at him.

"Do you think telling you the things you want to know is easy?" He asked softly.

She furrowed her brows and tilted her head up to look at him.

"Do you think it's easy for me to relive the things I've seen? To relive the things that I have done?" He asked her louder this time.

She tried to pull away from his grip, but he tightened it.

"Every damn day it's there! It creeps in on my thoughts! And at night…it haunts me in my dreams…"He finished tiredly.

"I can't let what I've done taint you..it will consume you like it did me." He whispered. He let go of her wrist.

Before she could come up with a response, the whole ship began to shake and the alarms began screeching their warning to all.

Everything happened so fast, it almost is a blur.

He had gotten everyone he could off and was slowly making his way to Joker. He grabbed the man and threw him in to a shuttle. He felt the ship rumble again and slammed his fist to launch the shuttle. He then was spaced….

* * *

Miranda's voice broke him away from the memory. "We're about to land commander, you should gear up". She said softly. She knew his head was elsewhere, and from the look on his face it wasn't pleasant.

He looked at his boots for a few seconds before gathering up his equipment.

The small shuttle rocked as the small team made their way to the human colony to rescue Veetor. This was her first mission where she was in charge. It was nerve racking, but exciting at the same time. She was eager to know what her father thought, but she didn't even get to see him before she left on her mission. He was always so wrapped up in his work, and work with the admiralty boards. She sighed, she knew the thought was selfish, but she just wished that he would pay more attention to her, show her some fatherly affection. She sighed. She knew one person would be proud of her, but he was gone. He had been gone for two years. She started to think about him, but her thoughts were interrupted as the shuttle made a very clumsy landed.

"Note to self, I miss you terribly." She muttered to herself.

"Easy there Praza." She said, but it was more to herself.

The small team gathered their equipment and made their way into the human colony.

This was supposed to be Praza's mission. This was supposed to be HIS mission, he thought to himself bitterly. He was waiting for Tali to screw up so he could jump in and be the hero….maybe even push her in to screwing up. He smiled under his tinted mask.

Something was very wrong. The colony was deserted and dead silent.

"Everyone stay sharp, we don't know what we will find." She warned her team.

They all muttered their agreements.

They walked in a careful formation, being sure to remain in cover just in case, and it proved useful. They checked their cover before rounding the corner and saw a group of mecs in what appeared to be in sleep mode. The team crept around and took them all out before they even had a chance to react. They all made their way into a small, abandoned building and began strategizing

* * *

Shepard and his team of two made their way through the colony. It was like everyone just vanished without a trace….even stranger without a struggle either. Things were left where they were, like everyone got up and left in the middle of dinner.

"I have a really bad feeling about this." Miranda said, breaking the silence.

"That makes two of us." Shepard said dryly.

"Let's get to the bottom of this Shepard, this place is giving me the creeps." Jacob added.

"Ah crap! Someone activated the security mecs!" Shepard exclaimed while ducking in to cover.

"But that doesn't make sense! Why would they be activated if everyone is gone?" Jacob asked.

"They probably activated them during whatever happened to make everyone disappear." Miranda added, not bothering to hide the annoyance in her voice.

"But he has a point. Wouldn't there be some proof of intruders? Wouldn't the mecs have taken someone or something down?" Shepard pointed out.

Miranda furrowed her brows.

"That makes sense. Someone must have activated them after the fact to protect themselves." The woman concluded.

"Come one let's try and find something that will give us answers." Shepard said before moving out.

The two followed along closely behind with weapons drawn and ready. They approached a building. Shepard signaled for them to be quiet. He could have sworn he heard voices inside. His hearing was never this good before, it must have something to do with the cybernetics from the rebuild. He made a mental note to ask Miranda about it later. The two fell in line with him. He counted down.

"One….two…..three!" he yelled before opening the door and rushing in.

* * *

"Tali, my radar is picking up signs of movement outside." One of the quarian soldiers informed.

"Let me see." She replied while checking her own.

"They appear to be Cerberus mam." Praza stated mater of factly.

She glanced at him not paying much attention. "Before we go for Veetor we need to take care of them, so we don't lead them to him." She stated.

She clicked a few commands in her omni tool, trying to find the missing quarians location.

She smiled when she found his location.

"He appears to be in a control room across the way. Clever bosh'tet activated the mecs to protect himself."

Before Praza could respond the door swished in and three armed people charged in the room.

All of the quarians drew their weapons and took aim and the unidentified people.

"Stand down." The quarian ordered her men.

"But they're Cerberus!" Praza hissed, not lowering his weapon.

"Lawson, Taylor out." The man in the center ordered.

"But commander…." The other man began.

"I said out!" he said again, but firmer this time.

The two humans left and stood outside, down the small stair case. She would have been more comfortable if the door was closed, and the human woman wasn't staring at her so coldly. She shivered a little.

Something about him was familiar. The way he stood and the way he observed the room. She couldn't see his face because it was covered by the visor of his helmet.

"Sorry about that. I'm the commander; we are here searching for the cause of the human disappearance in this colony." The man stated.

His voice….his voice sounded exactly like Shepard's.

He had recognized her the second she spoke. He wanted nothing more than to run up and hug the quarian woman, but given the current situation he thought it would be best not too.

She had grown up so much, she even had a new suit. He smiled underneath his helmet, remembering when he had first met her. She was a young girl on her pilgrimage to become a woman.

"Shepard, I'm picking up a reading from the control room…." Miranda trailed off as she entered the room. She felt the tension rise. She shot Shepard a somewhat apologetic look before slowly backing out.

"All of you outside." Tali ordered. No one dared protest.

Shepard looked at his feet.

"Why are they calling you Shepard?! Who are you?!" She demanded.

"Tali it's me…" He said quietly, taking a small step forward.

She took a large step backwards.

"NO! NO NO! I saw him die! And don't you call me that!" She screamed.

He reached for his helmet and pulled it off.

He saw the small quarian begin to shake.

She couldn't believe her eyes. It looked like him, sounded like him, and even acted like him. She was fighting to hold back tears. She wanted to believe it was him, more than anything. But she had been tricked in so many dreams.

He could tell she was struggling with the idea.

He took another small step forward.

"Did the data I gave you on the death help you on your pilgrimage?" He asked gently. He knew that would be the only thing he could do to prove it was him.

She let the tears fall and ran up to him and hugged him as tightly as she could. She quickly pulled away and looked at him.

"Where were you?! How could you let us think you were dead?!" She choked out.

His heart broke. He didn't know his death would cause the woman so much pain.

"Tali I was dead. Cerberus spent two years rebuilding me. I only woke up ….God not even that long ago. Believe me; I would never leave you guys like that." He said quietly. Something about being around her made him want to be gentle. He felt oddly calm around the woman.

"Oh Shepard!" She cried again before hugging him tightly.

He returned the tight hug.

Their moment of being reunited was ruined by the sounds of bickering outside. They both side and made their way outside to snap their crew in to shape.

And there you have it for now


	6. Note To Self Pt2

Sorry it took so long for the update! I have been very busy lately. Just finished midterms at school and I am preparing for a large project in one of my classes. I am grateful for the follows, comments, and feedback I apologize for the confusing format in the last chapter, it was pointed out to me so I went back and fixed it and we won't have that problem again. Anyways I hope you enjoy!

* * *

"Cerberus scum! Have you no remorse for attacking our ships and killing out people?!" Praza questioned Miranda and Jacob angrily.

Miranda just snorted at him. Before she could reply Jacob did. We are not responsible for all of Cerberus." Jacob pleaded with the quarian.

"You're still part of it!" another one of the quarians hissed.

"Look! Get it through your thick bucket heads that-"Miranda snapped in reply, before she was cut off.

"Enough!" Shepard shouted.

"Look! We are here for one reason, to find the reason behind these disappearing colonies." He paused. "We aren't here to hurt you." He added, softening his voice.

All of the quarians except for Tali seemed skeptical, but the tension in the air seemed to lessen.

"We are looking for a young quarian named Veetor, he is here on pilgrimage." Tali said while stepping away from the group of quarians and toward Shepard.

"Why would he come to a human colony?" Shepard questioned.

"He didn't do well in crowds. This is..was a small human colony, so it would seem ideal for him." She said while pulling up her omni tool.

"It sounds like we need to find this _quarian._" Miranda said coolly.

Shepard shot her a look and stiffened.

"We can work together to find him. I can override his locks and we can help you take down the mechs." Tali said before pausing to punch several commands into her omni tool.

"Here." She extended her wrist to Shepard to send him the data on his location.

"Thanks Tali. We can break in to groups to flank the mechs." He said while reviewing a layout of the colony.

He noticed the quarians behind her nodding in agreement to something, but he didn't think too much of it.

They finished with their plan of attack and broke off in to their teams. Shepard and his team were going to try and hit from the front, while Tali and her team would try and hit from the side and back.

Shepard led his team out the door and they started on their way to the control center.

"Can we trust them?" Miranda asked coolly.

"Tali yes, but I don't know about the others. I guess we are just going to have to find out aren't we?" He said with a sigh.

He saw movement up ahead and drew out his rifle. Jacob and Miranda followed suit. They took down the small group of mechs easily. Just as they finished taking them out, Shepard's omni tool sprang to life.

"Shepard! Praza and the rest went ahead to get Veetor before you and your team could get there! I tried to stop them. I am coming to meet you!" Before he could reply she cut the line. She sounded distressed.

"Shit!" he muttered. He was trying to figure out a way to deal with them without hurting them.

"Looks like this answered my question." Miranda said smugly.

Shepard growled and turned around to look at her. She was smiling and this time she didn't flinch at his angry glare. He sighed and took a deep breath so he didn't say something that he would later regret. He saw movement behind her and readied his weapon.

"It's just me Shepard." Tali said uneasily when she saw his weapon drawn.

He immediately lowered it "Sorry Tali."

She nodded at him and walked up to the group.

The four reached the front of the building where Veetor was held up and saw the bloody battle in front of them. The team was being taken out by the large YMIR Mech.

"Keelah!" Tali shouted before jumping down the small balcony to assist her team.

"Wait!" Shepard shouted after her.

He realized it was to no avail and jumped down after her. Miranda and Jacob were not far behind. The four began firing at the mech. They were easily able to take down the small mechs that came out to join the battle, but the larger one was another story. Shepard remembered the rocket launcher he grabbed at the Cerberus base and pulled it from his back took aim and fired. It seemed to have taken it by surprise. The large mech stumbled forward. It noticed Tali taking cover behind a crate and blasted near it. It sent her toppling back a few feet. But it had her in its sites and wasn't done with her.

The blast from the mech had winded and dazed her. Her shields were completely drained and charging. She gasped trying to get in air but hissed from the pain in her side. She placed her small hand over where the pain was, when she pulled back she saw her finger tips were stained red. Her eyes widened form fear and shock. She failed to notice the mech closing in on her.

"Tali!" Shepard screamed!

* * *

She looked up in time to see the large mech taking aim and raising its large arm in the air to crush her. There was nothing she could do now, her shields were down and she was pretty badly injured. She closed her eyes and accepted her fate.

Shepard saw the mech raise its arm above its head. No. He was not going to let it take Tali. He refused to watch another friend and someone he cared about die.

He charged forward as fast as he could and with every ounce of strength. He was so close, yet so far! He had to make it! He closed his eyes, threw up his shields, and willed himself to be there.

The quarian was knocked over and she thought this was it….a few seconds passed by and she didn't feel any new pain. She felt something heavy on top of her and slowly opened her eyes. When she finally did she found that Shepard was on top of her and glowing blue. He had biotics? She didn't know he had them, he never used them before. The mech stumbled backwards and fell with a loud crash, and a few seconds later it exploded.

She turned her attention back to Shepard and he was breathing heavily. His head was next to hers, almost in her neck. She felt like her cheeks were on fire.

He seemed to realize the position that they were in and slowly rolled off of her and instead laid beside her.

"Sh…Shepard, I froze and you saved my life!" She said while sitting up, voice cracking.

"Hey hey..." He said while wrapping his arms around her.

"It's ok, it happens." He said reassuringly. He slowly pulled away and noticed her side.

"Tali you're bleeding!" He said, not even hiding the fear in his voice.

"I forgot about that.." She said weakly. She was starting to feel dizzy and heavy.

He carefully scooped the small woman up in his arms and pulled up his omni tool to find her shuttle. He nearly ran to it, but refrained due to the state Tali was in.

He bypassed the back door and carefully set her down on a bench.

"Where are your medical supplies?" He nearly barked.

She would have been more alarmed at his tone if the situation was different.

She simply pointed to a small cabinet near the doors. He threw the doors open and pulled out what looked like a quarian equivalent to a first aid kit. He knelt beside her and carefully dabbed away at the blood and applied pressure to the wound. She hissed in pain.

"Sorry." He whispered gently to her.

He pulled back the cloth and squeezed medigel on to the cut. He pulled off his armored glove and put on a clean glove he found in the box. It was awkward considering he had to fir his five fingered hand in to the three fingered glove. Tali noticed his problem and giggled. He looked over at her and chuckled while shaking his head. He smeared the gel over the cut and affected area. He covered it with the sterilized cloth. He pulled tape out and carefully wrapped it around her side. Tight, but not too tight. He pulled a syringe for antibiotics and she guided his hand where to inject. She winced as he pushed his thumb over the plunger.

She punched a few commands into her omni tool and sealed off sections to her suit.

He hadn't realized his hand was still on her side, he blushed and quickly removed it.

"You risked your life to save me…"she said so quietly, he wasn't sure if it was meant for him to hear or not.

"Tali, I couldn't stand the thought of you hurt or…" he trailed off.

"Dead." She finished for him.

"Keelah Shepard! You were gone..d..dead for two years! But..now you…you're back." She said more to herself than him.

"If it were up to me, that never would have happened Tali." He said while sitting next to her on the bench. He took her hand, and instantly felt a strange heat.

"Come with me." He said while looking at her, pleading her to come.

She looked at their linked hands and sighed. She pulled hers out from his and stood up. Her own hands found each other.

"Shepard I have my own mission right now, responsibilities I can't turn my back on." She said to him.

He looked down and away from her.

"Believe me I want to though." She said sadly.

This brought a small, sad smile to his lips.

"Let's go get Veetor." He said while standing.

"Can you walk?" He asked her.

Those eyes, that look! It made her nervous, she felt the tingling in her stomach and her face go hot.

"I..I can manage." She stammered.

He shook his head and scooped her up again.

"Sh-Shepard! I can walk!" she exclaimed.

"You need to heal." He said casually.

She sighed, she knew when he was like this there was no reasoning with him. He was in protector mode. They made it back to the battlegrounds in front of the building where the quarian was. Miranda and Jacob were both sitting on a crate waiting for his return.

"About bloody time!" Miranda sighed

"Save it Lawson." Shepard growled. This time she did back down after the hard glare she received.

He gently set Tali down by the control panel and she unlocked the door to reveal the disoriented and scared quarian.

"We need to take him back to headquarters and question him." Jacob stated, fully expecting the commander to agree with him.

"Shepard he has been through enough! He needs medical attention not an interrogation!" Tali pleaded with him.

"We need that data Shepard, how else do you expect we get it?" Miranda questioned.

He sighed heavily.

"He goes with Tali." He stated simply.

"But-" He interrupted Miranda before she could speak.

"Thank you _Shepard." _Tali said coolly before shooting Miranda a glare.

It look was returned.

Tali walked over to Veetor and uploaded the information from the security system and his omni tool on to her own.

"Here." She said to Shepard while transferring the data over to him.

"As a thank you for saving my life yet again and for letting me take Veetor home." She said while smiling under her visor.

Shepard smiled at her.

"Keep in touch Miss Vas Neema." He said with a smile.

"Will do." She said with the same smile, although hidden.

"Keelah se'lai." He said while she was walking out the door with Veetor.

Both quarians paused momentarily before continuing on.

"Keelah se'lai Shepard." Tali whispered.


	7. My Curse(Revised)

Hey all! I am really glad for the follows, reviews, etc! Again, very sorry for the long wait on the update, I have been very busy with school and training for my new job. I finally have some downtime to get the story out! I hope you enjoy! Again feedback is welcomed!

He replayed the events of the day again and again in his head. The Illusive Man was actually telling the truth about the missing colonies, he had reason to be skeptical. He was the head of Cerberus after all. He let out a sigh and leaned his head back to the wall of the shuttle. Seeing the colony of Freedoms Progress gone without a trace was all the convincing he needed. This by no means meant he trusted or liked Cerberus. But he felt like it was his moral duty, and his duty as a soldier to do something about it.

One good thing did come to him that day, Tali. He could not believe that she was even there. What were the odds of that even happening? He smiled as he thought about her. She had changed, but at the same time was the same girl he always knew. Except now she wasn't just a girl, she was a woman. She had grown up so much during her time aboard the original Normandy, and even more in the two years he had been gone.

He remembered how much time he used to spend down in engineering talking to her. She was always happy and eager to teach him about the ways of her people, and he was always happy to listen. For some reason he always enjoyed talking to her…no he always enjoyed just being with her. Something about her made him happy and relaxed. He never felt like that around Ashley though. When he was with her he just couldn't let his guard down. He knows how much she hated the fact he would never open up, but he couldn't burden her with his problems. He couldn't burden anyone with them.

The docking had been complete. It had been a long day, he wanted to sleep. But sleep seemed like a waste, he had been asleep for two years. He ran his fingers along his brow and down the bridge of his nose. With a sigh he gathered his gear and made his way on to the Normandy.

"Just like old times ay commander?" Joker asked while swiveling in his chair to face him.

Shepard let out a small chuckle. "Almost" He said sarcastically.

Joker shook his head at his commander. "What a downer." He then swung his chair around and turned his back to him.

Shepard made his way to his cabin to drop his things down. He took a shower and tried to lie down. He closed his eyes and hoped to find sleep but had no such luck. His mind was racing. He was thinking about his old crew, the mission ahead, the reapers, Ashley, and Tali…

He growled and got out of bed. He couldn't waste his time thinking about everything. He would drive himself nuts and get nothing done. He was going to have to handle this one thing at a time. He went to his terminal and started to do some research. He was going to track down his old crew, the Illusive Man filled him in, but could he really trust the source? He just wanted to be sure.

After a couple hours or searching, he discovered he was right. Garrus was off the grid. Ashley was on some secret mission and nowhere to be found. Wrex was back on Tuchanka…

He stood and walked to the bathroom to splash water on his face. He grabbed a towel and dabbed himself dry. He looked at himself in the mirror. It was strange. It was him, but at the same time he looked so different. He had the glowing scars on the side of his face, but Chakwas assured him they could be fixed. He had a small beard going, and he hated it. His hair was longer than Alliance regulations, but he kinda liked it longer. Plus he wasn't really Alliance any more. Well for no now. He searched the bathroom for a razor and began to scrape away at his facial hair. After a few minutes he was more recognizable. He smiled a little to himself. He finally felt more at ease and decided to try sleeping again, and this time he found it.

* * *

She had set the small shuttle to auto pilot. She was in no condition to fly physically and Veetor was in no condition to fly emotionally. . Veetor has finally stopped his ramblings and drifted off to sleep. He was in poor shape. She gave him fluids, food, and something to help him sleep. The shuttle was silent except for the hum of the engine. Finally some time alone with her thoughts. She was still in complete shock to see Shepard. She couldn't believe that he was alive, he was with Cerberus, but at least he was alive. She knew it was actually him when he mentioned the geth data and by the way he looked at her. She had never seen anyone with those eyes; they seemed like they could see through her mask and actually see her. She sighed, that was just her silly fantasy though.

Shepard was a surprisingly good medic. He reacted quickly and had cleaned and treated it so well she only had a small infection. She was sad that her suit was ruined thought, it had lasted her all through her Pilgrimage. She had put off getting her new one for quite some time now. It was time for her adult suit.

After about two days of flying the small shuttle finally alerted her they were near the fleet. She felt well enough to take it in for a landing. She was glad to finally be safe and at hope. She felt better than she had in a very long time.

* * *

It had been a long couple of weeks. But Shepard was used to that, and to be honest he was kind of glad to be back in the action, to actually be doing something and not running around and chasing geth. He frowned at the thought. It reminded him of his most recent visit to the Citadel. Things had not gone well with the Council and Anderson. After everything he had done they drug his name through the mud. They wrote off everything he had said and done. One good thing did come of the Citadel though, a small kleptomaniac named Kasumi. He smiled; he knew Tali would love the woman.

Along with Kasumi he had picked up a salarian doctor named Mordin. He sure talked a lot, but Shepard didn't really mind. He was only on the ship for a day and already had ideas for improving everyone's health and armor. Shepard smiled. Omega was an odd place. It had brought him the rough and gruff mercenary Zaeed. He made him self comfortable in one of the spare rooms on the engineering deck. He often popped in with him and listened to his old war stories. The two were similar in a way, but at the same time they were polar opposites. Omega had also brought him back with his best friend, Garrus. He was going by Arch Angel. He was glad his old friend actually believed him and what he was fighting for. Most of all he was glad to have someone he knew and could trust on board that was not part of Cerberus.

They picked up a tank bred krogan that decided to go by Grunt. It was a strange day when he released him from his tank. The krogan had attempted to kill him until Shepard was able to prove himself a worthy fighter. He had been amazed at its strength and abilities. He proved himself more than useful when they were picking up Jack, aka Subject Zero. Jack was a force to be reckoned with. She was bitter, crude, loud, and strong. She was someone that you did not want to cross and definitely not piss off. He was worried about her behavior toward his crew. Especially Miranda. The two did not get along at all. He was going to have to keep a close eye on them.

With recent events he had taken to taking frustrations out in work outs in the cargo hold. He was starting to notice his muscles coming back. Maybe it was the cybernetics, but he appeared to be getting in to shape a lot faster. This was something he was not going to complain about.

He had finally had enough of the weights and moved to the treadmill like device and began running. He tuned out the world around him. He had been running for about twenty minutes, he could have sworn he heard a noise from the entrance of the hold. He jumped and placed his feet along the outer edge of the treadmill and looked back. Nothing.

"You're losing it Vickie boy" he muttered and jumped back down to continue his run. After about five minutes the small thief appeared out thin air on the handle bar.

"Heya Shep!" She said with a big grin.

This caught Shepard completely off guard. He let immediately lost his balance and s shot off the treadmill. He rolled a couple times and let out a groan. The thief was on the ground laughing clutching her sides. She staggered over to him laughing.

"Are you okay?" She asked while still laughing.

He mock glared at her.

"If anyone else pulled that they'd be out the air lock." He said with a smile.

He had grown to like the thief, she reminded him of his sister. The similarity didn't make him sad, but happy. She finally gained her composure.

"You looked extra tense the past couple of days. Wanna come to my room for some sake and ramen?" she asked with a big smile.

He thought about it for a second.

"Alright. I just got to shower and change." He said while standing up.

"See you in an hour?" she asked.

"See you then." He said while making his way to his cabin.

* * *

He plopped down on the black couch. Kasumi handed him a bowl of ramen and a large glass of sake. She sat on the opposite end of the couch with food and drink in hand. The two ate and drank with small conversation.

When the two were done they sat in comfortable silence for a moment.

"Shep?" she asked suddenly.

"Goto?" he replied with a smile.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" she asked slowly.

He thought about it for a second. He really didn't like getting personal at all. He looked at her.

"Alright, shoot." He finally gave in.

"Who is the girl in the picture in your room?" she blurted out. She kicked herself for not being more tactful in the matter.

"Why you interested in me?" He asked while winking and making a mock kiss at her.

She glared at him and tossed a pillow at him. He laughed and feigned pain by falling on to the floor.

"You wish!" She exclaimed while jumping on him and mock wrestling.

"I forgot you got the hots for Jacob." He shot back while laughing.

She play punched him in the shoulder. He saw her cheeks turn red. She got off of him and sat back on the couch.

"Seriously Shep. You don't really talk much." She said while picking up her glass.

He leaned back against the couch. He grabbed his glass and poured the rest down his throat.

"You know that's the same thing she said. The girl in the picture." He said with a sad smile.

Kasumi didn't say anything. She frowned and looked at him.

"Her name is Ashley. We had a thing before I died. But I don't know. She always got mad at me because I would never open up to her. I just feel like I can't you know? You know about me, the battles and experiences. Same thing everyone knows." He paused.

"Living with the memories is hard. It haunts me all the time. The guilt and pain. I can hear them sometimes, everyone I have hurt or killed. I can't share those memories with anyone Kas. This is my curse." He said while swallowing hard.

He looked at her. This is the part where Ashley would always yell and go off at him.

She poured him another glass which he downed quickly. She looked at him and cocked a brow, but poured another glass.

"We all have our demons Shep. I know I have mine. But trust me; it helps to talk about it once and a while. If you ever feel like it I'm here for you." She said with a small warm smile.

"Thanks Kasumi." The two kept drinking, talking, and laughing. Before either knew it, they both fell asleep. Kasumi sprawled out on the couch and Shepard on the floor.

* * *

Beep….beep…..beeep….Shepard groaned and silenced his Omni tool. He rolled over to try and get comfortable again.

"Bridge to commander, the Illusive Man would like to speak with you." Joker's voice chimed over the rooms intercom.

Kasumi and Shepard both groaned. Shepard rubbed his eyes.

"Alright be right there." He replied groggily. He staggered as he tried to stand. He looked over to the couch and Kasumi was already out again. He chuckled and shook his head as he made his way to speak to the Illusive Man.


	8. I Don't Love You

Sorry for reposting the last chapter! I forgot to write about Zaeed! It was pointed out so I had to add him in there of course. I will work on the punctuation and grammar errors as well :D I am so thankful for the follows, favorites, and reviews! It really means a lot to me. I hope you enjoy! P.S. Sorry this one is slightly shorter, but I wanted to break them up :) The next chapter is a work in progress.

* * *

She could not believe she was on another mission, and yet again in charge. The team of quarians were on their way to the planet Haestrom, a former quarian colony. It was her job to find out the cause of the unusual pattern that the sun was showing in their studies. She was trying to reason out all possible causes, but in all honesty she was unsure.

Most of the squad was asleep, but she was restless. She was nervous about leading another team, last time she was in charge her whole team died. But then again it wasn't really her fault, it was Praza.

"Stupid bosh'tet." She muttered to herself.

She tried getting in a more comfortable position and shutting her eyes, but her mind had other plans. She couldn't stop thinking about Shepard. She was beyond glad he was alive, but still uneasy about his situation. A smile spread across her lips. She thought about how kind and gentle he was on their last encounter. That was definitely a side of Shepard she knew and loved. Whenever she thought about him her heart always skipped a beat. She tried to tell herself it was only a crush…..but deep down she knew better than that.

* * *

He just finished his meeting with the Illusive Man. Shepard knew he had to do something, and he had to do it fast. He made his way to visit the Salarian doctor to see if he could provide him with any information on the Collectors.

After a blast of information from the doctor he stared at the strange flying bug in the jar.

"So are you sure this is going to work?" Shepard asked, while turning the jar over in his hands.

"Perhaps. But we won't know until we try it." The doctor said with a smile.

Shepard's eyes widen for a split second. He saw the smirk on the doctor's face and then relaxed again.

"It will work in small amounts. Not too many stings at once, be cautious commander." The doctor said with a bow of his head before returning back to work. Shepard left the doctor to his work and made his way to the cargo hold to gather his gear.

He called Garrus and Miranda down for this mission. The three geared up and waited for Joker to get close enough for them to jump out of cargo bay. The three landed on to the human colony, Horizon.

"Be on your guard. We have no idea what to expect or what we are dealing with." Shepard ordered.

The two squad mates nodded in agreement.

* * *

"You have to do something!" the man exclaimed.

"There's nothing more we can do." Shepard replied with a sigh.

"The whole damned colony is on that thing!" The man exclaimed louder this time.

"We did everything we could. I'm sorry; we didn't want things to turn out this way." Shepard said grimly.

"You're right Shepard." Garrus added with a frown.

Miranda said nothing, just frowned.

"Shepard…wait I remember you….you're some big Aliance hero or something." The man said, now calming down.

"That's right. He's the commander Shepard. Commander of the Normandy, first human spectre, savior of the Citadel….You're in the presence of a god! Back from the dead." Ashley said as she rounded the corner.

"Of all the good people, you get left behind. Screw it! I'm done with you Alliance types." The man yelled before stomping off.

She walked over to Shepard and stopped until they were inches apart from each other. He looked in to her brown eyes, they were impossible to read. Their eye contact was broken when she blinked when she stepped forward and slapped him hard across the face. He blinked several times trying to process what had just happened. She started hitting him hard against the chest. He let her get a few hits in before gently grabbing her arms. He looked in to her eyes; they were now red and filling with tears. He pulled her in for a tight hug. She allowed it for a few seconds before shoving off of him.

"We thought you were dead Shepard! You were just hiding away? What the hell?! How could you do this to us? To me?" She screamed at him.

"Ash, I was dead. I only woke up a few weeks ago." He told her gently.

"Why didn't you contact me?" She demanded.

"I couldn't find you." He replied quietly.

She did not respond or make eye contact with him. She finally noticed the familiar turian standing a few feet behind him. She also noticed the raven haired women and the Cerberus insignia on her jumpsuit. Ashley stiffened and stepped away from him. He looked at her quizzically.

"You're with Cerberus." She spat with so much venom that it could kill.

He sighed. He knew this topic was going to come up sooner or later.

"Ash, it's not like that." He tried to explain.

"Don't call me that!" She hissed.

"You betrayed us all; the alliance, everyone on the Normandy, me, and even your mother. You are siding with the enemy!" She said while glaring at the man.

The mother comment struck a cord within Shepard. He immediately stiffened and his eyes turned cold. The turian noticed and decided to try and reason with the woman.

"Ashley, we are working with Cerberus to try and find the reason behind these missing colonies. Cerberus is the only one willing to do anything about it. You are missing the big picture." Garrus said steadily.

"For all you know they are the ones behind this!" she shot back.

"Ash-" Shepard started, but was cut off.

"No! I'm done here. I'm done with you too Shepard. I've moved on and found someone better than you. Someone that won't turn his back on me or his beliefs. Someone that actually talks to me and isn't some damaged, emotional wreck either. I don't love you." She said coolly while walking away from the group.

Shepard's jaw tightened. He unclenched it and let out a deep breath. As he was watching her walk away, he saw some distortion in the air around her, and the woman stumbled and fell. Garrus chuckled and shook his head and Miranda simply smirked.

"What do you humans say about 'karma'?" Garrus asked with a smile.

"It's a bitch." Miranda answered with the same small smile.

"Alright Kasumi, that was pretty funny." Shepard said with a smile.

A few seconds letter Kasumi aparated in front of the group.

"How'd you know?" She asked with a laugh.

"It's a secret. Gotta find some way to know when you're around." He replied with a cocked eyebrow.

Kasumi and Garrus both laughed and Miranda rolled her eyes as he called Joker in to pick them up.

* * *

She had not expected geth to be here. They had come out of nowhere and ambushed them. They were pinned down for hours. They finally managed to gain an opening, her team barricaded her in one of the rooms so she could complete the mission. She hated the idea that so many were sacrificing themselves for her. They told her it was for the greater good. All quarians were taught they needed to put the needs of the many over their own. She did not think she was worth it. She was only one quarian, there were many out there and they were dying.

She shook her head and tried to regain her composure. She was going to get to the bottom of this. She stood up from the broken stone slab and began walking toward the broken terminal. She felt the shooting pain on her side. The wound from Freedom's Progress was reopened when she was slammed against a metal crate in the battle outside. She ignored the pain and began working on the terminal. She had to figure something out and fast. She finally got the terminal to work and sent out a distress signal. She then began to log their findings in case the geth finally did break down her barricade. She hoped it would reach the fleet or anyone willing to help them.

* * *

The moment Shepard stepped on to the Normandy Joker informed him of the distress call he had picked up. Part of Shepard wanted to immediately blow off the call. He was tired; it had been a long day. It had been a long few weeks. He was tired of doing things for everyone else, but he stopped and listened.

"Woah okay this is weird. I decoded the call, and you'll never guess who needs your help." Joker said while swiveling around in his chair.

Shepard raised a brow to his pilot.

"I picked up a call from Haestrom. Turns out our quarian friend is in a jam and sending a distress call. She covered up the fact it was quarian transmission. My guess? So they would actually get some help." The pilot said in his usual manner.

"What are you waiting for set a course?" Shepard ordered.

"But what about-" He was cut off.

"Just do it." He ordered again, this time slightly firmer.

"Aye aye commander." The pilot said while swiveling back around.

As Shepard was walking away he heard the usual bickering between the AI and the pilot. He smiled to himself. He had a few hours before they would arrive, so he decided to clean himself up a bit.

He examined himself in the mirror as he shaved away at the stubble on his face. He looked at the sides of his face and was glad to see the orange lines were faded away, and redness in his eyes was finally gone. He looked like himself again. He was actually starting to like the idea of not being in the Alliance. He had more freedoms in his life.

He stepped out of the bathroom and put on fresh pair of clothes that went on beneath his armor. He was ahead of schedule and he was happy for that. He went down to the cargo bay to get ready for the rescue mission. He picked out heavier artillery, since he knew they would be dealing with geth.

After several minutes the team was ready for the mission ahead of them.


	9. Stand My Ground

Hey all! Hope everything is going well for you! And Happy Thanksgiving to you and your families! Sorry for the super long lag on the update, as usual school and work got the better of me BUT! My quarter is over soon and I will have a month off! So that will mean more updates! :D As always thank you for the follows, likes, and reviews Enjoy!

* * *

"Keelah.." The small quarian muttered to herself upon realizing the problem on Haestrom.

The sun was dying at an alarming rate, which would be normal if it were an older star, but it was too young for it to be going through this stage of its life. It was emitting large amounts of radiation, which made battling the geth that much harder. All of her weapons were fried by the time she made it to shelter. She felt a wave of fear and guilt wash through her. She was inside while her team was outside dying.

No! She could not let those thoughts cloud her head. She had to complete the mission or their deaths would have been for nothing at all.

* * *

Shepard had picked up on Tali's dislike for anything or anyone Cerberus on their last encounter, so he decided not to bring Miranda or Jacob along for this mission. He decided to pick Garrus, he wanted someone he knew he could rely on, plus Tali knew him already. And on a gut decision he picked Grunt. He wanted to see what the tank bred krogan could do.

The team landed on the planet and stepped off of the shuttle, it was too dangerous for a drop off from the Normandy. The three stepped out of the shuttle and were immediately blinded by the sun. Everyone's omni tools began beeping to alert them to their weakening shields.

"Damnit! Take cover out of the sun!" Shepard ordered as he moved in to cover.

"This should make things interesting Boss." Garrus said with a smirk while looking at Grunt.

The krogan was awkwardly hunched behind debris to avoid direct sunlight. Grunt looked at the turian and let out a small growl. Shepard watched the exchange and chuckled at the sight of the krogan. He cleared his throat.

"Alright, let's get back to it. I want you to stay sharp and avoid direct sunlight; we don't want to fry our shields and weapons before we even run in to trouble." He said before removing his weapon from his back.

"I like trouble." Grunt said with a wicked smile.

Garrus looked amused but said nothing in return.

The team made their way to an open area where they watched a drop ship unloaded a wave of geth.

"I am krogan!" Grunt bellowed before charging the wave.

Shepard and Garrus followed suite, but not quite as recklessly. If they weren't careful the geth could easily pin them down since their shields were easy to overload because of the sunlight.

"Stay in cover! Don't let them flank us!" Shepard ordered.

Grunt seemed to realize he wouldn't be able to fight as directly as he would have liked and began to take more caution, not much though. Shepard poked his head out of cover after changing clips, only to quickly return down. A dismembered geth flew over his head and crashed only a few feet from him. He didn't even bother to wonder what happened after he heard Grunt roaring and laughing. He was like a tank!

After the geth in the area were taken down the three made their way to a shadowed stairwell. They found a dead quarian.

"Keelah se'lai." Shepard muttered.

* * *

They continued on through a door and made their way in to the large room. They found a small terminal and hear a distress call.

"This is Commander Shepard! Is Tali with you? Is she alright?" Shepard questioned in to the comm.

"This is Kal'Reeger. Yes she is safe, but we need help! I'm not going to question why you are here, I am just glad that you are! I am going to patch through to your omni tool so I can update you on our location!" came the static filled reply.

"Let's go team double time!" Shepard ordered as he charged out of the room.

Garrus and Grunt exchanged a glance before moving out.

The battle was taking its toll on the team of three. After they exited the building they watched a team of quarians get wiped out by a drop ship. He knew Tali would be crushed and blame herself for it. He had to shake those thoughts away and focus on saving her.

After clearing the area of geth, Kal instructed them on where to find explosives to clear their path to where he was.

Shepard let Grunt do the detonating; he knew how much that krogan loved destruction. If he hadn't had so much experience with the race, he might have been more alarmed at that fact.

The three entered the room cautiously, and once they knew it was clear began to explore it. Shepard saw a blinking light coming from a terminal. He clicked a few commands in and the familiar quarian's voice filled his ears. He had never been so happy to hear anyone's voice before.

"So much space walls of stone…I wish my friends could see this…I wish Shepard were here.."

At that part of the recording his heart began to pound in his chest. An unfamiliar feel crept over him. What was that supposed to mean? What was this feeling? His thoughts were interrupted by Garrus.

"Boss this door was locked but I managed to hack it so we can get through." The turrian said smugly.

"Alright let's move." He ordered.

* * *

Tali hear the gun fire outside grow louder and louder. The room she was began to shake. This was it, she was terrified. The geth were going to storm in the room and kill her. She knew this mission was a bad idea! She didn't even want to go along on it…in all honesty she wished she had gone with Shepard when she had the chance. She wished she had told him how she felt when she had the chance! She sighed to herself. No using in spending her last moments drowning in guilt. She was going to prepare herself so she could go down with a fight.

* * *

After convincing Kal' Reeger to stay behind and cover them, the three were able to focus on the geth that were surrounding were Tali was.

They all positioned themselves so they could not be flanked by the geth. They then began to take them out in a storm of bullets.

* * *

After a while the sound of gunfire died out completely. This was it. She was ready for the storm of geth that would soon enter the room. She hear muffled sounds from outside but couldn't make them out, they almost sounded like voice. Her thoughts were interrupted as the barricaded entrance crumbled.

She readied her weapon and took aim.

* * *

"That was the last of the explosives Boss." Garrus said defeatedly.

Shepard looked at the entrance. It had barely made a dent; there was just a medium sized opening now.

"Looks like you could fit through that human." Grunt added.

He looked at the opening again.

"I doubt that any of us could fit through that." Garrus said with a chuckle.

"Maybe I could if Grunt pulled back some of the rocks. After I go in you two could work on making a bigger opening so I could get Tali out." He replied while formulating the plan.

Garrus looked at Shepard and then Grunt.

"Not the craziest idea we have ever had. Let's go for it." Garrus replied amusedly.

The large krogan moved several large rocks aside. There was now enough room for Shepard to go through if he crawled. He peered in to the darkness.

"Here I come Tali." He whispered to himself.

* * *

She heard rocks being moved, he heart began to pound in fear. She took a deep breath to stead herself. She heard and saw movement coming from an opening in the doorway. She was ready to blast this thing to who knows where.

"Leave me alone you stupid bosh'tets!" she yelled while firing at the entrance.

"Tali! It's me! It's Shepard!" He yelled while covering his head

"Shepard? What are you doing here?" she asked. She was completely shocked.

"Keelah!" she shouted while dropping her weapon to the ground and rushing to him. She reached him just as he was standing.

"Well I was in the neighborhood and thought you could use a hand." He said jokingly.

She slammed in to him and hugged him tightly. Her heart was pounding so hard she could hear it in her ears. Her eyes began to burn and she felt warm tears roll down her cheeks.

He was shocked at the turn of events. One second she was firing at him the next he was hugging him. He chuckled and returned the hug. He was happy she was ready to defend herself. He was going to make a joke about it until he felt her shaking in her arms.

"Tali, what's wrong?" He asked her worriedly. He pulled back a little so he could look her in the eyes.

"I..I thought that was it…I thought th..the geth were going to kill me.." she stammered before continuing to cry.

"Everything is going to be ok, I'm here for you." He said with as much conviction as he could muster.

That seemed to help. She stopped shaking and the crying turned in to quiet sniffles.

"Tali.." he said quietly.

She looked up at him with her tilted slightly to the side.

"Tali come with me…I want you back on the Normandy." He blurted out quickly. He was finding it harder and harder to talk to her.

Her heart was doing summersaults! He wanted her back on the Normandy! She had the biggest smile under her tinted visor.

"I'd love to. All I need to do is send this data to the fleet." She said while typing on her omni tool.

"Let's get out of here." She said with a smile.

She took a few steps forward and would have collapsed if Shepard hadn't been there. She took a sharp breath in.

"You're hurt! Why didn't you say anything?" he questioned her worriedly.

"The wound from Freedoms Progress never fully healed, it reopened when I was in battle outside." She said calmly.

He gave her a look she knew. Before she could protest he scooped her up in his arms.

"Shepard I can walk just fine, I assure you!" she exclaimed

"You're hurt. I don't want you making it any worse. I'll have Chawkas patch you up." He said gently.

"Oh? I get a real doctor this time?" she joked.

He scoffed and feigned a hurt expression.

She laughed and winced.

"You actually did very well last time.." she trailed off. She felt the heat creeping up to her cheeks.

He chuckled. He carried her back to the entrance. It was now big enough for him to walk through if he bent his head down.

"Got yourself a damsel in distress?" Garrus asked amusedly. His mandibles flaring.

"Good to see you too you bosh'tet." She said with a sigh.

The large krogan looked at the quarian.

"Tali, Grunt. Grunt, Tali." Garrus introduced the two.

Just as Tali was about to ask if Reeger made it the marine limped his way over to the group.

"Reeger! You made it!" Tali said, her voice flooded with relief.

"Few geth aren't going to stop me!" he said with complete confidence.

"Are you ready to go mam?" Reeger asked.

"Actually…." She said nervously.

Sensing her uneasiness Shepard stepped in.

"Sorry Reeger, she's coming with me. For old times' sake." Shepard said happily.

The marine sensed something between the two. He smiled to himself. Neither had admitted it, but this would give them their chance.

"Take care mam. And you better take care of her Shepard." The marine warned.

"I will, I promise." Shepard said seriously.

Reeger nodded and parted ways from the group and made his way to his shuttle.

The four then made their way back to their own shuttle.


	10. Who Are You Now

Yes I am alive! I keep leaving you on long delays and I am so sorry. Finals, work, and personal drama do not mix well at all. But I have a month off from school so I should be able to update more often. I would have posted sooner but I was kinda in a funk and didn't want that to influence the story. So after a long wait here ya go! I hope that you enjoy! As always thank you for the follows, comments, reviews, etc. It is always much appreciated! (BTW if you haven't caught on yet the chapter titles are also song titles that kinda relate to each chapter )

* * *

After a quick visit to the med bay Shepard gave Tali a tour of the new Normandy. The debriefing with Jacob did not go well at all. Tali did not bother hiding her distrust and dislike to Cerberus. Jacob left the two alone to talk.

There was a small awkward silent. Tali would stare at Shepard and then quickly look away. This continued on for a few minutes before she spoke.

"I still can't believe that I am here, on the Normandy….that you are here again. So much has happened. For brief minutes it is like nothing ever happened, but I look around at all these unfamiliar faces and it reminds me, you died…and came back." She said quietly and shaking head slowly.

"Tali.." Shepard he started while giving her hand a gentle, but firm squeeze.

"It's still me here." He pleaded.

She smiled. "I knew it was you the moment you took off your helmet and spoke to me." She said with a chuckle.

"You don't have to convince me. I am with you all the way Shepard." She added on while returning the squeeze.

Shepard smiled and sighed with relief.

"Well I should let you rest and go tear apart those engines." He said jokingly while gently nudging in to her on their way out of the room.

"Same old Shepard." She said with a laugh.

* * *

It had been a couple of days and she was adjusting just fine. She was having trouble getting sleep though with the unfamiliar quiet.

She was working underneath the control panel in the main engine room. She was so in to her work she didn't hear the foot steps silently echoing.

"Boo!" Shepard said while touching her shoulder.

She jumped and dropped the tools she was using.

"Keelah Shepard! You made me jump out of my suit!" she said with a large sigh and putting a slender hand to her chest.

Shepard laughed and sat down next to her. After a few seconds he spoke.

"So you know what happened to me during the past two years. Tell me what happened to you!" He said with that warm smile, meant only for her. It always made her heart flutter. She looked at him and tried to think where to start.

"Well, as you know the data you gave me helped me and my people a lot. When I got back things for me stayed normal….but I spent a lot of time alone for a while." She sadly.

She noticed he was no longer looking at her, but suddenly found a spot on the floor very interesting. She knew it was only to avoid looking at her.

"But I came around. I thought to myself and I knew it wasn't what you would want me to do." She said with a smile.

She saw him relax and slowly look back up at her.

"Sadly after the Cerberus attacks there was another outbreak on some of the ships on the fleet….it reminded me of when my mom had died…things got hard for a while again. But I knew she did not die sad. She was outside of her suit, keelah how she hated out suits." Tali said with a small laugh.

* * *

He always liked listening to her talk. He loved how she lite up and how happy it made her. He smiled and nodded.

"I remember you told me about your mother before, on the original Normandy." He said with his warm smile.

"You remember that?" she asked.

"I remember you would always listen to me ramble on and on." She said quietly.

"You didn't ramble Tali. For starters I asked you all of those questions, and you were patient enough to put up with me. Secondly, I always enjoyed listening to you talk." He interjected before she could continue.

"Really?" she asked, clearly surprised.

"Of course Tali." He responded seriously.

"You were always so nice to me. And you always treated me with respect, like all the other members on the crew." She said while remembering old times.

"Were?" he asked jokingly.

She sighed and nudged him.

"You know what I mean you bosh'tet." She said with a giggle.

"You ever going to tell me what that means?" he asked curiously.

"Maaaaybeee. If you're nice." She said coyly.

Shepard just laughed heartily.

* * *

She had really missed that laugh. She missed siting and talking with him. She missed being with him. She had just missed him so much. She tried to ignore the pain she felt when she had lost him, but instead focus on having him back again. She wished more than anything she were human so she could have a chance with to actually be with him. She sighed in her head.

He seemed to notice her silence.

"You okay?" he asked concernedly.

"Y-Yes! Sorry I got lost in my thoughts for a moment." She apologized.

The two talked for a couple of hours. Shepard helped Tali work on the engines , she was surprised by his knowledge in mechanics.

"You have been holding out on me this whole time!" she gaped.

He chuckled.

"Well I only talk mechanics to my favorite little quarian." He said while still laughing.

She looked at him and shook her head. All the while tightening things here and there.

Without warning Shepard suddenly stopped and smacked his hand to his forehead.

"I'm such an idiot!" he exclaimed.

She looked at him and tilted her head.

"I'm so sorry Tali." He said sadly.

She was very confused.

"F…For what?" she questioned.

"Back on Freedom's Progress the first thing I noticed that was different about you was your suit! And I never said anything! I'm sorry Tali. I wanted to tell you I thought it looked really great." He said apologetically.

"You actually noticed?" she asked slowly with a smile across her face.

"Of course! How could I not?" He asked.

"I remember you told me you would get your adult suit when you returned home" Said while thinking back to their conversation.

"Y..You remembered that?" she asked with a gasp.

It was his turn to be confused.

"Of course I remember what you told me Tali. Why wouldn't I?" He asked

"W…well it…it's just when other species ask about us they don't usual remember or…or..or pay attention and.." she stammered nervously.

"Tali I wasn't mad when I was asking silly." He said gently.

"I was just surprised and your surprise." He added with a chuckle.

She let out a loud audible sigh, and then they both laughed together.

"How is your father doing?" Shepard asked when they both had gathered their composure.

He saw her stiffen and knew the question was an uncomfortable one for her. But before he could apologize or take it back she was already answering him.

"His usual self, more concerned with his politics and _geth _experiments then his own wellbeing…..or mine…"she added barely above a whisper.

"I'm sorry Tali, I didn't mean to make you upset or uncomfortable." He said sadly.

"If it helps I can relate in ways…" he trailed off and turned away from her.

* * *

It finally dawned on Tali that Shepard never talked about himself, but he always asked about everyone else. He always listened to others and helped others, but never asked for help himself. She knew from the whispers on the old Normandy that he had a rough childhood and a rough road in life. But she always would turn off the hearing system in her helmet when they would go in to detail. Those weren't their details to share. They were Shepard's. She never was one for gossip. But most importantly she respected and cared about Shepard too much for that.

Shepard tried to apologize again but she raised her hand up to stop him.

"You have never told me anything about your past, or really personal about you." She said still trying to figure out this realization.

She saw him freeze and his eyes widen ever so slightly. Before he could speak, she again stopped him with a slight raise of her hand.

"I am not going to work at you like Kelly Shepard. I just…I just was thinking about how you always do so much for everyone else and never ask for anything in return. You never ask for help or talk about how you're feeling. I just want you to know I'm here for you. I am not trying to force you, but if you ever need to talk….if you ever want to I'm here for you Shepard." She said while reaching for his hand and giving it a gently squeeze.

* * *

He looked down at their hands. Part if his head was panicking, trying to get out of this conversation. That was what he was used to; it was what he knew how to do. But another side…a bigger side wanted to let all the years of pain out. But it wasn't fair to burden Tali with that darkness….sweet Tali. Her hand was still on his and that made his heart pound even faster than it already was. He felt his face burning. He was starting to realize that his fee"I lings for Tali were stronger then he thought. But he couldn't tell her. He knew that. He had a million thoughts going through his head, and it was starting to give him a head ache. He blinked tightly and the thoughts slowly started to float away.

"I have a hard time talking about my past..and if I ever told you about it, you would understand why." He started slowly.

Tali simply looked at him and rubbed her thumb along the back of his hand. Waiting for him to continue.

"I feel like it is too dark to tell people. That it is my burden to bare….like it wouldn't be right to give that to someone else. Ash never understood that. She said that she did, that she just couldn't..wouldn't accept that answer. But there is a big difference between not understanding and just not accepting the fact." He said quickly. He paused and laughed.

"I'm sure you heard about Horizon. But she pretty much told me that she was done with me. Maybe she is just mad, maybe it was never real to her. Who knows…and honestly a big part of me just doesn't care. If she can't accept me, if she won't listen, if she doesn't believe in me or trust me, than what is that? Nothing right? He asked, but not meaning for Tali to answer.

"To be honest, and between the two of us, I don't think I ever loved her. I never had those cliché feelings you know? No sweaty palms, butterflies, racing heart….none of that." He said seriously.

He sighed and put his face in his hands.

"I'm sorry for that..for putting that all on you Tali." He said before trying to get up.

She reached up and pulled him down.

"Victor Shepard! You stop that and come here!" she ordered while pulling him back down beside her.

He was very surprised by the outburst from the normally quiet woman.

He landed back on the floor with a thud.

"First off I asked you! I wanted to know! In fact I would love to hear more from you!" she exclaimed.

Before he could interject she smacked his shoulder.

"Secondly! Sharing and talking doesn't make you weak. I think it makes you strong." She added gently.

He looked at her, still very surprised.

She was still staring back at him.

"Ok..Ok. How about this. After our next pick up how about you and I watch some vids in my cabin and just talk." He finally offered.

"Good. I'd like that" she said calmly. But on the inside she was dying!

"Thank you Tali.." he said quietly.

She didn't say anything, but just hugged him instead.


	11. Creep

Hey all! Had some time off work sooo had time for this! I am so happy for all the positive reviews and feedback! It makes this all worthwhile. Had one very strange review…would have loved to respond to it BUT it was a guest so go figure. It's a long chapter so….anyways….hold tight it will come. Hope you all enjoy!

* * *

Shepard had finally left engineering and was now up in his cabin reading up on the two remaining dossiers. Illium; he sighed and rubbed the palms of his hands on his eyes. It was going to be a busy, but at least he was going to get two birds with one stone. On a brighter side as well, he was going to see Liara again. He really hoped that she would react better to seeing him then Ashley did. He pushed that memory aside.

Instead he thought about his conversation with Tali. Something about her made him feel happy…a happiness he had never felt before. She made him feel like he was a normal guy, not just some "hero" everyone needed. He never felt like that with Ashley. The realization was starting to dawn on him. He had feelings for Tali..not just friendly feelings but more. His heart started to pound a little faster. He pushed away from his terminal and walked across the room and began pacing. He had never really felt this way about anyone; sure there were always crushed growing up, but this was more.

It scared him. He took in a deep breath and clenched his fist, he swung half way to the wall and stopped. He let out a long sigh. He knew he couldn't tell her about it. For starters he was kind of a mess and couldn't..no wouldn't drag her in to that. But most importantly she probably…no definitely didn't feel the same way…did she? He let out a small pained groan. Why would she like him anyway? She is so special… Why would a quarian like a human? He stopped his pacing at sat at the edge of his bed. He thought to himself for a few minutes. He couldn't tell her. It would just ruin things and make them weird…and he couldn't do that to her. She deserved to much better than him.

* * *

She stood at her terminal but found it very difficult to focus on getting any work done. She thought about the long conversation she had with Shepard. It made her heart flutter to even think about him. She sighed. He was so special..He saw the first person to treat her like she wasn't quarian…he saw past that and treated her with respect. She trusted him…and most importantly he trusted her. He even opened up to her…

She stared blankly and the controls in front of her. She knew for a long time how she felt about him…a long time. It was hard to watch him with Ashley back on the original Normandy…and as wrong as it was she was kind of happy things didn't work out. What was she saying?

"This is ridiculous!" she muttered to herself.

She shouldn't be happy about something like that. But a small dark voice in her head said it meant she had a chance. And then the rational side kicks in and laughs at the thought. Like Shepard would ever feel that way about me….

* * *

Shepard decided that since this was going to be a longer mission he would bring three crew members along instead of the normal two. He was bringing Garrus along, it never hearts to have another fighter, especially one with a dead-eye. He also brought Tali, never know when you'll need an amazing tech, and Kasumi since she had similar skills as the assassin.

The four had become a small group. Shepard needed another guy on his side whenever he was around the girls. The two women had become fast friends.

When they docked on Illium they were approached by an Asari.

"Welcome to Illium commander Shepard! Your docking fees have been taken care of." She said with an over polite smile.

"Taken care of? By who?" Shepard questioned.

"By our information broker, Liara T'soni." She replied, with that creepy smile.

"Thank you." Shepard replied cautiously.

"She is expecting your arrival." She said more business like now.

"We will see her soon." Shepard said while watching the women.

She smiled politely and gave a slight bow before walking away.

Garrus and Kasumi had stopped to browse through a terminal on one of the weapons kiosks. Tali walked over to the railing and looked over the city.

"This place is amazing. They never let the fleet dock here to trade..it's a shame. There are so many fascinating things here that could really help the fleet." She said sadly.

"It's their loss. I can fight to defend the galaxy all I want, but I can't change the ignorant people set in their racist mindsets." Shepard replied sadly.

"You know I would if I could. I would make them see the quarian people for what they really are." He added fiercely.

She looked over at him and smiled. She looked down at their hands, they were nearly touching.

* * *

He noticed about the same time she had. Their hands were so close. He moved his hand slowly to put it over him, but before he could Kasumi appeared right behind the two.

They immediately pulled their hands to themselves guiltily.

On the walk to Liara's office Kasumi fell behind the other three. Garrus was oblivious and rambling on about something. She watched how Shepard and Tali would steal the occasional glance at one another. It was so obvious! She smirked to herself. She was going to see these two together! Even if she had to do a little pushing.

* * *

It didn't take long to see how much Liara had changed. She was cold, power hungry, rutheless…

She showed a brief front of her old self when they walked in, but something inside of her snapped and she shut down, and shut them out. She revealed to him that she was the one who had turned his body over to the Collectors. But she made it seem like it was out of duty, not that she actually cared. The warm, sweet Asari he knew was gone.

She had him hack terminals to get information for her and in turn she would give him the information he needed about the assassin and the justicar. The team was quiet during the side mission. Kasumi could feel the tension. She knew better then to ask about it at the time.

They had no trouble getting her the information. Her assistant turned out to be the one she was looking for, and when Liara found out she had no problem crushing her. Shepard had finally had enough of the way she was acting.

"What happened to you?" he asked softly.

"What do you think happened?" she asked coldly.

"You're blaming me for this?" he asked while standing.

Tali made a move forward but a talon hand stopped her.

Liara didn't say anything but looked away.

"You're no better than Ashley Liara. You two act like I died on purpose, like I wanted to!" Shepard exclaimed.

"Because she is right! Look at who you are working with Shepard! I never would have turned you over had I known you wouldn't go back to the Alliance! How could you drag Tali and Garrus along? You have corrupted everyone." She hissed

He winced. That hit Shepard like a slap across the face.

Liara realized that was too far too late. She made a move to him to apologize but he put a hand up. He shook his head and walked past the three standing behind him.

Tali shook her head briefly and slowly followed Shepard out.

Kasumi stared at the Asari with a cold stare and disappeared in to thin air.

Garrus was alone with her.

Liara opened her mouth to say something to the turian, but the look on his face detoured her from it. He frowned at the asari and slowly backed out of the room.

* * *

"Shepard…"Tali tried calling to him.

He was a few feet in front of her and slowed his pace and then stopped.

"You know she is wrong Shepard! You have not corrupted or tricked anyone in to this. Garrus and I are behind you all the way. We know you are doing the right thing. We trust you Shepard..we believe in you." She said firmly while giving his arm a squeeze.

This eased his mind. She was right. If Ashley, Liara, or anyone else couldn't see that it was still him and that he was doing the right thing then so be it.

"Thanks Tali." He said with a genuine smile.

Garrus and Kasumi watched the exchange.

"Well I be. I thought we were going to have to drag a drunken Shepard back to the Normandy." Garrus said with a smile.

Kasumi rolled her eyes. He still didn't see it.

* * *

The team followed the directions Liara had given them down to the transport station. They had no problem finding Seryna's office.

"Are you Seryna?" Shepard asked the asari sitting at the desk.

"That's me what can I do for you?" the asari absent mindedly responded while clicking away at her terminal.

"What can you tell me about Thane Krios? Shepard asked, trying to remain patient.

The asari stopped what she was doing and looked up at the group in front of her.

"Who are you?" she questioned while eyeing him suspiciously.

"Commander Shepard. Before you say anything, the rumors were only half right. I'm back and I have a difficult mission ahead of me. I am looking to recruit Thane." He informed her.

"He landed a few days ago. Tough guy to track or find anything on. But with T'soni up there, we do have a little bit on him. He's an assassin, which I am sure you already know. From what we gathered he is going to do a hit on Nassana." She informed Shepard.

He could tell she was still not telling him something though. She wouldn't maintain eye contact and she seemed nervous.

"What aren't you telling me?" he asked with a raised brow and crossed arms.

The asari sighed.

"I used to be the head of security for that bitch Nassana. I found she was doing illegal business, and when things didn't go her way she would send hits out on those people." She paused before continuing.

"I found she was responsible for the death of my sister. When I confronted her about the issue she fired me on the spot. I may have…let some information about her slip to Krios…"she finished slowly.

Shepard thought about that for a minute. He would have done the same thing if he was ever given the chance to avenge his sister.

"How do we get there?" he asked with a mischievous smile.

* * *

They all crammed in to the small car.

"Someone is going to have to sit on some else's lap." Seryna said while jumping in the drivers seat.

Garrus was already in the car in the back behind the passenger's seat. He would have sat up front, but all of their weapons were there.

"Don't even think about it Shepard." Garrus said with twitching mandibles.

Shepard snorted and Tali chuckled. Kasumi jumped in the car and plopped herself on Garrus lap. He let out a small grunt and gave a confused look to Shepard. Shepard just laughed.

Shepard sat in the middle, so Tali could have the most room if she leaned closer to the side of the car.

Before they could even close the door she floored the engine and they were off.

They were on the outer edge of the building as they watched the asari fly off. They all let out a sigh of relief to have made it in one piece.

"I am so glad that's over." Tali said while stretching out.

"I don't know….I wasn't that uncomfortable." She said sly and with a wink at Garrus.

Garrus looked back at her in complete shock. She couldn't hold it in any longer and nearly doubled over laughing.

"Come on, let's find our assassin." Shepard said while rolling his eyes.

* * *

They were finally on the last floor, fighting through what was hopefully the last wave of mercs. Garrus was positioned farther back snipping away. Shepard couldn't see Kasumi, but knew she was just cloaked somewhere. Tali was about ten feet to his right. A moved to a closer position to get next to Tali, but was hit hard with a shotgun, and it completely took down his shield. H jumped next to Tali and gasped in a breath of air. The shot knocked the wind out of him.

"Shepard are you alright?!" she asked worriedly while checking for a wound.

"Ya, it just took out my shield and knocked the wind out of me." He said while catching his breath.

Tali and Shepard both stood up when they heard the all clear from Garrus. The two checked the room and all seemed well. The two were ahead of Garrus and Kasumi.

"What do you think we'll fin-" she was cut off by Shepard her back and throwing himself in front of her.

They both failed to notice the merc on the floor that was still alive. Since his shields were down he took the shot full on in the shoulder. He hit the ground and pulled out his pistol and finished the guy off.

"Shepard!" Tali screamed as she rushed over to the fallen commander.

He coughed and tried to sit up, but she gently pushed him back down. Kasumi and Garrus rushed over and him.

"I'm fine you guys, just throw some medi gel on it and I'll be fine!" he said while sitting up.

Tali glanced at Garrus and he nodded in approval. She reached in to one of her many pouches and a packet of medi gel. With nimble fingers she carefully opens it and squeezes it in to Shepard's shoulder, between the small hole in his armor. He hissed a little from the sting of it, and then sighed in relief.

"Thanks Tali." He said while trying to make eye contact.

She avoided looking at him.

"Why did you do that? Your shield was charging and mine could have taken the hit?" she asked bluntly.

"It could have done more damage to you then it would have to me. Besides, you never would have seen it coming. I saw it…so I prevented it… I didn't want you to get hurt…" he finished sheepishly.

She wanted to get mad at him, but she saw the sincerity in his eyes. Plus how could she get mad at someone that took a bullet for her?

She smiled at him and sighed.

"Thank you Shepard." She said while finishing applying the gel.

The team helped Shepard up and they went through the final door to find Thane Krios.

* * *

Shepard watched as a quiet figure slipped from the ceiling and took at the guards before shooting Nassana point blank in the stomach. She let out a gasp of pain and crumpled forward in to the assassins arms. He placed her on the consult and said a silent prayer.

After a few minutes of discussion they all made their way to the Normandy.

* * *

"No Shepard. You cannot do another mission until that arm is healed. Do you understand me?" the doctor stated firmly.

He sighed. "Yes Doc."

"Good. You can either wait or have someone else take point on this one." She said while stitching up his arm.

"Garrus would you mind?" Shepard asked.

"Take whoever you need." He added on while watching the doctor.

"Sure thing boss." He said while his mandibles twitched up in to a grin.

"Want to come Tali?" he asked the quarian woman.

She had not left his side since he had taken the shot for her.

"Uh..A..Actually I am going to stay here. Someone has to make sure this bosh'tet gets some rest." She said while giving his good shoulder a small slap.

"Suit yourself" he said while standing up and stretching.

They both watched him leave.

"Can I at least leave the med bay Doc?" he pleaded with the doctor.

She looked over to Tali.

"Make sure he takes these in four hours for pain, these in two hours for infection. And please make sure he takes it easy." The doctor said while scribbling down notes.

"Of course doctor, t-thank you again." Tali said.

"It's what I am here for." She said while closing the note book.

Tali carefully helped him out of bed. The two walked out of the med bay.

"So how about that movie night?" Shepard asked with a goofy grin.

"N-Now?" she asked.

"Sure!" he said with a big smile.

"We have plenty of time and it will give us a chance to talk." He added, smile never fading.

"I'd like that." She said with a huge smile underneath her visor.


	12. Running Up That Hill

Hey all! I cannot thank you enough for all of the follows and reviews! Especially from the usual reviewers! You guys make it all worthwhile! You make me want to keep going! Sorry for the lag on the update, I have been working like crazy! I have been called in a lot, asked to come in early, and stay late! So I have been pretty tired lately haha. But I have had this whole day off. I am writing this update in the mountains, in front of a nice fire! Hope you all enjoy! As always follows, reviews, and feedback is always welcomed!

* * *

The two walked down the hall and toward the elevator. She was really nervous about the whole thing. She was going to be alone with Shepard….in his room! That thought alone made her heart start pounding faster. She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't notice that they were on the deck to his room.

"So, while we were on Illium I managed to get some things while you were all distracted." Shepard said with a mischievous grin.

"Oh? L-Like what?" She stammered out, caught off guard by his statement.

"Well, I got some sterilized dextro snacks and some movies that might interest you." He said nervously.

She stopped and stared at him, she was shocked.

"You…you what?" she asked.

"Well I wanted it to be fun for both of us. I mean..I don't know what you would like..so I kind of got a little of everything." He said while walking to his desk. The boxes were sitting on his chair and desk.

He carefully opened boxes and moved them to his couch. She stood there watching him, trying to process what he had done for her…for her!

* * *

He was setting the snacks and beverages he had bought for them on the table, when he noticed Tali was still standing above the stairs. Her hands were in front of her, twisting and wringing away.

"Is everything ok?" he asked concernedly.

"Ye..Yes." she stammered before going down the small staircase.

"Are you sure?" he asked while trying to make eye contact.

That seemed to make her more nervous. She looked away from him, then down at her feet.

"I..Well…" she stammered.

He smiled at her, waiting for her to continue.

"It's just no one has ever done anything like this for me..so kind." She finally got out.

"Of course Tali, I mean after all we have been through and all you have done for me, it's the least I can do." He said with a big smile.

"Like I said, I wanted this to be fun." He added.

* * *

"Thank you Shepard." She said warmly.

She wanted to say more, so much more but left it at that. She had already embarrassed herself enough for one day in front of him. She always got so nervous and as humans say "tongue tied" around him. It was times like these she was glad for the visor, so she could hide her face at least.

He had separated the snacks out, to prevent confusion. She watched him grab a bag of some kind of snack and sit down on the couch, and decided to follow suit. She looked over the wide variety of colored packages in front of her. She picked some red colored liquid in a tube, and something squishy in a shiny plastic package. She carefully examined each of the items in her lap.

"I had Mordin sterilize everything." He reassured her when he noticed her looking at the snacks.

She snapped her head up and looked at him.

"Don't, I just wanted you to be safe." He said while holding a hand up.

Now she really wanted to say something! She looked back down to her lap, trying to find something to say, but found nothing. She looked back up at him. He was smiling that smile. She felt her heart start to pick up again.

"T-Thank you. This all really means a lot to me Shepard." She said while looking at him.

"You deserve it Tali." He said, while never losing that smile.

She watched him lean forward and pick up a few movies.

"What do you want to see? I am find with anything." He said while fanning out the movies for her to see.

She didn't recognize any of them so she pointed to one at random.

"Good pick." He said while preparing the vid.

Neither knew that was the movie Ashley and him were watching before the attack.

They both laughed at how ridiculous the movie was.

"So this movie is pretty lame." Shepard said with a chuckle.

Tali didn't say anything, because she was laughing too hard.

"Do you want to watch something else?" he asked while finally catching his breath.

"I don't know…I could use a good laugh." She said while still giggling.

They both looked at each other and began laughing all over again.

* * *

The terrible movie ended, and both decided to put something a little more serious in.

The movie was on for a few minutes and both were silently watching. The movie had made reference to the Batrian attacks on Mindoir. She could feel Shepard stiffen on the couch.

"You want to ask…don't you?" he asked quietly.

She took a deep breath and moved closer to him and grabbed his hand.

"I told you before, I am not going to force you to talk or pry. I am here if you want to talk about it." She said as reassuringly as she could.

* * *

He sighed. He wanted to back out of it and think of all the reasons not to tell her about it. He was afraid of what she would think or- he interrupted his own thoughts. Tali would never judge him like that, she was one of his closest friends. Hell she was on a Cerberus ship for him!

"I don't talk about it because I am afraid that it might taint people. I don't want to burden them with my problems, but.." he said nervously.

He sighed again.

"I'm sorry, I have never talked about it before." He said while looking down at his own hands.

He felt a small soft hand find its way on top of his and give it a firm squeeze.

"Take all the time you need, I'm here for you." She said gently.

He nodded and looked back down at his hands.

"Well as you know, I'm from Mindoir. I had lived there my whole life before the raid. I had a little sister, Athena and lived there with my mom and dad. My mom and dad never got along, I think they mostly stayed together for us, and because mom wasn't around a lot. She was a space." He said with a small smile.

"She would message us and do vid chats with us all the time though. She did her best; I mean someone had to pay the bills. My dad was a drunk and couldn't hold down a job. So that left taking care Athena and everything else up to me. But that just made the two of us close." He paused and closed his eyes.

Tali gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and rubbed the top of his hand.

"My dad wasn't a happy man. He had the tendency to get violent when he would get drunk. I always did everything I could to protect her. I would get him to refocus his rage on to me, so she wouldn't get hurt. Athena would get mad at me for doing that, because he would beat the hell out of me. But I couldn't let him touch her. I hated myself when I wasn't around and he would take his anger out on her." He said coldly, his voice taking an edge that Tali never heard from him before.

"What got me the most is people would look at me and just turn the other way. It went on for the longest time, until he went too far. I was home and he went for Athena, I didn't know until I heard her screaming. When I saw her red face and bloody nose I lost it. I attacked him and did not let up until I felt Athena pulling on back. I told him if ever touched either one of us again I would kill him. And he never touched either of us again." He said with a dark smile.

"You did what you had to, to protect your sister and yourself." Tali said softly.

"I know, I would have done anything to protect her. I always wished I could have saved her that day, or traded places with her….but I watched her die..I watched my father die…I watched so many people die that day." He said, voice void of emotion.

Before she could say or do anything, he continued.

"We were walking down the street, going to her favorite store. She saw these blue ribbons and she wanted them so bad, I couldn't say no to her. Those big blue eyes and blond hair." He said with a small chuckle.

"I remember it perfectly. She was tugging on my arm, asking if we could get some flowers for when mom came home, and that's when the alarms started blaring and all hell broke loose. They hit us fast and hard. I grabbed her hand and we ran. I wanted to get to the farm fields. That way we would have a chance to hide until whatever danger had passed. We were so close…we made it to our street when they had grabbed us. There was no getting around it, there were people everywhere, screaming and running. It was complete chaos. We had tried running along the trees, but they came out of nowhere and dragged us in to the street….she was screaming…and she kept screaming for me. I begged them to take me and let her go. I begged and pleaded and they laughed. They put an arm around her neck and twisted, her body went limp and they let her fall to the ground…I'll never forget the sound of the snap. They were executing people in the street. I was struggling to get out of their hold and one of them rammed their rifle in to my gut. I lurched forward, and when I started to stand straight I saw them shoot my father through the head. After that I went in to fight mode. I knew I was going to die either way. I was able to get out of one's grip for a second before they shot my in the leg. I was in the ground staring up at them and they laughed and shot my in the stomach. They wanted me to die slowly and painfully. I remember it got hard to move and the blood running out of my mouth. Everything went fuzzy and then dark. When I woke up I didn't see any of them so I crawled next to Athena to die, but the Alliance arrived shortly after. They said I shouldn't have made it but…here I am" he finished slowly.

"Oh Shepard…." She said while leaning closer to him and wrapping her arms around him and giving a squuze.

"Her funeral was a blur..but I got blue ribbon and placed some in her hair and hands before they buried her." He said with a few stray tears running down his face.

She took his face in her hands and wiped away the water from his face.

"She knows you loved her. You did everything to make her happy and to protect her. There was nothing you could have done.." she said reassuringly.

He didn't say anything but slowly nodded. She pulled him close to her and he rested his head on her shoulder. She ran her hand through his hair to try and comfort him. While he was leaning on her he continued on about Akuze, and the horrors that followed him. He told her about the dreams he had when he had died, and everything there was to tell about his childhood and life.

* * *

She kept running her hand through his hair.

"I'm so sorry Shepard…you have been through so much…and..for you to be this way…to be who you are is a miracle. A weaker man would let himself be consumed by the darkness, and be a dark and cold person. But you…you are the opposite. Despite this you are kind, warm, understanding..and..jus-just a wonderful person." She said seriously.

She was amazed at what he had gone through and he still managed to be who he was. She was honored he had opened up to her….her! He trusted her enough to share his darkest moments with her. To share so much…

* * *

He sat up and looked at her.

"Thank you Tali…that means a lot to me." He said with a small smile.

"Tali…I have to say something….I…I-" He was interrupted by the swishing sound of his door opening and two people chatting away.

"There you two are! Having fun without us I see!" the turian exclaimed while making his way to the

couch and helping himself to the dextro snacks that were in front of Tali.

Kasumi cleared her throat.

"What?" Garrus asked mouth full of food.

Shepard's face was slightly red.

"So how was the mission?" he asked to ease the awkward feeling.

Garrus was rambling away when EDI chimed in to inform him that Miranda needed to talk to him.

"Well duty calls." Shepard said as he stood up and stretched.

"Before you go take these!" Tali said while handing him the pills and his drink.

"Thanks." He said with a smile, it was starting to hurt again.

"See you guys later." He said as he exited the room.

"I better get back to engineering." Tali said after Shepard had left

"I'll see you two later." She said before leaving.

The two looked at each other.

"I told you they were in to each other!" Kasumi exclaimed while punching the turian in the arm


	13. We Are Always Searching

Hey, sorry for the delay. I have been going through a lot of personal things and just a really rough patch to be honest. So I have been really depressed and couldn't really bring myself to write and more recently I was in a car accident. I did a draft of the next chapter and it was too depressing and not good enough lol. So I scrapped it and started again when I felt a little better. To make up I will post another chapter shortly after this! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas or other holiday (depends what you celebrate) and a happy New Year. As always thank you for comments and reviews!

* * *

As soon as the elevator doors close, Shepard slammed his fist in to the wall. He could not believe the nearly admitted to Tali how he felt. It was stupid, there was no way she would feel the same way. He sighed loudly. He was going to slump down to the floor when the doors swished open to the third deck. He straightened up and walked down the hall to Miranda's office.

He entered her office and she was sitting at her terminal. He could immediately tell that something was wrong by the look on her face. Her lips were in a tight frown, and her brows furrowed together. The look in her eyes one he had seen on many people's faces before, fear.

"What's wrong Miranda?" he asked while quickly entering the room.

She stood up and began to pace around the office.

"Do remember when I told you about my father and my genetic tailoring?" she said while slowing her pacing. She looked to Shepard for confirmation.

He nodded urging her to continue.

"Well, when he decided that I wasn't good enough he decided to try again with his legacy. He wanted someone that would replace me…"she said before stopping.

"So you have a sibling out there?" he asked, trying to make it easier for her.

"Precisely, so I have a sister. When she was young we ran away and he has been after her ever since. I got her hidden away, I tried to give her everything I never had. I made sure she had a life, with a normal loving family. But my father has somehow found her." She said coolly. Her eyes failed to hide what she was feeling though, and Shepard saw through that.

"Now I am in the unfortunate position of needing your help. I need to move her and make sure she remains safe Shepard. He can't find her! I want her to have the normal life I never had." She said after finally stopping her pacing. She looked Shepard in the eyes, pleading for his help.

"I understand the need to protect your sister. I would have done anything to protect mine. This will be at the top of our list, set a course and let me know what you want to do." He said before putting his hand on her shoulder and giving a reassuring squeeze.

"And let me know if there is anything else I can do to help." He said before putting his hand down at his side.

* * *

She was surprised at his sincerity and trust. He didn't question her or the mission at hand. It threw her for a few seconds. She caught herself faltering and put her mask back on.

"Thank you Shepard." She said while maintaining eye contact.

He simply nodded before leaving the room.

She could not believe the effect that he had on everyone he seemed to come in to contact with. People would blindly follow him to the ends of the earth. With other people she was never to trust so easily, with him it came easily.

*Shepard looked at the data file Miranda has sent him. At least they didn't have to fly anywhere, her contact was already right there on Illium. Miranda wanted to keep it quiet, so only the two of them went.

He went down to the third deck to talk to Garrus before he went.

"I'm going to Illium for a while, I want you to hold the fort down for me." He said while scanning the room.

Garrus stopped working and quickly turned around. He carefully eyed Shepard, he could tell he wasn't telling him something.

Shepard sighed

"Look Miranda needs help with something. Just keep it on the down low alright? She doesn't want anyone to know about it." Shepard said with a sigh.

Garrus saw the same Shepard he had known. Always determined and ready to help people in need.

"You got it boss…and if you don't mind, I got some calibrations to get back to." He said with a grin. He turned around and got back to work.

* * *

Tali had been working in engineering for a while and decided it was time for a break. She went to the second deck to find Shepard, but had no luck. She looked around the third, before going to Kasumi's room. She entered the room and found Garrus and her on the couch drinking and talking.

"Hey Taaliii!" Kasumi slurred.

"Lightweight…"Garrus muttered in to his drink.

Kasumi punched the turian in the shoulder.

Tali grinned under her visor.

"Have either of you seen Shepard?" She asked while sitting at one of the bar stools.

The thief and turian exchanged a glance, it didn't go unnoticed.

"What? Did something happen to him? Is he alright?" she asked frantically.

"He's fine Tali, he just went planet side." Garrus said while avoiding eye contact.

"Why? Why didn't he tell us? Or take any of us?" she asked worriedly

"He went down with Miranda." Garrus said slowly.

* * *

She felt her heart shatter inside her chest. Of course he would want to be alone with her. She was human. She was smart, beautiful, and well perfect…and human. She could feel the tears building and threating to pour down her face. Her throat tightened.

"Oh..T-T-That's great…." She stammered.

"Good for him…" she added slowly.

* * *

Kasumi and Garrus Kasumi both noticed the change in demeanor in Tali. They both exchanged another glance. Kasumi's eyes pleaded with Garrus. He sighed and nodded.

"Tali, it's not like that. Miranda needed his help with a personal errand and he is just helping her out. You know how he is." She said while patting the spot next her on the couch.

Tali sat down on the couch.

"Besides he isn't even in to her.."Kasumi looked and Garrus and he was giving her the look that said "don't add more to that".

"You really think so? I mean…"Tali caught herself, but it was too late. She had already let too much slip. She sighed loudly and brought her hands to the side of her helmet and leaned forward.

"Keelah, you can't say anything!" she exclaimed in to her hands.

"Tali….I think the only person who doesn't know is Shepard." Garrus said with a chuckle.

Kasumi glared at him.

"Oh keelah! Was I that obvious?" she asked nervously.

"Well…"Kasumi trailed off. She found her drink much more interesting.

Tali groaned loudly in to her hands.

"That stupid Chambers was ready to blab everything to Shepard, but I was able to distract her." The thief said with a mischievous grin.

"Why don't you just tell him and get it over with?" Garrus questioned.

Both girls looked at him.

"What?" he asked defensively.

They both ignored him.

"You obviously don't know much about how girls work." Kasumi said while rolling her eyes.

"I can't tell him, I mean…" Tali was interrupted by EDI alerting Garrus of Shepard and Miranda's return.

The two looked at Tali. She could feel her cheeks burning.

"Oh Keelah…"

* * *

After the mission was over, Shepard had insisted that Miranda go and talk to her sister. He stayed back at a distance to give her some privacy. He watched how Orianna looked at Miranda and how Miranda looked at her. He frowned, it made him think of Athena. He recognized the look in Miranda's eyes, the way she stood in front of her sister, it was a protective stance. It was how he would stand by Athena. She would always joke around about it, but she knew he only did it out of love. He would do anything to have her alive. He sighed and smiled a sad smile.

After a few minutes the sisters parted and Miranda made her way to Shepard. Neither said a word.

"Thank you Shepard, without you none of this would have been possible. I wouldn't have been able to find her, save her, and move her…..or even meet her." Miranda said meekly.

He was surprised at her vulnerability.

"Don't mention it." He said with a small smile and nod of his head.

"Do you want to talk about her?" Miranda blurted.

His face hardened, but softened when he saw Miranda's expression change.

* * *

His expression had gone from a cold, hardened anger to one of pain.

"I just thought…" she paused.

"I read about her in your file.." she added lamely.

"Seeing you with her, reminded me of me and her..if that makes sense. You have that protective look." He said with a smile.

She slowly smiled back at him.

The two left the conversation at that and made their way back to the shuttle.

* * *

The second he stepped on the ship, EDI alerted him of everyone that wanted to talk to him. He sighed and Miranda chuckled.

"No rest for the weary…" he mumbled as he made his way to his deck.

He took of his armor, showered, and dressed down. First thing he had to do was speak with Samara, he hadn't had the chance to meet her yet. On the elevator ride down he made the mental check list of who to talk to first. He was ignoring the throbbing coming from his shoulder; he had definitely done too much too soon.

He had EDI make his presence known before entering. When he walked in the observation port she was sitting crossed legged in front of the window. She stopped glowing blue, and slowly stood to meet Shepard.

"I am Commander Shepard, I apologize for not coming to meet you sooner; but I had an injury that kept me and one of my crew needed my help with a personal errand." Shepard said while extending his hand.

Samara smiled and extended her hand in return.

"I am justicar Samara, it is a privilege to be serving with you Commander." She said gracefully.

She could tell he was unsure exactly what a justicar was, before he could ask she explained it. She explained the traditions and codes behind it, and the promise Cerberus had made. But she was vague on the details.

After a brief conversation, she politely excused herself and went back to meditating. He then made his way to check in with Garrus.

* * *

Garrus knew who had entered without even looking up.

"Hey boss." He grunted while making adjustments.

"How'd it go today commander?" Shepard asked while smiling.

"Quiet. I got dragged in to girl talk. So thanks for not being there to be a buffer." Garrus said dramatically.

Shepard laughed.

"What's going on with you and Kasumi 'big guy'" Shepard asked while mock fluttering his eye lashes.

Garrus threw an oil covered rag at Shepard's face, which caused Shepard to laugh even harder. After he caught his breath, he asked.

"In all seriousness though…" he trailed off while watching his turian friend.

He was uncomfortable with the topic, especially since he wasn't exactly sure what he felt. He looked from the console to Shepard, he was still waiting. He sighed and gave in.

"In all honesty, I am not sure. I think I may see where this one goes." He trailed off. He paused and wiggled his talons.

"You know….I could ask you the same thing…" he trailed off.

"What? About who? Miranda?" Shepard laughed.

"She is my XO, maybe my friend. But that is it, we don't click." Shepard said with a chuckle.

He looked at Garrus, and he was giving the "not buying it look".

"I mean it." He sighed, losing patience.

"She needed my help and asked to keep it quiet. Went down, did the mission, came back. Nothing more, nothing less." He said while moving his hands in a line for emphasis.

"I wasn't referring to her Shepard…." Garrus said with a cocky grin.

Shepard looked back confused.

"I was talking about Tali." Garrus said with a big smile on his face.

He laughed when he saw Shepard's face go red.

"Wha-What do you mean? We're uh friends. You know that." He said in a failed attempt to sound confident.

"Why don't you two just talk about it?" Garrus finally asked when he stopped laughing.

*He knew there was no use in lying to his friend. Shepard sighed and like his friend, gave in.

"Because I don't want to ruin our friendship…she's important to me." He said sheepishly.

Garrus gave his friend a sympathetic look.

"You have it bad huh?" he asked Shepard seriously.

He sighed. "Real bad." He replied with a chuckle. He put his face in the palms of his hands and rubbed.

Without moving he asked, "Was I that obvious?"

"Only if you were paying attention, Kasumi saw it first….Tali doesn't know though." Garrus tried to say reassuringly.

Shepard groaned in his hands while Garrus laughed.

* * *

After talking to Garrus, Thane and Jack he decided it was time to go to the Citadel. They had two missions there, one not so near but, close enough it made sense to go. Garrus found his lead, Thane found his son, and Jack wanted to blow an abandoned Cerberus base up. He wanted everyone happy and at their best for the big mission.

* * *

After docking at the Citadel, they immediately went looking for Sidonis. Garrus had been hunting him for months and finally found the lead he needed to get to him. He wanted his blood, and after hearing the story Shepard knew he needed it to finally be at peace.

When it came time to take the shot, Shepard asked one more time if he was sure this was what he wanted.

Garrus faltered.

"It won't bring them back…"Shepard said quietly in to his comm.

Garrus stayed in his position, finger on the trigger at the ready.

"Is he even worth it?" Shepard asked finally.

He sighed and stood up to brush himself off.

"Damn you Shepard for making sense." He grumbled as he packed up and made his way to the skycar.

Shepard looked up to where his friend was and smiled.

* * *

They found Thane's son in time. He was still arrested, but at least it wasn't for murder.

Garrus and Shepard sat at the police table waiting for Thane to finish talking with his son.

When he came out he looked at the two men at the table, nodded and walked back to the ship without saying a word.

The two exchanged a glance. They knew how hard it was to have any sort of family life while leading the sort of lives they did.

* * *

Jack had her gun pointed at the mans head. He wanted to rebuild and restart the base that made the two of them in to what they were. Shepard had seen Jack mad, but never like this. Before she could pull the trigger he pushed hand down.

"Jack, this guy is pathetic, is he really worth the bullet? Besides you're going to blow this shithole up anyways." Shepard said calmly.

"Fuck Shepard." Jacked said agitatedly.

"Better run before she changes her mind." Shepard warned.

The man took off.

On the shuttle out, Jack flipped the detonator around in her hand. Shepard gave her the "ok" nod, and without hesitation she pushed the button down with her thumb. A small, relieved smiled spread across her lips. She had finally found some peace.

* * *

He had finally made it to his room for the first time in days. Shepard let out a relaxed sigh as he flopped down on the couch. Had been down for less than a minute before the door swished open, and a distressed quarian quickly came in.

"Shepard..I-I-I have to leave the ship….." she choked out.


	14. Your Guardian Angel

Hey all! Thank you for the kind words and support. It truly means a lot to me and it really is helping me through this rough patch. Just started back to school and realized I took on way too much, so I had to let some things go. As always thank you so much for feedback, follows, and reviews it makes it all worth it. To my usual reviewers, and new reviewers thank you! Hope you enjoy! By the way sorry for the delay, this one took me a really long time to write. I wanted the details to be right; I really hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

Time seemed to have stopped. His mouth went dry, and he could hear a faint ring in his ear. His heart started to pick up, and he wasn't sure why, but the room seemed to be much hotter. He cleared his throat.

"W..What?" he asked, making sure that he had heard her correctly.

"I-I have to leave Shepard." She stated again, this time no more sure of herself than before. Her hands were at their usual spot wringing away, and she could not look up at him.

"Bu- Why? Did someone do something to you? Is something wrong? Do I need to talk to people?" He asked quickly while beginning to pace.

"Because if I have to I will ba-" he stopped when she called his name.

"Shepard. It has nothing to do with you, or anyone on this ship. It has to do with me." She said sadly.

"What's wrong Tali?" he asked softly. His panic quickly turning in to concern.

"The Fleet messaged me and has informed me that the Admiralty Board has accused me of treason. This is serious Shepard…I'm..I'm scared…." She said while continuing to wring her hands.

Had he just heard her correctly?

"What?" he asked, clearly in shock.

"Tali that is ridiculous! Anyone that knows you, knows you would never do anything to cause someone else harm or to betray your own people!" he exclaimed

"These charges don't come lightly, they are very serious. They only charge someone with treason if the evidence is clear. It's a rare…but serious charge." She said slowly.

"Is it because you're here?" he asked.

"If what you are trying to ask is, if it is because I am working with Cerberus then no. I am not working with them, I am working with you." She said firmly. She finally looked up at him, to give her words more power.

"What happens next?" he asked, trying to plan out the next steps.

"I go back to the Fleet. The Admiralty Board will act as judges, if I am found guilty I will be exiled….I will never be allowed back to the Fleet." She said sadly.

* * *

She tried reading his face, but couldn't. She was trying to think of more to say, how to explain the severity of the situation. How could this be happening? She never did anything wrong, she was a follow the rules kind of person…for the most part anyways. She loved and respected her people and would never betray them. She looked down at her feet and slowly back up at Shepard. Before she could say more to try and explain he spoke.

"Let's go." He said simply.

Did she just hear him right?

"Wh-Wh-What?" she asked in shock.

"Let's go to the Flotilla." He said, again very simply.

"But-But what about your mission?" she stammered.

* * *

It was his turn to be surprised now.

"Tali, I am not going to let someone so important to me face something this severe, this serious, this scary alone. I am going to do everything I can to show them your innocent. I'm here for you." He said gently while taking her hands in his.

"But the mission…it-it's more important than me." She said while turning her head away from him.

He gently put his hand on her visor and pulled her head so she was facing him again.

* * *

Her heart was pounding, loudly, very loudly. She could hear it in her ears and feel it. She wondered if he could hear it. She really hoped that he couldn't. He was so close to her, and he was touching her….Keelah…Her breath hitched when he put his hand on her visor. That was an intimate quarian and human gesture. She was trying to focus on what he was saying, but it was proving very difficult.

"Making sure you're okay is my top mission right now. Making sure everyone on this ship is okay is my mission. I don't want you worried or afraid. I want you to be okay..more than ok, but do you see my point? I mean..you mean a lot to me and I want you to be happy." He said sincerely.

Again…did she just hear him right? She was important to him…to him? She felt her throat dry and her stomach this tingling sensation. Her heart never slowing down.

"T-Thank you. You don't know what this means to me Shepard…"she said while tears began running down her cheeks.

"I was ready to book passage on another ship…I thought there wouldn't be time for you to do this.."she said while trying to blink away the tears.

* * *

He wanted to comfort her, but she seemed that kind of upset where you need to be alone. He wanted to give her time to process what was happening. He blinked back to reality.

"Of course Tali, I'm here for you. If you need anything…just let me know. Now come here." He said while pulling her in to a tight hug.

"We're going to work this out." He murmured in to her hood.

"Thank you Shepard…." She murmured back in to shoulder.

* * *

Tali wanted to keep as low of a profile as possible. She didn't want anyone involved that didn't need to be, especially anyone that was _Cerberus. _She should be happy to be home, to be approaching the fleet, but she was dreading this. She felt sick to her stomach. What would her mother think if she was still alive? What was her _father _going to say? Oh Keelah….

It was a very quiet shuttle ride. She was sitting between Shepard and Kasumi. Kasumi placed a hand on Tali's back and slowly rubbed it. Shepard placed a hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"We're going to sort this out Tali." Shepard said, trying to ease the tension and comfort Tali.

"Thank you…both of you." She said sadly.

Shepard nodded slowly.

* * *

After identifying themselves to the fleet, they were finally able to dock on one of the many ships. The stood in a tight line during the decontamination. The small chime let them know it was finished.

"You ready for this?" Kasumi asked while nudging Tali's shoulder.

"How could I be ready for this?" Tali asked while looking at the floor.

Kasumi frowned and looked away from her.

"Keelah, I'm sorry Kasumi…it-it's not you. It's just that-" she stammered

She was interrupted by the small human pulling her in to a tight hug.

Neither needed to say anything.

The door to their shuttle finally swished opened and the three stepped on to the ship.

They were greeted by an armed male quarian. He led the three down the long, cluttered hall. He stopped by the door and motioned for the three to enter. Shepard and Kasumi gave each other a sideways glance. Tali entered the room first and the two humans followed closely behind her. The doors swished shut and clicked, indicating it was now locked. They were now in a large courtyard like room.

Tali's space quickened and approached another quarian and wrapped her arms around her.

"Aunty Raan!" Tali exclaimed, she sounded somewhat relived.

"It's good to see you again child….I just wish the circumstances were better…" the woman said solemnly.

The woman pulled away from the hug and looked at Shepard.

"Captain Shepard, it is an honor to meet you." She said with a nod.

"The pleasure is mine." He said while extending a hand to the quarian.

She look at his hand briefly before accepting it.

"Although, I never reached the rank of Captain, I am only Commander." He said almost sadly.

"Amongst our people, it is the title we give to those who lead, protect, and honor their people." The woman said solemnly.

"It is an honor." He said with a nod.

"As Captain of the vessel Tali serves on, your voice carries a great weight." Raan said to Shepard.

Shepard solemnly nodded. The woman paused before continuing.

"Tali…you have been accused of sending active geth back to the fleet…" she said darkly.

"That's insane! I would never do anything that could harm the fleet! I only sent back pieces to father!" Tali exclaimed frantically.

Sensing the unease from the woman beside her, Shepard spoke up.

"Admiral Raan. What is the next step? Who will be defending Tali?" Shepard questioned.

'Captain Shepard, Tali is part of your crew now. In quarian culture, the captain of the ship represents their own…" She trailed off.

The reality hit him hard and fast. He slowly looked over to Tali, she was already looking at him.

"So..you would actually be speaking for my defense…"she said nervously.

He watched as nervously twisted her hands together and leaned forward and back.

"Tali, it would be my honor to speak on your behalf. I would do anything to help you." He said all while smiling under his helmet.

* * *

She felt her heart melt and flutter. Her stomach had that tingly feeling she got whenever she was around him.

She looked back to him, and was also smiling under her helmet.

"Thank you Shepard, I couldn't ask for anyone better to speak on my behalf." She said sincerely.

"Our rules and trials are very simple. No tricks or political loopholes for you to worry about. You just need to present the truth as best you can. Now come, we need to get started." Raan said as she lead the group to the center of the large room.

They approached what would be the equivalent to "the bench" at a human trial. There were already quarians sitting on the raised spots, and many gathered around. Kasumi stayed back and sat on one of the benches surrounding the trial.

Tali and Shepard approached the raised platform. Raan left the two and made her way to stand with the admirals.

"This Conclave has been brought to order, blessed be the ancestors who have brought us here. Keelah se'lai." Raan said to the crowd.

"Keelah se'lai." Everyone chanted in response.

"The accused Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy stands with her captain to defend herself against the charges before her." Raan began.

"Objection! This _human _has no business at all being here!" The small quarian man shouted.

"Then you shouldn't have declared her part of the Normandy crew then Koris." Raan said, clearly annoyed.

She turned her attention to Shepard.

"Your crew member stands here accused of treason, will you speak for her?" Raan questioned.

Shepard paused briefly and stepped forward.

"I will." He said solemnly.

She then turned her attention to Tali.

"You have been accused of bringing active geth aboard the fleet. What do you have to say for yourself?" she questioned.

"Tali would never knowingly do anything that would harm the fleet. She holds you, her people in the highest light and with the utmost respect. The happiest I see her is when she is telling me about your customs and ways. For her to be accused of this is ridiculous. She pleads not guilty." Shepard said with every bit of conviction he had.

"I only sent back pieces and bits to the fleet because my father had asked. I always made sure the pieces were inactive. I would never do anything to endanger the fleet. Everything I sent was harmless!" Tali pleaded.

"Then explain geth seized control over the ship where your father was stationed!" Koris sneered.

The room erupted in to chaos.

"Wh-What are you talking about?" Tali asked. She was clearly confused and panicked.

"The geth over took the Alarei and killed everyone on board, even your father. All attempts at communication have been unsuccessful. All ships sent to the ship have been attacked and severely damaged." Koris said matter of factly.

"This trial needs to wait. We need to get to the Alarei now!" Shepard interjected.

The Admirals turned away from the crowd and talked amongst themselves.

"We give you permission to board the ship. We will have a shuttle prepared for you in a few moments. Be safe and Keelah se'lai." Raan said emotionlessly.

* * *

The three were on a very small shuttle. The two women were in the back and Shepard was flying. Kasumi was wracking her brain for something to say to Tali. Something to try and comfort her friend.

She looked over to Tali and opened her mouth to say something.

"Please…don't…"Tali said sadly.

Kasumi frowned and turned away.

The rest of the short ride was silent.

*The small shuttle docked along the Alarei. The ship was dark and silent. The three readied their weapons and boarded the ship.

"We don't know how many geth are here so be on your guard." Shepard said quietly.

"Let's get this over with." Tali said sadly.

The two humans looked at each other and frowned, but didn't say anything.

Tali led the team down a narrow hall way. She stopped in front of a door that was half open, but jammed. She tried scanning the panel but it had been fried.

"Looks like we have to do this hard way." Tali said while turning to Shepard.

He nodded her way before stepping in front of the door and prying it open. The door clicked in to place.

They all entered the room. Tali approached a large terminal and started punching away at the keys. After a few seconds it sprung to life. The video showed her father speaking about activating the geth to preform experiments. The video clearly incriminated her father. Shepard frowned and turned away from the screen. On the far side of the room were empty metal shipping containers. He looked at the shipping tag, they were from Tali. He could only assume the name for who they for was her father. He heard the video end, and now the room was silent. Tali came next to Shepard was in his hands.

"Shepard…I know what you may be thinking…but it's not what it looks like. I only sent inactive pieces of geth back to my father. You know I would never do anything to put my people in danger." She said shakily.

Shepard placed both hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes.

"Tali, you don't have to convince me of that. I know. I know you Tali. I see the way your eyes light up when you talk about your people. I hear the pride and joy in your voice when you talk about them. I trust you more than anyone I have trusted in my life, you know that right?" he asked.

He heard a small sniffle and saw a small nod.

"I am going to do everything to prove your innocence. I will fight tooth and nail..until…"he trailed off trying to think of something more to say.

His train of thought was interrupted when Tali slammed in to him and hugged him.

"Thank you Shepard." She said in to his shoulder.

Kasumi smiled as she watched the exchange from the doorway.

"Let's find our proof to rub in their visors." Shepard said lamely.

Tali looked up at his sloppy grin through his helmet and laughed.

* * *

It looks like they put up one hell of a fight.."Kasumi said grimly.

It seemed as if all of the geth had been eliminated until Shepard saw distortion in the corner of the room.

"Get in to cover! We have geth incoming!" he ordered.

The three dove behind a long counter. They heard the strange sound of the geth and gun fire. Shepard leaned out of cover and began firing. The two women followed his lead and began to take down the geth swarm.

"Why didn't they show up on radar?" Shepard asked while taking cover and reloading.

Tali leaned back and slammed her back in to the counter.

"They must have had a jammer!" she said while catching her breath.

* * *

Tali closed her eyes and memories of her childhood began to pay out in front of her.

She remembered the night her mother died, and her father was out working. She cried in to Raan's shoulder and kept asking where he was. She rubbed her back slowly and sang her favorite song to her so she could sleep. She woke up hours later and Raan was still muttering the words of the song between quiet sobs.

That memory flashed out and she was staring in front of her frozen. She felt a sick knot in her stomach. The video looked really bad…her odds looked really bad. Her people died because of what she had sent….what her father had done…and now here Shepard was to clean up her mess!

She heard a faint voice…she heard it again only louder this time.

She final looked over when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"I know this is hard…and I keep saying it…but, we're gunna work this out." He said, trying to comfort her.

"Let's keep going." She said quickly before standing up.

Shepard sighed and followed behind her.

"According to my readings all the geth have been eliminated." She said before opening the door.

The two humans gave her a small lead, mainly to give her some space.

When the door opened he noticed a qurian's limp body slumped on the floor. His suit had similar designs to the ones Tali wore. He knew the moment he saw the body, he knew it was Tali's father.

"Father!" she exclaimed as she rushed forward.

"No, no, no, no! Father!" she screamed.

She began to sob uncomtrollably.

Shepard stepped forward and sat behind Tali. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in to his lap. He carefully turned himself, so he was facing the body, and not Tali. She wrapped her arms around him and cried. Kasumi stepped forward and hugged Tali from behind.

"I'm so sorry Tali." Kasumi said sadly.

After a few moments she gained some composure she pulled away from the two.

"Maybe he left something…." She said while searching his omni tool.

But there was nothing.

"There has to be something! Let's keep going!" Tali exclaimed before moving down the hall and through the door. The two humans followed behind her.

There was a small room full of terminals, consoles, and pieces of geth.

Tali stepped to the console and a stream of data and messages began flickering on the screen. Kasumi and Shepard took a console and began reading. Again, the evidence seemed clear that the blame was on Tali's father.

"Tali…."Shepard started.

"Don't." she responded quickly.

Shepard stepped away from his terminal, he nodded at Kasumi and she stepped away from hers as well.

"Tali…"He tried again.

"Don't!" She exclaimed again.

"We have to get back and tell them what we found. This data will clear your name!" Shepard said while trying to reason with him.

"No! We can't tell them what we found! They will strike his name from the walls! His name and legacy will be completely erased! He will be a disgrace among my people!" She shouted pacing the room.

"But Tali, if we don't they're going to exile you!" He shot back.

"You don't understand! I can't let them do that to him!" she shouted.

She took a deep breath.

"Please…if you care about me at all…you won't say anything to them…please" she begged.

Shepard looked at her and exhaled a long breath.

"Alright, I won't say a word. Let's get back." He said while nodding slowly.

"Thank you." She said quietly.

"Let's get back." Shepard said.

The three left the ship. The shuttle ride was silent.

* * *

They made their way down the same long hall way, and back in to the court yard. The Admirals were arguing among themselves and didn't notice the three had returned until Shepard loudly cleared his throat. Once again Kasumi stayed behind and took a seat on one of the benches.

"Welcome back Miss Normandy." Koris sneered.

"What do you have to say for yourself now?" Koris questioned.

Shepard stiffened and it didn't go unnoticed by Tali.

"Shepard…" she whispered to him.

He looked to Tali quickly before stepping forward.

"We got back your damn ship, and once again, Tali has risked her life to save you people. That should be enough proof within itself. First aiding me with Saren, the geth, and the battle for the Citadel. That battle saved the galaxy! She saved you!" By this point his voice had raised and he was slowly pacing.

"She gave your people a good name! She is one of the bravest, kind, intelligent, and caring people I have ever met! I trust her with my life! I'd give her the very air I breathe!" he said before stopping.

"You all should know better. She would never do anything to harm anyone, especially her own people. This who trial is just a joke and a waste of all of our time." He said accusingly.

The crowd began murmuring in agreement with his words.

The admirals tried silencing the crowd.

"It is now time for the Admirals to take a vote."

The crowd immediately silenced and deafening silence took its place.

Shepard hoped and prayed his words were enough to show them her innocence. He would have loved to use the evidence, but he had to respect Tali's wishes. He felt his heart beating in his throat and sweat beginning to run down his neck. He closed his eyes and held his breath.

* * *

She couldn't believe the words she was hearing coming from his mouth. He defending her and not once mentioning anything about what they had found aboard the ship. Her eyes widened….no he was yelling at the Admiralty Board! That was unheard of! She finally realized that she wasn't concerned about being exiled any more. She had people that cared for her and people fighting for her! She was smiling under her visor, and tears of joy began to slowly run down her face.

* * *

"We have reached a decision." Raan said slowly.

"Tali'Zorah, the board has decided that there was not sufficient evidence. You have been exonerated of all charges. May you go in peace, Keelah se'lai." She said cheerily.

"Keelah se'lai." Everyone chanted in response.

Shepard finally let the breath he had been holding out. Tali turned to speak with him, but turned when she heard her name called. She turned back to Shepard and he nodded for her to go. She nodded back and went to speak with her aunt and several other quarians.

Kasumi silently made her way to Shepard. She gently punched his shoulder.

"You did very well Shepard, it was….wow." she said with a large smile on her face.

"You know." He said simply.

"Who do you think had to spell out to Garrus." She said with a sly smile.

He was going to say more but closed his mouth and smiled instead. Kasumi just laughed and stood with Shepard.

After a few minutes of goodbyes Tali made her way to Kasumi and Shepard.

"I'll give you two a minute." Kasumi said with a smile.

"Tali….I'm sorry about everything that happened today. This accusation, the admirals, the trial, that idiot Koris…and your father." He said sincerely.

"This wasn't your fault Shepard. If anything I should be apologizing to you for having to save me once again." She said with a chuckle.

"No, don't Tali. You don't have to thank me for this. I just…you deserve better Tali." He said sadly.

"Life isn't about what you deserve or what you don't deserve." She began.

"And besides Shepard…I got better…I got you." She said shly.

He looked at her and gave her a big hug.

"Come on Miss Vas Normandy, let's go home." He said happily.


	15. Moment

Hey all! I am sorry about the grammar errors, I usually see so many colored lines from the weird spelled names and words, and I guess I miss the mistakes. Plus I get really excited to post too haha. But, I will work on that. I have also changed my method of how I write these, before I would do a whole chapter in a night/sitting, but now I am trying doing chunks at a time instead, so please bear with me! This one also took me a while to write, again wanted the details to be just right! As always thank you so much for the follows and reviews. You guys make all the time and effort worth it! It really means a lot to me as well!

* * *

When the three returned to the Normandy they made their way to Kasumi's room. Tali silently sat on the windowsill and watched the Fleet as the Normandy's engines sprang to life. Kasumi made her way behind the bar to get drinks for everyone; it had been a long, difficult day for everyone. Shepard walked in to the room behind the two women. He wanted nothing more than to take Tali in his arms and hold her tightly, to comfort the sweet woman. He stood a little ways behind the couch and carefully watched Tali and followed her intent gaze.

He was snapped back to reality when Kasumi shoved a cold bottle in to his chest. He blinked quickly and his vision focused on the thief as she walked backwards across the room. She was giving him a smug, knowing look. He rolled his eyes at her and plopped down on the couch. She set a dextro friendly drink next to Tali, and then made her way to her bed and sprawled our across it.

"If it weren't for you….this would have been the last time that I ever would have gotten to see my home." Tali said quietly, breaking the silence.

"To Shepard!" Kasumi exclaimed while raising her drink.

"To Shepard!" Tali exclaimed while doing the same; all the while, wearing the biggest smile underneath her visor.

"Ahhh come on….It was nothing" Shepard said sheepishly, red slowly creeping across his cheeks.

The two girls noticed his red cheeks and began giggling, which resulted in redder cheeks and even more giggling.

"I have never seen the Great Commander Shepard blush." Kausmi said while trying to catch her breath.

Shepard let out a mixture of a sign and groan while standing to leave.

"We'll stop, we'll stop!" Kasumi said, trying to get him to stay.

He eyed the girls carefully before sitting next to Tali.

"In all seriousness, I can't thank you enough Shepard." Tali said quietly, breaking her stare from the spot where the Fleet was moments ago.

"You have. Besides you don't even need to Tali." Shepard said with a smile.

"I don't think anyone is going to win that argument." Kasumi said before Tali or Shepard could speak.

Shepard opened his mouth to argue, but realized she was right.

*"I think she's got us there." He said with his warm smile….that smile that was just for her.

"I think so too." She said with a small smile.

"I think I'm going to head down and get to work." Tali said while standing.

"Hey..you don't have to do anything today or for the next few days you know. You take as much time as you need." Shepard said gently.

"Thank you, but working will help me. You know, some quiet time to think." She said quietly.

"Alright, just take it easy." Shepard said; voice heavy with concern.

With that she left and made her way to engineering.

"I should get going to. We have a lot to do before we can hit that relay." Shepard said while stretching and making his way to the door.

"You should just tell her." Kasumi said nonchalantly.

He paused at the door and looked at Kasumi. She was wearing her famous mischievous grin. He turned on his heels and walked out of the room. He wanted to go down to see if Tali was really doing okay, but he resisted the urge. She needed a little space after everything that had happened.

He decided to do his rounds to make sure everyone else was fine and to reassure them he would be helping them with their personal matters.

"EDI set a course for the coordinates Jacob gave us. Wake me up when we are an hour out." Shepard said tiredly.

"Right away Commander." The synthetic voice chimed.

The tired Commander made his way to his room for some much needed rest. He collapsed on to his bed and was out the instant his head hit the pillow.

* * *

Tali quietly by her work terminal, everyone else was asleep except for her. Her mind would not allow her to find sleep. She kept replaying the events of the day in her head over and over again. The message, Shepard insisting on taking her to the Fleet, the trial, what happened with the geth, her father, the trial again, Shepard defending her….yelling at the Admiralty Board, the latter bring a smile to her face. The things he had said and the way he had defended her made her heart skip a beat…and made her fall even more in love with him.

She balled her small hands in to fists and slammed them down next to her. She really wished that things were different. She wished it were somehow possible to tell him how she really felt about him.

* * *

He woke in the middle of that dream he had when he was dead..well when Cerberus was rebuilding him. He sighed as he swung his legs over the edge the bed.

"So much for sleep." He grumbled as he made his was to get something to eat.

He rubbed his eyes as he dragged himself in to the kitchen, he didn't notice he was alone until she spoke.

"Shepard….what are you doing up?" Tali asked him, surprised to see him up.

He quickly spun around.

"I could ask you the same thing." He said while blinking to adjust to the change of light.

"Couldn't sleep." She said with a tired sigh.

"Same here." He said with a yawn.

He grabbed a protein bar and sat across from her.

"How are you feeling?" he asked while peeling the wrapper back.

"Honestly?" she asked quietly.

He looked up, now concerned.

"Better than I thought I would be feeling." She said with a small sad smile.

"Good…I know how hard it is to lose family." He said with a small sad smile

She looked down at her folded hands.

"It gets better though. It will hurt less and less, trust me." He added quickly.

"Thanks Shepard." She said softly.

There was a small quiet pause.

"I still can't believe everything that happened today." She said, finally looking up.

"I know." He said gently

"You should try and get some sleep." She said while wringing her hands.

"You should too. It's been a hard day, especially for you." He said while standing.

She stood as well.

"Goodnight Shepard and…..thank you again." She said sincerely.

He wanted to tell her not to thank him, but decided the moment wasn't right to argue with her.

He walked over to her and pulled her in to a hug.

"You're welcome Tali. Goodnight, and be sure to get some rest." He said warmly.

She slowly pulled out of his arms and nodded slowly.

They both went their separate ways to try and find some sleep.

* * *

Shepard, Garrus, and Jacob were standing on Aeia, staring at Jacob's father.

After the horror they had just seen, it was hard to focus on what the man was saying.

"Damn it Shepard! He isn't worth the time or resources it would take to get him out of here. He is lucky I don't think he is worth pulling the fucking trigger!" Jacob shouted while point the gun in his hand at his father.

"I don't know who the hell you are what you expected from me. You're nothing like the man I can remember." Jacob sneered. He looked at his father with complete disdain and disgust.

"We'll have an Alliance ship pick him up and secure him. He'll have plenty of time to think about this." Shepard said coolly.

Jacob walked up to his father until their faces were inches apart.

"For every day spent here, every day you weren't at home…for every life you took and all the lives you ruined. You better damn well think about what you've done to these people." Jacob said coldly, never breaking eye contact.

Shepard put a hand on Jacob's shoulder and pulled him away.

The three left his father standing there in silence.

*The shuttle ride home was fairly quiet.

"I'm sorry about your father Jacob." Shepard said, trying to comfort his teammate.

"It doesn't matter Shepard; him or any of this. It doesn't change who I am or the life I've lived. He can rot in that cell for all I care. I let him go and buried it a long time ago." Jacob said calmly.

"Alright, as long as you're good with this." Shepard said.

"Thank you Commander." Jacob said while extending a hand.

"Don't mention it Taylor." Shepard said while returning the gesture.

* * *

After showering and changing down Shepard made his way to see his favorite engineer. He tried to ignore the way his heart was starting to pick up and the feeling in his gut. He swallowed hard and sighed while stepping out of the elevator.

* * *

She was so busy working away at the drive core, she didn't even hear Shepard come up behind her.

"Hey Tali." He said casually.

The engineer jumped and spun around quickly.

"Keelah, I didn't even hear you!" she exclaimed while placing a hand over her chest.

"Sorry about that." He said with a chuckle.

"How did the mission go?" she asked, her heart finally returning to normal speed.

Shepard let out a deep sigh and leaned against the railing.

"Not too well?" she asked sympathetically.

"It went smoothly, just not what we expected to find. Long story short, his father went on a major power trip and his people ended up paying the price." He said grimly.

"How is Jacob taking all of it?" she asked, tilting her head slightly.

"He let go of his father a long time ago. But in a strange way, this was the closure that he needed." Shepard replied.

"That's good." Tali said slowly.

"Everyone needs closure. I know that I got some with my father when we saw the videos on the ship." She said sadly.

"I know he wasn't that way on purpose. He wanted a better life for me and for my people. I know he cared, he just didn't know how to show it." She said quietly.

"I'm glad that you were able to see that." Shepard said with a small smile.

"I wish I could have gotten that. You know?" he asked, but not looking up.

"Hey..you know he loved you. He just made some bad mistakes…he probably didn't know how to fix it." Tali said gently and gently rubbing his arm.

He smiled at her words.

"Thank you Tali. Like I told you before, I've never trusted anyone enough to talk about that." He said shly.

"You know that I trust you more than anyone right?" he asked seriously.

Under her visor her face was flushing bright red. She looked down at her hands, which in her nervous fashion were wringing away.

He seemed to notice her nervousness and stepped in front of her and placed a hand on each of her shoulders.

"I mean it Tali. I trust you with the air I breathe. I'd even give you the air I breathe! Hell I'd even take a bullet for you. You know that at least right? He asked with a chuckle.

She giggled and finally looked up at him. She was excited, yet nervous about his wonderful words. He didn't understand the significance of them. Her heart began to flutter and race.

"With my people our greatest gesture of trust is linking suits. I've never trust anyone enough for that before, well…no quarians at least…" she said shyly.

"If I were quarian I would gladly link suits with you Tali." He said with his goofy smile

….that smile!

"Oh Keelah….th..wel…uhm…l-linking suits is uh…a gesture of a desire of intimacy… not that I was suggesting…it's not always…" she stammered.

"How did we even end up talking about this?" She asked while looking down

* * *

It was now or never….He took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes.

"Tali….if I were quarian, I would want to link suits with you." He said finally.

"I mean…what I am trying to say Tali is that I care about you…a lot…as in more than just a friend…" he said nervously.

* * *

She stared at him in complete shock and disbelief. This is what she had wanted for so long! It is what she had dreamed about!

"You…you do?" she asked in disbelief?

"But you never…I didn't…" she trailed off.

She was still trying to wrap her mind around what he had just said.

"'Tali I'm sorry. I mean, I should have known better. I mean, you don't feel the same…" he trailed off and broke eye contact.

"Shepard…I do feel the same." She said happily.

"I just..I just never thought you would feel the same. I didn't think anyone would ever see past all of this." She said while gesturing to her suit and helmet.

"You do?" he asked excitedly.

"Of course I do. Dashing commander saves a young woman and lets her join his crew. He treats her with respect and kindness, listens to her ramble on and on for hours? How could she not feel the same?" she asked slyly while taking a small step toward him.

* * *

He couldn't help himself any longer. He reached out and hugged her as tight as he could and swung her around in a circle. She squealed and giggled when he finally stopped. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer to her. He didn't resist. He rested his head on top of her helmet and let out a happy sigh.

She slowly pulled herself away and looked up at him. He was smiling down back at her.

She sighed and looked away. He frowned and leaned closer to her.

"What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"I can't…we can't do this.." she said sadly.

"I can't…you deserve to be happy. You should be with someone that can make you happy. I can't do that…I mean…I'm stuck in this suit…" she said slowly, never looking up at him.

"You should be with someone you can actually see…touch…and kiss whenever you want." She said while turning her back to him.

"Tali…I don't want to be with anyone else. I want to be with you. I don't care about what's underneath. Fuck, I'm grateful for everything you have on. It keeps you alive and well. And I see you, I can see you for you. And if all I get is hugs and holding you like this…" he said while taking her in her arms.

"Then I couldn't be happier." He said reassuringly.

"Do you really mean it?" she asked shakily, on the verge of tears.

"Yes." He whispered back to her.

She sniffled once and looked back up at him.

"Ok." She said

"Ok?" he asked with a cocked brow.

"We can make this work. I..There has to be ways for us to be together. To touch…"she murmured.

He pulled out from their embrace.

"Tali I am not going to do anything to risk your health." He said firmly.

"There's ways…I want to be able to touch you..really touch you. I want you to show you my face…" She said while touching his cheek with her gloved hand.

"I'm serious. I don't want you hurt or sick or…."he trailed off. His eyes were heavy with worry.

"There's ways for this to work. There are precautions I can take. It'll take time…but it will work." She said firmly.

He looked at her carefully before speaking.

"There has to be things I can do too right?" he asked.

"Yes but-" she was stopped.

"No buts. If this is happening, you're not the only one that is going to take precautions." He interrupted.

* * *

She could tell there was no arguing with him. She was still in shock that she was even having this conversation with him! She could not believe he actually felt the same way about her…she really hoped that this wasn't some cruel dream.

She looked at him and chuckled.

"What?" he asked with that smile that was just for her.

"Just you." She said happily.

He leaned in and wrapped his arms around her and spun her around again. She squealed and laughed.

"What was that for?" she asked while giggling.

He let out a content sigh.

"Being you." He said happily.

She blushed under visor and started twisting her hands.

"So..now what?" she asked.

The whole dating concept was completely new to her, and she was really not sure what to do next.

"Well how about a date?" he asked with a goofy smile.

"A date?" she asked.

"Ya, a date. I mean normally you'd go somewhere or do something, but seeing as we are a long ways from a planet….how about dinner and a movie in my cabin?" he asked nervously.

"I would really like that." She replied happily.

"Pick you up at 2000 hours?" he asked jokingly.

She looked at him and tilted her head.

"Sorry….human joke." He said with a chuckle.

She shook her head at him.

"See you at 2000 hours?" he asked

"See you then." She replied happily.


	16. Breathless

Long time since an update and I apologize for that! I have been working on a side project which I decided needs to wait until this is complete. I have also decided that I am going to make this in to a multiple part story! So after this one is complete, I will take a short break to work on a different story and then finish this one. For future updates I am going to make a personal goal to write a page a night to give more frequent updates. Again I am so very sorry for the long delay.

* * *

He was really nervous, but more excited than anything. He was going to have a date with Tali! He still could not believe that she actually felt the same way about him. He knew things were going to be difficult, but it honestly did not matter to him. She is more than worth the trouble.

He purposely chose a meal for himself that he hoped wouldn't make Tali self-conscience about being in her suit. He had a select variety of fancier and tastier nutrient pastes that she could choose from.

After messing with his hair for the final time, he checked everything again, for what seemed like the hundredth time. He still had left over dextral friendly foods from the past times that they had hung out together. He set up a table for two in front of the fish tank in his cabin, and the lights were slightly dimmer than normal. Everything looked to be perfect.

* * *

She was really nervous about her date with Shepard. She was not too sure about the human tradition so she did research on the extranet. From what she read it seemed like a time were people just got to know each other better, nothing too serious.

She was still in shock that he told her how he felt about her….and it was the same way she felt about him. She could not be any happier about that.

The small beep from omni tool reminded her of the time. She cleaned herself up and made her way to the elevator.

The door swished open and she slowly stepped out. She stood in front of the door to his cabin nervously and began wringing her hands. She took a deep breath and stepped forward once again and the door to his cabin swooshed open.

*He had just placed all the food on the table when the sound of the door opening caught his attention.

"Hey Tali!" he exclaimed happily.

"Hello Shepard." She said nervously.

"Come on, you can call me by my first name." he said with a grin.

"Hello….Victor." she said while smiling under her visor.

He smiled at her before continuing.

"Alright so I have a variety for you to choose from." He said while gesturing to the table by the tank.

She slowly stepped forward and looked at the many tubes in front of her.

"And don't feel like you have to pick just one either. Try them all if you want." He added before she could object to any of it.

* * *

She turned back to face and opened her mouth to speak but closed it when she saw the look on his face. She knew arguing with him would just be pointless at that point.

She was amazed at how the cabin looked. He had truly outdone himself. The lights were lower, and there was a nicely set table by the aquarium. It made her forget where they were for a moment. He went through so much trouble just to make it look nice. He did all of that just for her. At that thought her heart skipped a beat and her cheeks began to burn.

*He pulled out a chair for her and she took a seat as he pushed her in. He then sat on the side across from her.

"So, I tried to do some research on how quarian dating went. There wasn't too much, but it seemed pretty similar to how human dating worked." He said shyly.

"Really?" she asked with a small chuckle.

"I did research on how human dating went. There was more than enough information on it, and yes, the two do seen pretty similar." She said while smiling.

He let out a sigh of relief.

"Ok good, I just wanted to make this as fun and comfortable for you as I could." He said with a smile.

"Plus…I am not so good at this sort of thing. So it's kind of new to me." He admitted slowly.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about Sh..Victor. I am new to this too, this date is actually my first one…" she admitted while looking down.

"Hey…with the kind of lives we lead, it's no wonder right?" he asked while reaching across the table for her free hand.

"We'll figure this out together." He said warmly.

The two ate the rest of the meal, talking the whole time.

* * *

After they finished eating Shepard cleaned off the table while Tali made her way to his sofa. While he cleaned, Tali browsed through the movies that were laid out. She insisted on helping him, but he politely declined the offer several times. By the time he was finished, Tali had selected a movie for them to watch. He wished he could have done more to make it more special and date like, but he had done the best with what he had.

The two sat next to one another, but this time closer than they had previous times on the same couch. He smiled at the selection, a romantic comedy about an asari and krogan.

About half way through the movie, Shepard did the classic and lame yawn and stretch. Tali was surprised by the contact looked at him immediately after. He was afraid he had over stepped and went to pull his arm back, but a small gloved hand grabbed his own hand and kept it in place. She leaned in closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. Almost simultaneously they both let out quiet, small sighs of content.

After the movie had ended, they both agreed on watching another movie. Neither could decide so they picked one randomly from the pile. Neither one of them were really paying much attention to the movie because they were talking the whole time.

"I just wish that my people could actually go to our home world." She said with frustration.

"Hey, things change. The whole problem with the geth will get sorted out and things will change. But before any of that happens your Admiralty Board needs a good kick in the teeth." He said while rubbing the side of his face with his free hand.

She let out a snort and then a sigh.

"I just hope it happens in my life time." She said sadly.

"It'll happen, just you wait." He said while kissing the side of her helmet.

She slowly leaned up and looked at him.

"I'm sorry if that was-" he stopped talking when she put her hand up.

She sighed sadly and stood up.

"I should go.." she said while walking toward the stairs.

"Hey, what's going on?" he asked worriedly.

"Like I was trying to say, I'm sorry if that-"she cut him off again.

"Shepard we can't do this." She said while avoiding eye contact.

The words hit him hard. He winced a little, but kept staring at her, waiting for his answer.

"I mean….you deserve to be with someone that can make you happy…" she said quietly.

"Tali you do make me happy! Happier than anyone ever has or anyone ever will. I don't want to be with anybody else." He pleaded.

"You should be with someone that you can actually see…touch and feel….kiss…" she trailed off.

"Tali I do see you. I see past all of this." He said while gesturing to her suit and helmet.

"I see you for who you are. And I can touch you…"he said while stepping forward and wrapping his arms around her.

His voice was softer and quieter now.

"As for the rest, I told you I would be perfectly fine with hugs and this. But, I'd wait forever for you." He murmured.

"I don't want you to resent or regret this decision. "she said while finally looking up at him.

"How could I ever regret being with you? Even resent it?" he asked softly.

"Are you sure about this…about us?" she asked nervously.

"Beyond sure Tali." he said seriously while pulling her in to a hug.

"Ok." She said tentatively.

"Ok?" he asked while leaning back.

* * *

She only nodded because she could not speak. She was overwhelmed by the warm feeling that had crept over her. He was fighting for her to stay..she could not believe he felt that way. Tears of joy ran down her cheeks.

After a minute of silent hugging she had composed herself enough. She slowly pulled out of the hug, but took his hands and started playing with them.

"So…can we get back to the movie?" she asked nervously.

"Of course!" he exclaimed with that big goofy smile spread across his face.

The two made their way back on the sofa and snuggled up once more. After a few minutes of watching the movie again, the two were interrupted by EDI.

"Commander, Kasumi and Garrus are on route to your cabin." The synthetic voice chimed.

The two sighed in unison.

"That was nice while it lasted." Tali said sadly.

"Hey." Shepard started, while taking Tali's hands.

"We don't have to hide anything." He offered.

"Well…I..I…I'm not sure. I mean the…there are-" she started stammering nervously.

"Or not, Tali it's up to you. Whatever you want to do is fine by me. We're taking this slow." He said while giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Thank you Victor, I just-" she stopped midsentence when the door to his cabin swished open.

The two slid away from one another.

"Sneaking off to have fun without us again Shepard?" Garrus mocked.

"Oh well you know… we can only take so much of that ugly face of yours." Shepard teased while leaning forward to grab his drink off the small table.

"So Shep, you got anything fun to drink?" Kasumi asked while plopping down on one free couch.

"Ya, I got a small stash in my mini fridge over there." He said while motioning to far end of the room.

"Got some turian brandy too and some filtered stuff too." He added while gently nudging Tali with his shoulder.

"Drinks for all then?" Garrus asked while making his way to the small fridge.

"Drinks all around!" Kasumi exclaimed.

Shepard and Tali exchanged a glance, but neither argued,

After a brief moment Garrus returned with drinks in talons. He handed the drinks out and took a seat next to Kasumi.

Everyone started drinking except for Tali.

"What's wrong? Can't handle your liquor?" Garrus teased.

"Well…It's just…I'm worried it's not filtered." Tali said nervously.

"Comeee onnnn drink up. What's the worst that can happen?" Garrus asked.

"Garrus." Shepard warned.

The two men shared brief eye contact.

Garrus broke eye contact first.

"Sorry Tali, I was just playing." He said before taking a swig of her his turian whiskey.

"It's fine." Tali said unsurely.

"It's sterilized Tali. I had Mordin sterilize the stuff I got for you." Shepard assured.

"Thank you." Tali said happily.

She then produced a small straw and inserted it in her helmet and tentatively began to drink.

The other three smiled and got back to their own drinks.

* * *

After much drinking the conversations get a little strange..

She had stretched one arm over the back of the couch and Tali moved slightly closer to Shepard.

"My father wasss a strong man. Took care of us all righttt." Garrus slurred.

"At least you still have yours. And your mother too!" Tali chimed in.

"Yaaa losing a parent is tough." Shepard said with a sigh.

"Which one?" Kasumi asked.

"My dad. Still have my mom." Shepard said while taking a sip of his beer.

"You should tell her you loveee her." Garrus slurred

"I actually haven't talked to her since…..you know." Shepard said sheepishly.

"What?" The two girls questioned in unison.

"OOooooooo you in trouble." Garrus said while laughing.

Shepard glared at him.

"You haven't talked to her yet?" Tali asked.

"No." Shepard said before taking a deep swig of his beer.

"Victor you have to talk to her. She needs to hear from you!" Tali exclaimed while looking at him.

"Victor?" Garrus asked

"Sorry..I I I…"she stammered.

"Don't apologize." He said warmly too Tali.

"Garrus, drop it." Shepard said firmly.

Garrus looked over to Kasumi for support, but she shook her head at him. The turian let out a heavy sigh and decided to drop the matter.

"Well it is getting pretty late; I think I am going to head down." Kasumi said lightly.

"Walk me down Garrus?" the thief asked while giving him a look.

The oblivious turian didn't understand why he was getting "the look" but knew better than to argue with her.

"Sure. See you two later." He said while standing to leave.

The two walked out of the cabin, and Tali and Shepard were alone again.

"I'm sorry about the slip up." Tali said quietly.

"Hey, you have nothing to be sorry for Tali." He said while sitting up from the couch.

"It's unprofessional…."she trailed off. She looked down and began playing with her hands.

"Tali." He said seriously while taking Tali's hands in his. He turned to face her.

"Tali you can call me whatever you want in front of whoever you want. Look." He paused while pulling her in closer.

She let him pull her in and snuggled in close to him.

"I really care about you Tali, and I'm perfectly fine with everyone knowing about us." He said while rubbing her back reassuringly.

"I just don't want people to look at you badly. I..I mean I am used to the way I'm treated because I'm quarian, but you're human….if you're with me in… that way well….this…people are going to treat you….differently…look at you differently…"she stammered.

"Tali I don't care what people think or do. I don't care if we get looks or comments about us. I just want to be with you." He said firmly.

"But Shepard-"

He interrupted her by taking her hands and bringing them up to my lips.

She pressed her fingers to her voice modulator, and then brought them to his lips. He immediately understood the meaning of what she had done. He put his fingers to his lips, and then placed them on her voice modulator. The two snuggled together in to a comfortable silence until they both drifted off to sleep.


	17. The Art Of Staying Alive

So sorry for the huge lag!

* * *

The movie had long ended and it was silent in the cabin. Shepard slowly opened his eyes, and felt a soft but warm eight on his chest. He was in a reclined position with Tali snuggled in to his chest. He smiled at the sleeping quarian, and did his best not to move. He could not remember the last time that he had been this happy. Sure, this relationship was going to be more difficult than any other he had ever had before, but she was worth it. He wished things were different though, so their relationship could be more normal. No suicide mission, no collectors, no reapers….He let out a small sigh and tried to push those ugly thoughts from his mind, and instead focus on what was currently in front of him. He looked down at the sleeping woman and smiled again.

* * *

She was warm and comfortable…which was odd. The sleeper pods were neither of those. She slowly adjusted her hand and could now feel a strong, steady heartbeat. The events of last night came back to her, and she remembered where she was. A smile spread across her face and she snuggled back in to him.

"Morning." Shepard said happily.

"Good morning. I didn't wake you did?" she asked while repositioning herself.

"Nah, I've been up for a little bit. I didn't want to wake you."

"Thank you" she said while smiling underneath her visor.

"Are we ever going to have some time together where those two don't interrupt us?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Doubt it." She giggled.

"I think they need to see what's in front of them." She said while yawning.

"Took us long enough too." he joked.

"Did you get enough sleep?" he asked while rubbing his hand along her arm.

"Actually, I don't think I've ever slept better." She said flirtatiously.

"Oh?" he asked mischievously and wrapping his arms around her sides.

"Actually….."She paused dramatically.

"Oh I see how it is" he said while tickling her sides.

She squirmed and squealed in his arms.

"Okay okay." She said while gasping for air.

"Well, I can say the same. Never slept so well, or woken up so well." He said warmly.

She was now sitting in his lap.

She placed a hand on the side of his face and looked in his eyes.

"Do you mean it?" she asked nervously.

"Oh course I do." He replied in a more serious tone.

She ran her slim fingers down the side of his face. He gently took her hand in his and brought it to his lips and slowly kissed it.

She looked down to avoid his gaze. Underneath her visor she was blushing.

He let out a small chuckle.

"What?" she asked.

"You're cute." He said with his goofy smile.

"What do you mean?" she asked, now looking back at him.

"The way you get when you're nervous or excited, even happy." He said while smiling at her.

She tilted her head at him.

"I've known you for a long time Tali, and you've been my best friend for so long…and now more. I pay attention. The way you look down or play with your hands when you're nervous. Or when you get excited you bounce on your toes and talk so fast.. When you're happy how your eyes light up and I can hear the smile in your voice.." he trailed off.

"Victor I…."she started.

He brought his fingers from his lips to her modulator.

EDI's synthetic voice chimed in and filled the cabin.

"Commander we are an hour out from Tuchanka."

"Thanks EDI"

The two let out a sigh.

"Wanna go down? I'm thinking of taking more people than usual."

She stretched and nodded her head.

"Let's grab something to eat before briefing and gearing up"

He stood and stretched out, but Tali stayed where she was.

"You okay?"

"Y..yes…it's just that-"

She stammered

"What will the crew say?"

He let out a small sigh and sat back down while taking her hands in his.

"Look, I keep telling you this, it doesn't matter what they think or say about us. It doesn't matter what anyone says or does for that matter. I care about you Tali. But if it bothers you, just tell them the truth. We were watching a vid and we both fell asleep. I'll back you up either way."

* * *

He gently pulled away from Tali and made his way in to the bathroom. He washed his face off and stood in front of the sink with his eyes closed. He had a sinking feeling that this was not going to be the end of this discussion. He rolled his neck and stretched out his back. When he opened his eyes, he saw Tali staring back at him through the reflection in the mirror.

"Ready for some food? I just need to throw on a clean shirt." He said while turning around to face her.

"You're not upset are you?" she asked slowly

"What? Of course not."

He closed the distance between them until they were an inch apart.

* * *

Her breath hitched and her hands reached for each other for comfort, but were covered by a larger pair of hands. She slowly looked up until their eyes met. She could feel her heart pounding, waiting for it to pound out of her chest.

She took her hands out of his and wrapped them around his waist and leaned in to his chest. He followed suit and wrapped her arms around her.

"I'm fine with however you want to handle it. If you want to tell them now, I'm happy to, if you want to wait, that's fine too alright?"

"Okay…for now can we just tell them we fell asleep?"

"Your wish is my command." He said with a wink.

* * *

They made their way down to get some food before the big mission. They sat across from Kasumi and Garrus who were now about halfway through their own meals.

"There is no way you could have pulled something like that off!" Garrus challenged while spitting food out in the process.

Tali and Shepard exchanged a glance.

"I'm craftier than you think; who you think took all your credit chits?"

Kasumi asked with a sly grin and waving the chits in front him.

He patted down his pockets and glared at the woman beside him, mandibles flaring. He lunged to snatch them back from her, but she was too quick for him. She disappeared and laughed as she ran down the hall. Garrus followed her, yelling the whole time.

Shepard shook his head and turned his focus back to the food in front of him. Tali carefully inserted the tube so she could eat. The two began talking about the missions they were going to do planet side.

* * *

Chambers thought now was the time to make another move on the commander. _I mean why not right? She had read file after file on the commander and had been carefully observing him. Things with that Ashley, were over. He must be lonely and hurt. Who better to comfort him than her? She was young and attractive. _

"Hey commander!" she said cheerily as she approached the two.

"Ah geez" he murmured to Tali.

She ran her hand down his back and kept there as she sat next to him. This forced him and Tali to move down.

"How have you been feeling lately?" she asked while leaning in to him.

* * *

He could feel Tali immediately tense beside him. This was a bad situation that needed to be fixed and fast.

He cleared his through and leaned away. He reached his hand out for Tali's and gave it a squeeze, trying to send Tali a signal for help.

"Fine actually….thank you."

Kelly moved her hand from his back to his thigh.

"Well, if you ever do need to talk, you know where to find me." She whispered in his ear while rubbing his leg.

"I think I'm good."

She stood and left the two. Tali removed his hand from hers.

Kasumi and Garrus had approached to see the end of the exchange.

"That was weird." Garrus said while sitting down.

"What was that about?" Kasumi asked while stuffing food in to her mouth.

"I don't even want to know." Shepard said while continuing with his meal.

"Don't be coy Shepard, she was flirting with you." Tali said

Garrus immediately found a spot on the table very interesting.

"Subtle isn't she?" Kasumi snorted.

"That was awkward." Shepard said with a mouthful of food.

When Tali didn't respond Shepard sighed internally. Garrus and Kasumi exchanged a glance.

Shepard cleared his throat.

"Tali, could you help me check the shield on my armor?" Shepard asked while clearing his tray.

She didn't respond but instead followed him to the elevator.

While walking to the elevator he messaged the other crew members he wanted for the missions to get ready.

Once in the elevator Shepard turned to Tali.

"Are you mad? I mean.."

She turned away and sighed.

Shepard stepped forward and slammed the button on the side of the elevator. They stopped mid floor.

"Tali…."

"Shhhhh. I know Shepard."

He looked at her, waiting for her to continue.

"I know you wanted to tell her when she was…flirting. I know. The first thing you did was grab my hand." Tali said happily.

He let out a sigh of relief.

"When she was all over like that I even wanted to say something myself…it was hard to have to stay quiet."

"You know I wanted to tell her, I really did. But I didn't want to go against what you said…..but I want her and everyone else to know, there is only one girl for me." He said while closing the distance.

"Well…I just need a little more time….if that's alright."

"As long as it takes" he said while wrapping his arms around her.

She giggled and reached for the button to resume the elevator ride.

* * *

Mordin, Garrus, Tali, and Shepard were geared up and ready to find Maelon.

"What do you want human?" grunted the krogan by the landing pad.

"We are here to find Dr. Maelon." Shepard replied calmly.

"For your own good you better speak with the clan leader."

"Where can we find him?"  
The krogan gestured in the direction with his head.

The group made their way through the barren land of destruction.

"What a shame." Garrus said quietly.

"I knew things here were bad, but I had no idea it would be like this." Shepard trailed off.

The group fell in to a silence.

When they approached the leader he was in deep conversation. Shepard motioned for the others to stand back and wait for him. Shepard carefully eyed the guard standing in front of him and attempted to pass but was stopped.

"Wait til your called human." He growled.

Thinking it wasn't worth the fight, he was ready to stand back and wait.

"Shepard! I knew death couldn't keep you down!" Wrex bellowed.

"Wrex?! What are you doing here?!" Shepard asked while extending a hand.

The krogan ignored the hand and pulled him in for a bear hug,

"After fighting side by side with you, I decided it was time for me to step up and help my people. I was inspired by your spirit and sacrifice." He said while setting the human back down.

"What are you doing here?" Wrex asked while stepping back.

"Long story short we are looking for a Salarian name Maelon." He said while inhaling the air that had been squeezed out of him.

"Ahh well for that you are going to need to speak my chief scout over there for that. Tell him I gave the okay for you to take whatever you need." He said while pointing them in the direction.

"Thanks Wrex, we'll be back soon." Shepard said while extending his hand.

This time the krogan took it and shook it.

* * *

Garrus decided to drive the truck while Mordin sat in front to help navigate. That left Tali and Shepard alone in the back.

"Guess safety isn't a big concern for krogans." Tali said flatly when realizing there was no seatbelts in the back of the truck.

"I don't think they need it." Shepard joked.

That got a small giggle from the woman.

The engine roared to life and the bumpy ride began.

"Geez Garrus are you trying to drive over all the bumps and rocks?" Tali griped.

This caused Garrus to swerve a hard left and send Tali flying in to Shepard.

"Ooof! Sorry Shepard." Tali said while she sat up again.

He reached his arm over and pulled her in closer to him.

"I got you." He murmured.

She looked up and him and complied.

With Shepard holding her, the ride wasn't as bumpy as before, but unfortunately for her the ride ended shortly after.

Shepard got out first and extended his hand to help her out, which she gladly took as she hoped out.

"Thank you"

He smiled and nodded to her.

* * *

The battle through the abandoned hospital was far from easy, but when was anything they ever did easy.

"Why are all of these krogan here?" Garrus asked while lifting a sheet that was covering a dead one.

Mordin stepped up and ran a scan over the dead krogan.

"It doesn't make sense; it looks like Maelon was trying to find a cure." Mordin said while punching commands in to his omni tool.

"But why would they capture him if he was trying to cure it?" Garrus asked.

"To force him to do it maybe?" Tali replied.

"Only one way to find out. Come on let's keep going. " Shepard said while gesturing for the group to follow.

They heard a sound come from one of the closed doors. Shepard gestured for everyone ready themselves and follow close. Tali approached the door and over rode the commands, she looked to Shepard who nodded. She hit the final command and the door swished open.

They shone their lights in to reveal a krogan curled in the corner.

"Are you the missing scout? " Shepard asked while cautiously approaching.

"I came to see what was happening here, and I wanted to help the clan. And since I am not big enough for any of the krogan women, I thought this would be my best chance." The krogan paused.

"But the things they did….I saw…"he trailed off.

Shepard looked the krogan over and noticed he was injured. He knew just how to handle the krogan.

"This is pitiful." He said while shaking his head.

The krogan glared up at Shepard.

"You don't know what it was like!" he growled.

"If you really want to help your people, your clan, you'd get back out there! It would take a bad ass to get back to camp while injured…."

"I can do it!" the krogan interrupted.

"You?" Shepard laughed.

"I said a badass! Not some whinny scout acting like a quarian with a tummy ache." Shepard mocked.

"Hey! I'm standing right here!" Tali yelled.

Garrus couldn't hold in the laugh, and got a jab in the ribs from Tali.

"I can do it!" the krogan bellowed while standing up.

"Hell ya you are!" Shepard cheered.

The krogan roared and pushed past the group behind Shepard.

They group looked at Shepard in disbelief.

"I can't believe that worked either." Shepard said with a small chuckle.

"Sorry about the….you know." He said sheepishly.

"Mhmmmmm." She replied and walked past him.

"You in trouble." Garrus joked.

Shepard rolled his eyes and the group continued on.

* * *

The group wandered in to a large room with a catwalk filled with krogans.

The krogan in the center of the group stepped forward and began his monologue. After a few minutes of the rambling, Shepard noticed what the krogans were standing above. He looked over to Tali, who had noticed what had captured his attention. He raised a brow to her and she nodded in return. The commander took aim and fired.

"HA! He can't even hit a simple target!" the krogan laughed.

The human simply smirked at the krogan and took aim again. It wasn't until the krogan heard the hissing of the gas, that he realized the human had hit his mark. The group dove in to cover as Shepard fired once again. He rolled in to cover next to Tali just as the fire ball engulfed the catwalk. He reached over and did his best to cover her from the flames that surrounded them. After a minute he let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

He leaned out of cover and the room was silent.

"That was larger than expected." Mordin chimed.

"I think we're almost there." Shepard said while standing. He extended a hand out to Tali and helped her to her feet.

Mordin and Garrus walked ahead of the two.

She didn't let go of his hand immediately, she allowed the contact to linger. When she noticed the other two had stopped walking, she slowly released his hand and they continued on their way.

* * *

The three watched the exchange between Mordin and Maelon at a close but careful distance. He hadn't been captured at all, but instead was trying help with krogan reproduction and the genophage. He could tell Mordin was having a battle with his inner self and was unsure of him-self. Shepard wasn't so much paying attention to dialogue as the body language. When he saw Mordin reach for his gun, he decided it was finally time for him to step in.

"You're not a murder Mordin. You don't have to do this." Shepard said while putting a firm hand on the man's shoulder.

He slowly lowered his weapon and sighed.

"Go before we change our mind." Shepard growled.

The salarian didn't have to be told twice.

"Thank you Shepard." Mordin said while stepping forward to save the data to his omni tool.

"What are you doing?" Shepard questioned while stepping forward.

"I'm taking the data. Wouldn't want it to fall in to the wrong hands. Going to wipe it from this hard drive." The salarian replied.

He wasn't sure that anyone should have the data. It should just be wiped clean….but it was Mordin after all and he trusted him.

"Let's get out of here. I think we've dealt with enough krogan for the day." Shepard said while rolling his shoulders.

"Don't forget we still have to figure out what's wrong with Grunt boss." Garrus added.

"Ahh crap. Well we can handle that one tomorrow. We gotta get some rest before we deal with that one." He said with a sigh.

"Let's get back to the ship."

The four made their way back to the truck and back to the village.


	18. Whispers In The Dark

Hey! Trying to better about my updates, sorry again for the huge lag last time. So I am still in search of a beta, so I apologize for the typos and grammatical errors. If anyone is interested or knows of someone who would be please let me know! I am so happy and thankful for all of the favorites and follows; it really motivates me to keep on going! Feedback is always appreciated and welcomed!

* * *

The shuttle ride back to the Normandy was fairly quiet. The group wanted to leave Mordin with his thoughts; it had been a rough day for him. They all waited for the decontamination cycle before going their separate ways. It was late, and mostly everyone was asleep already. Shepard sighed, another long mission was ahead of them tomorrow, and who knew what they were facing. Shepard made his way to get something to eat before he went up to his cabin. He heard soft footsteps behind him.

"Hey Tali." He said while searching the fridge for something to eat.

"You weren't even look!" she giggled.

He smiled at that. He grabbed a fruit drink and began searching the cabinets. He settled on a granola bar and turned around to face Tali. She hadn't said anything in a while.

"Everything okay?" he asked with a slight tilt of his head.

"Y-yes…I just…wanted to see you…I wasn't sure if you were up..EDI said you weren't in your cabin so…." she trailed off nervously before looking down.

He smiled and set his snacks down on the counter and closed this distance between them. He noticed how she immediately began to fidget and play with her hands.

He gently took her hands in his and she began to play with his. It took her a minute before she was able to look up at Shepard. She found a warm patient smile waiting for her.

"There you two are!" Kasumi chimed before bouncing in the room.

She came to a dead halt when she saw how the two were positioned.

"Oooooh I'll catch up with you two later." She said while hiding a knowing smile.

Shepard could feel Tali tense. He let out a small sigh.

"It's all good Kasumi, she was just checking out a burn on my hand. I was sloppy today down there." He lied while Tali pulled her hands away.

"Oh okay." Kasumi said slowly.

"Well Garrus and I are going to watch a vid in my room and wanted to see if you two would like to join us." Kasumi said while eying the two.

"Oh that sounds like fun!" Kasumi said while clasping her hands together.

"I'm gonna pass guys. I'm going to head up and get some sleep, another big mission tomorrow." He said while picking up his snacks from the counter.

"Oh, well night Shep! Come on Tali." Kasumi said as she made her way down the hall.

"Have fun. Night Kasumi, night Tali." He said with a brief nod before making his way to the elevator.

* * *

She saw the hurt in his eyes as she pulled her hands away from him. She knew he was willing to tell people about them, he even seemed eager too. But she was afraid to because of how others would react, but she wasn't worried for her sake. She was concerned about how people would treat him. She let out a heavy sigh and followed the thief down the hall.

She made herself comfortable on the couch. She was barely paying attention to the movie; her thoughts were on what had just happened between her and Shepard. She looked over to see that Garrus and Kasumi were passed out. Kasumi was snuggled in to Garrus. She let out a small giggle before leaving the room as quietly as she could. She wasn't really sure what she was doing, something in her was just moving forward. She stepped in the elevator and as soon as the doors closed, and she began moving up her heart started pounding in her chest.

She had no idea what she was doing or how he was going to react to this…

* * *

He was lying on the couch playing with his omni tool. He was tired, but his mind wouldn't let him sleep. He let out a deep sigh. He was trying to be patient and understanding with Tali but it was taking a small toll on him. He wanted to tell and show everyone how he felt about her, but she wanted to keep it a big secret. She told him why yes, but still. He scrunched his face together and let out another sigh. He wondered if they were still watching the vid….it was late though, they were probably all asleep.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a soft clicking sound, and then his door swished open. He was shocked but not surprised by the interruption. He assumed it had been Kasumi, but was surprised when Kelly Chambers made her way in to his quarters.

"Kelly? What are you doing up here? Everything ok?" he asked while standing.

"Yes, everything is fine. I was just checking with EDI and she informed me that everyone that should be asleep was, except for you." She stated while making her way in to his cabin.

"Uhmmm." He was really unsure what to say or do at this point.

She made her way farther in the cabin, and was now stepping down the stairs.

"I just wanted to make sure that everything was ok." she paused.

"How have you been sleeping?" she asked

He raised a brow to the women.

"Fine…." He said while trying to figure out the woman's agenda.

"Really?" she asked sharply.

"Because according to EDI you have been having irregular sleeping patterns." She said matter of factly, while one hand on her hip.

"Look-" he was interrupted by the swishing of the door to his cabin, yet again.

"Tali!" Shepard breathed, clearly relieved.

"Shepard I….." she stammered. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Kelly.

"Tali, what are you doing here?" Kelly asked with a forced smile.

Tali felt something inside of her click.

"I could ask you the same thing." Tali replied coolly.

Shepard took a deep breath and eyed the women carefully, but instinctively stepped closer to Tali. He could feel the tension growing.

"Well! I am getting tired." He said while fake yawning.

"Thanks for the talk Chambers…Tali could I speak to you before you head back down?"

"Goodnight Commander….Tali." Chambers said coolly as she turned on her heals to leave.

Shepard sighed with relief when the door closed.

"Bosh 'tet." Tali mumbled.

"I had no idea she was going to come up here. I was just playing with my omni tool when she barged in here." Shepard said while trying to figure out what just happened.

"She was trying to…-" Her hands were together, fidgeting in their normal nervous demeanor.

"I….I'm sorry I keep…pushing you to hide this. I-I didn't think it…I didn't think it really bothered you until I saw your face when Kasumi walked in….." she paused.

He was surprised and confused by what was happening.

"I only wanted to protect you from how…from how people would react….like I said, I'm used to it….but…I..I just didn't want you to have to go through that…."she said sadly while hanging her head.

"Tali." He began while approaching her.

"Who cares what anyone says or does about it? If they have a problem with us being together, then fuck them. Who cares what they think? I only care about what you think." He said firmly while wrapping his arms around her.

"Are…are you sure?" she asked nervously.

"Of course Tali! I want to scream it from the rooftops that I am the luckiest guy in the galaxy to have someone like you!" he said while squeezing her tight and spinning her around.

She giggled and wrapped her arms around him and squeezed.

"Okay," she murmured in to him before pulling away from him.

"Okay?" he asked while tilting his head.

"I want to tell people about us." She said with conviction.

"Are you sure?" he asked with a smile spreading across his face. He gently took her hands in his and gave them a gentle squeeze.

Seeing him so happy made her even happier.

"Yes!" she said while giggling.

He pulled her hands to his face, and leaned in to them as she cupped the sides of his face.

He planted kisses on the palm of her hand before finally resting his face in her hands. She looked up to him with glowing eyes, and his smile grew even bigger.

This caused the women to blush. She took a deep breath before she spoke again, she was nervous to ask what she wanted. But the worst thing that could happen was he said no….so…

"Victor….I..I was wondering if….maybe….." she said while fidgeting.

He raised a brow at the women and tried to figure out what she was trying to ask. It hit him pretty quick. He had a sly smile on his face. She slowly pulled her hands down and away from him, he watched as her hands wring nervously, it was very endearing.

"Tali would you like to sleep up here?" he asked to end the woman's suffering.

"I'd love too." She said while her cheeks burned.

He gently led her past the couch and to his bed. They both got underneath the blankets. He wasn't sure with what she would be comfortable, so he let her take the lead.

* * *

She had watched vids and seen how couples slept…they weren't exactly a normal couple but…

She snuggled her face in to his chest and felt strong arms wrap around her. Feeling him hesitate she took his hand in hers as they both settled in.

"Goodnight Tali." He murmured, voice taking on a slight slur.

"Goodnight Victor."

She smiled as she slowly drifted off to a blissful, deep sleep.

* * *

Shepard was going to take Garrus and Grunt, but Tali and Kasumi would not stop pestering him until he agreed to let them come along.

"I thought we were going to keep simple Shepard." Grunt mumbled.

Shepard raised a brow to him.

"You tell them no." Shepard said with a chuckle.

Garrus and Grunt both grinned at that comment.

The shuttle landed at the same place as the day before. The group made their way past the guards to speak with Wrex, who then turned them over to speak with Shaman.

The Shaman explained what was going on with Grunt and how the rite of passage. He then sent the group on their way to battle.

* * *

The waves were uneventful and quite easy.

Shepard felt the familiar tremble of the ground, and the familiar screech of a roar, and instantly knew that the group was in trouble. Images of his past encounter with a Thresher Maw flash flashed before his eyes. His hands began to tremble, and his face paled.

"Take cover!" He shouted as he rolled behind debris.

Tali crouched beside him and looked over at Shepard. She noticed his shaky hands and pale face and began to worry.

"Are you alright?" she asked while reaching for him.

He did his best to steady his hands as he reached to meet her hand half way.

"I'm fine." He said as he forced a reassuring smile.

She didn't buy it for a minute, but she decided to let it go. She slowly rolled out a cover and began to fire.

The sounds of shouting and gunfire seemed muffled in his ears, as the world in present day began to blur and fade in to the past.

The darkness from being inside of the maw….and the smell. The texture of its insides as he forced the blade through the horrible creature.

He remembered watching people dying and not being able to do anything about it.

"Shepard….Shepard….Shepard!" Kasumi shouted as she tugged at his arm.

He blinked and his world came crashing back in to reality.

"Sorry." He muttered as he began reloading his gun.

Garrus was not far behind and exchanged a quick glance with Kasumi. They knew that something was going on with Shepard and it wasn't good.

Shepard rolled out of cover and moved to a closer vantage point. Grunt was already ridiculously close roaring and firing away like a fearless maniac. Garrus was not too far in front of Kasumi; he would periodically peek back to her location to make sure she was holding up ok. Tali was not far behind Shepard. She knew something was wrong and didn't want him to do anything drastic and stupid.

He had to stay focus, he couldn't let memories of the past affect him, especially now. He pushed thoughts of the past out of his head and took cover again to reload. He run and rolled in to cover to a closer location. Tali still worried about him, was not far behind him. They were really close now, but still not as close as Grunt was.

"Do you think that it's really smart for us to be this close Shepard?" Tali shouted over the wave of gunfire.

"We need to take this thing out as fast as we can." He replied while ducking back in to cover next to Tali.

"You don't need to be this close. Grunt can hold his own up here." She shot back.

"Grunt will get himself killed." Shepard replied while getting ready to get out of cover.

"You'll get yourself killed!" Tali shouted while pulling him back down.

He looked at the small woman and let out a sigh. He wanted to speak but the roar of the maw and the sound of gunfire.

"This isn't the place to talk about this." He replied while attempting to get out of cover again.

"Then let's go to a place to talk about this." She snapped while pulling him down again.

He was trying to remain calm and keep his patience.

Kasumi appeared beside the two with no warning.

"Keelah Kasumi!" Tali shouted while placing a hand over her heart.

"You two can finish that conversation back there, we can handle things up here." She said while motioning for them to move back.

"Alright, alright." He said while lifting his hands in surrender.

The three hadn't really noticed the roaring of the maw had gotten closer to them.

Shepard was the first one to stand to fall back. The maw was now dangerously close to where the group was. When he stood to move back he stopped where he was, frozen with fear. Sweat started pouring down his neck, his knees began to buckle and his hands began to shake. It was too close. The wall he created to block out the memories of his dark past broke, and came flooding in.

* * *

The maw was getting closer and Shepard was just standing there staring at the monster.

"What the hell are you doing?! Move!" Garrus shouted.

"Come on Shepard get in to cover!" Kausmi yelled while trying to get the monsters attention.

"Shepard!" Tali screamed, trying to get the man's attention.

"Shepard!" she screamed again.

But the human wasn't moving.

The maw kept getting closer, and he planted in place. Kasumi and Garrus were trying to draw the maw away, but it wasn't enough. Tali sprang out from her cover and smashed herself in to Shepard. The two crashed to the ground behind fallen debris. The fall knocked the wind out of Tali since the landing was anything but graceful or gentle.

She watched the human blink, trying to make sense of his surroundings.

"What the hell is the matter with you?!" she hissed.

"I..I-"

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"I..I froze…" he mumbled, trying to figure out what had happened.

She wanted to scream and yell at him. She was glaring at him under her visor, but when she saw the fear in his eyes, her gaze softened.

The two stared at each other without saying a word. They broke eye contact when they realized the world around them had fallen silent. That silence was broken by a krogan cheering wildly.

"We aren't finished." She said firmly before standing and walking away.

He sat there, alone in silence.

* * *

The shuttle ride home was anything but quiet, with chatter from Grunt and Garrus about the thrill of bringing down the Thresher Maw. Shepard was pale and dead quiet and Tali was boiling over with rage. Kasumi carefully eyed the two and could feel the tension. She wondered how anyone could miss what was going on between the two.

When the shuttle docked Shepard was the first one out. He stripped out of his armor and left it in his locker in the cargo hold. He threw on the Cerberus clothes and made his way to his cabin without saying a word to anyone. He paced around his room, he was furious at himself for what happened earlier. He froze. He could have gotten his crew hurt or even worse, killed. He stepped in the bathroom to take a shower to try and wash the day away. He replayed the day, and what happened on Akuze again, the anger that had just faded away had begun to boil over as he was getting dressed. He hunched over and gripped the edge of the sink until his knuckles were white. He was so caught up in his anger and thoughts that he didn't hear his door swish open. He could hear the sounds of people screaming and begging for help. He brought his hands to his ears and tried to shut it all out. He screamed as he brought his fist to the mirror so he wouldn't have to stare at the person in front of him. The human leaned against the wall and slowly slid down it until he was sitting.

"Keelah Shepard what are you doing?" Tali demanded as she ran in to the bathroom.

He had that same foggy look in his eyes that he had earlier.

"What's going on with you?" she asked as she knelt down in front of him.

He blinked to regain his focus.

"I…I…I don't know." He mumbled. He looked down at his hands, one which was covered in glass and blood.

"What have I done?" he asked softly.

"Hey, hey…Look at me." She said softly as she placed a hand on the side of his face.

"I'll clean you up and then you can talk to me about it." She said gently.

She reached in to a pouch on her leg and pulled out a package of medi gel. She carefully pulled out the glass from his hands, with her slender and nimble fingers. She got the damp towel that he had just used and cleaned his hand before gently applying the medi gel. She pulled a bandage out from another pouch and wrapped it around his hand. She stood and extended her hand and helped Shepard to his feet. The two made their way to the couch. Tali sat down first and pulled Shepard down beside her.

"You know that you can talk to me." She said while reaching for his hands.

He took her hands in his, and with his good hand squeezed them tightly.

"I froze today, when I saw the maw. I froze. One second we were all on Tuchanka, the next I was on Akuze. I could see the destruction and people dying..I got stuck in this flashback and froze." He said quietly.

"Shepard…it's okay." She said while trying to comfort him.

"No! No it's not okay!" He shouted as he shot to his feet.

"Victor….I…-"

"No! I could have gotten you guys hurt or even killed! If something would have happened to any of you….especially you….I wouldn't be able to live with that…"he said while sitting beside her again.

She reached for his hands, and when he didn't resist she took them in hers.

"Nobody got hurt and we took the maw down." She said gently.

"But because of me-"

"Stop it! Nobody got hurt." She said more firmly.

He let out a long sigh.

"No one got hurt."she said more firmly.

"I know they'll understand, I know I do." She said while scooting closer to him.

"You have to let the guilt go…there was nothing you could have done back then. And for today…it happens. You are allowed to be human Victor." She said warmly.

He looked at her and wrapped his arms around her tightly and leaned his face in to her neck.

"Thank you Tali." He murmured in to her neck.

"I don't know what I'd do without you."

She didn't say anything, but held him tighter and ran her hands up and down his back.


	19. Goodnight Moon

So I had a good majority of the chapter done, but I was lying in bed last night and a much better plot hit me! So I had to rewrite! I have been swamped with work and school. When summer rolls around I know for sure I will have more time. Still in search of a beta, it would be greatly appreciated and would really help refine the story. Thank you so much for all of the new favorites and follows! And as always thank you for the reviews! If it weren't for my steady reviewers, none of this would be possible. Hopefully this is worth the wait. As always reviews and feedback are appreciated!

* * *

Running, it was imprinted in his mind. He had to get out before it was too late. It was getting hot and harder for him to breathe. The flames around him were getting more intense. Another explosion and he is sent sailing through the air and into open space.

The small hissing enough to interrupt his thoughts, he grabs for his neck and struggles. He knows it is no good. He tried to steady his breathing and stay as calm as possible. He opened his eyes and found himself face to face with a Thresher Maw. This time was different though. He watched the monster was gobbling up his crew. He ran to try and stop it, but stopped dead in his tracks when he locked eyes with the beast. This was it.

* * *

She woke with a start. The human beside her was thrashing about in the bed. He had a pained expression chiseled his face, with beads of sweat starting to run down the sides. She sat up on to her knees and placed a hand on his shoulder and tried to shake him awake.

"Shepard…"she tried gently.

"Victor…."she tried again.

"Victor!" she tried louder while giving him a rougher shake.

* * *

"NO!" he shouted as he flew out of the bed. He hit the floor hard, but instinct took in and he was in a crouched position ready to go. He reached for a gun but only found air.

He realized he was not on Akuze, but in his cabin on the Normandy. His breath came in slow steady pants. When he calmed, he looked up to find a frightened quarian kneeling on his bed.

"Oh my god, Tali are you okay?" he asked while trying to stand. His shaky legs wouldn't have it and he hit the floor with a small thud.

She crawled off the bed.

"I should be asking you that you silly bosh'tet." She murmured while walking to his bathroom. She knelt in front of him and handed him a bottle of water that had been sitting on his desk. With her now free hands she rubbed a cool, damp wash cloth along the sides of his face and along his neck.

"Tali…"

"Shhh, whenever you're ready, I'm here for you."

"I'm sorry Tali.." he mumbled while looking down.

She ran her fingers down the sides of his face and stopped at his jaw. Her fingers slipped under his chin and lifted it so he was now looking at her.

"Keelah, you have been there for me through so much and for so long. Let me be here for you Victor." She said warmly.

He could hear the smile in her voice.

He let out a sigh and told her about the dream….nightmare.

"I've been having them a lot since…you know I came back. But the first time I didn't have them is when we spent the first night together..." he said while reaching for her hands.

She happily complied and began playing with his hands.

"Well, it's probably because of everything that happened today, well yesterday. It's just fresh, it'll pass." She reassured.

She paused a moment before continuing.

"Well…you see I….I know from experience…"

He gently squeezed her hands, trying to comfort the nervous women.

"After you died..I-I well. I dreamt of the explosion and what I-I could have done or said..or never said…."she mumbled.

She took a deep breath and told him of the dream she had in the field of flowers.

"Tali I…I didn't know-"

She put her hand up to stop him.

"Come on" she said while standing. She extended her hands and helped pull him to his feet, and then guided him back to the bed.

He crawled next to her and put a hand on the side of her helmet.

He looked in the glowing silver eyes and finally felt at ease. With a sigh of content he brought his hand off her face and grabbed one of hers and brought it to his lips and kissed her knuckles.

"Ready to try sleep again?" she whispered softly.

The human nodded in response before drifting off to a peaceful sleep.

* * *

The two departed at the elevator. Shepard, took the first stop so he could grab a bite to eat and then plan out the. Crews next move. Tali remained in the elevator and made her way down to engineering to make up for her lack of work the previous day.

Shepard took a seat across from Garrus and Kasumi. The two looked at him, waiting for an explanation to the day before. Without looking up he could feel their state boring in to his skull. He let out a sigh.

"I flashed back to Akuze, and I froze..." He trailed off.

"I'm sorry….it's never happened to me before. Just seeing the maw so close, and hearing its screech." He shuddered

He looked up to two sympathetic faces, and felt relived.

"Don't worry about it Shep, it happens. I mean, I freeze when I see spiders." She joked.

"Happens to the best of us, well not me at least." Garrus smirked, as his mandibles flared.

"Oh shut up! You froze when that female krogan..."

"Okay okay!" Garrus interrupted.

"Thanks guys." He said while giving a small smile.

Kasumi's eyes wondered the room and found their way to Shepard's hand.

"When did that happen?" She asked with a tilt of her head.

"Lost a fight to a mirror." He said nonchalantly.

"Breaking mirrors boss?" Garrus smirked.

"With my fist, and not my face unlike you." He said while rising.

Kasumi doubled over laughing.

"Cheap shot!" Garrus called after him.

Shepard made his way to the galaxy map and his terminal. Before arriving he could already see it blinking angrily at him from across the room.

"Good morning Commander!" Kelly chirped.

"Chambers" he replied with a nod.

"You have unread messages at you private terminal." She informed cheerily, as he was already standing in front of the terminal.

"You don't say." He muttered.

"What was that Commander?" She asked cheerily.

"I said thank you" he lied with a small smile.

He didn't get much farther in to his reading before she interrupted

"Samara. Kasumi, and Zaeed had requested to speak with you Commander. The Illusive Man has also messaged you; he insists the matter is urgent."

"Thank you Chambers."

"What did Miss Zorah need from you Commander?" she asked as nonchalantly as possible.

"That is between her and I Yeoman." He said firmly, while stopping to face the red haired women.

"Am I clear?"

"Y-Yes Sir!" she stammered before making an excuse to leave her terminal.

He let out an annoyed sigh and got back to checking his messages.

The Illusive Man messaged him details on a dead collector ship that a turian fleet had taken out. It had valuable and much needed information. It was dangerous. Everything they did was dangerous though, but this…this was ridiculously dangerous! They were going to board a collector ship…he clenched and unclenched his fists. They didn't have a choice though.

"EDI have Joker set a course."

"Logging you out." The voice chimed.

Judging on its location, it was going to take a day or so to get there. So he decided to take advantage of some much needed down time. He made his way down to speak with Zaeed on the deck, and the try and get in a decent work out.

The smell of alcohol and cigarettes hit him immediately upon entering the mercenary's room.

"Shepard! About bloody time you came down here!" the man slurred while he struggled to stand.

Shepard didn't react, instead took a seat on a crate next to the man.

"What can I do for you Zaeed?" Shepard asked while leaning back against the wall.

"I've been tracking down this-" the man paused to belch.

"This son of a bitch for twenty years! And I finally have the chance to nail himmm." He again slurred while waving an arm in front of him.

"I need your help you see, to…" he made a gun and fired it with his fingers.

"You want me to help you get revenge? On a twenty year grudge?" Shepard asked patiently.

"Ahhhh come on….you helped the turian and that sexy little number on the deck below…" he said with furrowed brows.

The man had him there. He could not believe he was going to do this.

"Give Joker the coordinates. We have another stop before we can do anything about your 'problem' though. And quit smoking down here." Shepard said while waving a hand in front of his face, as to rid of the stale stench.

"No promises there." The drunk man mumbled.

Shepard shook his head and made his way down to the lowest deck to get in a work out. He closed his and took a deep breath while stepping on the treadmill. He slowly let the breath he was holding out and opened his eyes in an attempt to clear his troubled mind. He tuned the rest of the world out and began running.

After an hour the alarm on his omni tool went off, and he slowed his run from a jog to walk, and finally stopped moving. He then made his way to his cabin to shower and change. Next stops after that were Samara and Kasumi.

* * *

"Never ends." He mumbled while stepping out of the shower.

He looked in the mirror and he had a rough beard going. He slowly shaved it off, until his face was once again smooth. For the first time since he came back, he looked in the mirror. The same person as before, but it wasn't. He was more cybernetics and crap than human probably. The scar that ran along his cheek and underneath his jaw was gone, and in its place was new, smooth skin. In fact, all his old scars were gone; his body was a blank canvas for the new ones. His eyes, were a like a desert, so he had been told. They were a gold honey color in the center, and surround by a deep blue. He towel dried his hair and did his best to style it, he was not used to the length. He could always cut it….or ask Kausmi for help. He shrugged off both ideas and continued to get dressed.

While waiting for the elevator to descend he stretched his arms out in front of him.

He hissed at the soreness in his upper back. And tried to roll his shoulders and ignore the slight pain that he felt as a result.

He stopped in to speak with Samara, and she informed him about the situation with her daughter, despite the complications of the mission, he agreed to help her. And he thought his family life was twisted. He shuddered at the thought while making his way down the hall to talk to Kasumi.

He walked in to find Garrus and Kasumi watching some vid together.

"Well look who is excluding who now." Shepard joked as he entered the room.

"Haha." Garrus said as he rolled his eyes.

Kasumi peeked over the couch

"Heya Shep!"

"So what did you need to speak with me about that was soooo urgent?" he asked as he plopped down on the couch adjacent to were his friends were.

"I need to steal Keiji's grey box." She said while avoiding his gaze.

He remembered when she had talked about him.

"What's the game plan?" he asked without a second thought.

She was surprised at how fast he agreed to help her.

"Really Shep?" she asked quietly.

"Of course Kasumi. We'll get it done…after we go to an abandoned Collector ship…" he mumbled the last part.

Garrus choked on what he was drinking.

"Cool!" Kasumi shouted.

"You gunna fill us in on this boss?" Garrus asked between coughs.

"Ya after Tali gets here…..but I'm not taking her or you down Kas." He said while standing to get a drink from the bar.

"What the hell do you mean we don't get to go?" Kasumi demanded.

"Agin, I'll explain when Tali gets here. Relax." He reassured while returning with a soda.

Kasumi glared at him but didn't say anything more on the subject.

"Hey Kas, you any good with hair?"

* * *

It had been a long day. The two other engineers were good at keeping up with the repairs and upgrades, but of course they were not as good as she was. She was impressed and happy with herself for being able to do two days' worth of work in one. She doubled checked everything and cleaned up her area before heading up. As she was walking down the hall to the elevator she heard what sounded like noises of pain coming from were Jack liked to lurk. She stepped down a couple of the stairs before realizing they weren't sounds of pain at all.

With red cheeks she quickly and quietly made her way to the elevator. She looked down at herself and dusted herself off. When the door swished open she made her way down the hall. She was about to enter Kasumi's room when she heard muffled voices.

"It's lower." Muffled male voice.

"Here good Shep?" female voice

"Ya right there." Shepard's muffled voice.

"Ah Kas that's good." Shepard's muffled voice.

Her heart started pounding in her chest. Shepard and Kasumi?! Her Shapard, and her so called best friend Kasumi?! How could they do something like that to her?

She could no longer understand the voices, but could still hear them. She noticed the door was locked. She quickly hacked it and stormed in the room.

She looked over and saw Garrus lying down on the bed. He looked up when he heard the door open.

"Hey Tali." He greeted.

Why was Garrus in here? What was he doing here? None of this was making sense!

She stalked over to the couch and saw Kasumi kneeling on the floor pushing her elbow's in to Shepard's back. He was lying on his stomach face down in the couch.

"You….you're just giving him a massage?" she asked, voice flooded with relief.

"Ya…why?" Kasumi asked with a raised brow.

"It sounds like…I-I I mean…"she stammered nervously.

Shepard shot up and looked over the couch to Tali.

"I was going to have to kill you both." She muttered.

He rolled off the couch and made his way over to her. He waited for her nod of approval before wrapping his arms around her,

"I'd never do that to you Tali. Besides she is like my little sister." He murmured in to her hood.

"About time!" Garrus shouted.

"How long?!" the thief demanded. While running over to the two and hugging them.

"A little while, we wanted to keep it quiet." Shepard said while pulling away from Tali, but keeping one arm snaked around her waist. She leaned in to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"What about you two?" Shepard asked.

Garrus looked away; Shepard could have sworn he was blushing.

"Still working on it. Going slow." Kasumi admitted sheepishly.

"Congrats you two." Tali said happily.

"Sorry to uh change the topic, but what about this collector ship business?" Garrus asked from across the room.

"Well apparently a fleet of turian ships disabled a collector ship, and the Illusive Man wants us to check it out." Shepard said while moving to the couch.

"He what?!" Tali demanded.

"Crazy right?" Garrus asked.

"Tell her how we don't get to come!" Kasumi spat while glaring.

"What is she talking about Shepard?" Tali demanded.

"Tali…I'm not taking you or Kasumi down for this one. I'm taking Garrus, Zaeed, and Thane along." He trailed off.

"Why?!" both women demanded.

"Because we need people with keen fighting skills and heavy armor on this one. I have no idea what we'll find down there, and I don't want to be caught by surprise." He replied calmly.

"Look, I am not changing my mind on this one alright? The decision is final and that is an order." He said with finality.

Neither of the women liked it, but they agreed.

"I was thinking before we go off on this crazy mission we hit the Citadel up for a day of fun. What do you guys think?" Shepard asked, trying to ease the tension in the room.

"Do we have time for that?" Garrus asked.

"We got to make time for these things. I want everyone on their best game, no distractions." He explained.

The three nodded in agreement.

"Joker, change of plan take us to the Citadel." Shepard called out.

"Aye Aye Commander, ETA three hours." He replied over the com.

"EDI could you inform the crew we will be having a short shore leave?"

"Right away Commander, logging you out." The voice chimed.

* * *

Three and half hours later, a good portion of the crew was departing from the Normandy for their shore leave. Among that group was Tali and Shepard. The two walked off side by side. Shepard slowly and hesitantly reached for Tali's hand. When he took her in his own, she looked up at him. He waited for her to pull her hand away, but instead she gave it a squeeze and they continued on their way.

"Where would you like to go?"

"Well…I was reading about this new modification for my shot gun…." She mumbled.

"Then let's go." He said while smiling at her.

The two made their way to the store, talking the whole time. She was starting to notice people staring at them, but Shepard seemed oblivious, so she did her best to ignore it.

After several minutes of walking, they finally made their way to the weapon shop. Tali immediately began looking at the new shot guns.

"See anything you like?" he asked while stepping next to her.

"Keelah look at this one!" she said while excitedly pointing

"Too bad it's only for Spectres." She said sadly.

"We'll take this one and all the mods you got for it." Shepard told the shop keeper while readying omni tool.

"It's for Spetres only." The shop keeper replied without looking up.

"Commander Victor Shepard, the first and only human Sprectre." Victor replied nonchalantly.

The shop keeper looked and fumbled over himself to ready the order.

"Shepard what are you doing?" Tali asked.

"Buying you that shot gun." He replied while transferring the credits over.

"Shepard I can't accept this!" Tali exclaimed.

"Why not?"

"It's too much! Look at how much it cost!"

"I want to buy my girlfriend a gift." He replied while taking her hands in his again, and making his best puppy dog face.

"Alright, alright, thank you Shepard….this means a lot to me." She replied quietly.

"Don't mention it." Replied with that big goofy smile.

"Can I get that delivered to my ship?" he asked the shop keep.

"For you of course! No extra charge!" the asari stammered.

"Thanks, and here is a little extra for the trouble." He replied with a slight nod of his head before turning around and walking away.

* * *

The two continued walking around and stopped at a dextro and levo friendly café for an early dinner/late lunch. Shepard noticed the strange and disgusted looks that people were giving them. He saw the way pointed and whispered. He did his best to ignore it, and not draw any attention to it. He knew how much it bothered Tali. After they finished eating, he reached across the table and took Tali's hands in his own.

"Do you want to get a drink? Dance? See a vid?" he asked with that big smile.

She glanced down at her omni tool.

"Keelah Shepard! We are already an hour late! It is Kasumi and Garrus's turn for some shore leave." She said while standing.

"Shit, okay." He swore while standing. He paid the bill and the two started back to the Normandy.

The looks and whispers were impossible for either to pretend to ignore.

Shepard noticed someone was throwing garbage at them. He swatted it away

"Fucking xenophobes." Shepard muttered angrily.

Tali tightened her grip on his hand.

"Wrong!"

"Trash!"

"You two are an abomination!"

"Stick to your own race suit rat!" a human male sneered.

Shepard stopped dead in his tracks.

"Shepard, let's just go." Tali pleaded.

"Do you have a problem? Does this in some way effect you in any way? Other races are with other races! How the hell is this any different?!" Shepard demanded to the people around him.

"Huh?!" He shouted

"Our relationship has nothing to do with any of you! If we care about each other and make one another happy isn't that what counts?!"

"Anyone have anything else to say?! Say it now! I don't give a fuck what any of you hypocritical xenophobes think. I, a human, Victor Shepard am in a relationship with a quarian, Tali Zorah vas Normandy!" he stated in front of the crowd that had gathered.

Shepard looked over at Tali who had not moved or said a word. He grabbed her hand and shoved past the crowd. When they were far enough away, she yanked her hand away from his and stormed off.

"Tali!" he called after her, but her quickened pace did not let up.

"Tali wait!" he tried again, but she was only getting farther and farther away.

He ran to catch up with her. By the time he did they were at the Normandy.

"Tali talk to me please." He pleaded.

He followed her to the elevator and felt a small wave of relief when she hit the button for this floor.

She did not speak until they were in his cabin and the doors had shut.

"That is exactly what I warned you about." She said with a defeated sigh as she sat down on his couch.

"Is that what this is about? I thought you were mad at me for what happened." He said clearly relived.

"How could I be angry at you for defending our relationship like that, in front of all those hateful and angry people?" she asked while looking up at him.

He looked down and gave a small shrug.

"You deserve so much better than me." She said sadly.

"Someone you don't have to defend a relationship with…" she trailed off.

He sat down beside her on the couch

"Tali, I don't know what I have to say or do to prove to you. I don't want anyone else. I don't care about anyone else the way I care about you. I don't feel this, for anyone else." He took her hand and paused.

"I love you Tali'Zorah vas Normandy." He said with as much conviction as possible.

He felt the women beside him stiffen, and felt a wave of panic make his way to his heart.

She flew off of the couch and pointed a slender finger at him.

"Don't say that…d-don't say that." She could feel the heat behind her eyes.

"Tali look, I'm not expecting you to say it back. I-"

She interrupted him.

"Don't….don't say it if you don't mean it. Don't say it if it's in the moment or…or.." she stammered. She was fighting back tears, and choked down a sob.

Shepard quickly closed the distance between them and placed his hands on the sides of her helmet.

"Tali, I. Love. You. For once in my life I feel complete. Like that piece that has been missing is finally there. And I am a complete idiot for not seeing that you were there in front of me the whole time. Believe me, I will never forgive myself for that. You don't just see me like everyone else does. You see me as a person first and you see past all of that. You ground me; you remind me that I have something to live for. Anderson told me this before, and I never believed him. He told me it was a good thing to be scared, because it meant you had something to live for. And if you weren't scared it just meant you weren't paying attention. And all these years I guess I haven't been paying attention because before, I have never been scared out there when I am fighting….but now I'm afraid. Every time we go out there I'm scared that something will happen to me and what it'll do. And the way your eyes light up the room and-"

He pulled his hands to his sides and clenched them in fists. He was looking down trying to find the right words, but interrupted by the sound of a small hiss and soft lips pressing in to his. She brought her hands to the side of his face and pulled him in closer. Her lips were soft and sweet, it was unlike anything he had ever experienced in his life. Everything about the kiss felt right. It was the kiss the people write about, that people spend a life time trying to find.

*She felt a fire. It was so intense, she wanted to lose herself in it. She felt like gravity had shifted and was pulling her to him. She wanted more, but she had to stop. She had been reckless enough as it was. She gently pulled away and whispered in to his lips.

"Keep your eyes closed."

As much as de didn't want to, he complied. He heard a small click, and knew her mask was back on.

"Okay" she whispered.

He slowly opened his eyes and blinked to regain focus. His eyes were half lidded.

"That was….incredible." he breathed. He had that big smile, the smile only for her.

She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, like he would disappear.

Still dumbfounded, it took him a second to realize what was happening and he wrapped his arms around her.

"I love you too Victor Shepard." She said as tears of joy ran down her face.


	20. Dead Eyes

As usual thank you so much for the feedback and the follows! It makes this all worthwhile! Again, still in search of a beta, so my apologies on the errors! Please continue with the feedback!

* * *

The two had never felt closer to one another. They sat on the bed and talked late in to the night until they had both finally fallen asleep.

She slowly opened her eyes and found comfort at the sight of the familiar cabin. She let out a small sigh of content and rolled over to find that she was alone. In place of Shepard was a data pad on the pillow.

_Tali,_

_I didn't want to wake you, you looked far too peaceful. Sorry to tell you this over a message, but by the time you read this I will be on the Collector ship. I only hope you won't be too mad. Be back soon safe and sound._

_Love your Bosh'tet._

"That bosh'tet!"

She threw the data pad back on to the bed as shot out of the bed. She stormed out of the cabin and made her way down to vent to Kasumi….and to fill her in on what had happened the night before.

She made her way past Chambers, without a second glance. She did however notice the not so subtle dirty look she had received from the red haired women. But she didn't take it to heart.

She entered the thief's room.

She noticed the woman holding a data pad of her own while sighing in frustration.

"Did you get one of these too?" she asked without looking up.

"Stupid bosh'tets." She gripped as she sat down on the couch.

"So what are we going to do with them when they get back?" she asked while rolling on to her back.

"Yell? But I doubt it would get through their thick skulls." Tali replied with a chuckle.

"Boys will be boys I guess." The thief sighed.

* * *

"It is way too quiet in here…" Garrus trailed off.

"I agree with him Shepard, something doesn't feel right." Thane added.

"Where are all the bloody bastards?" Zaeed questioned.

"Everything about this feels off. Let's get what we need and get the hell out of here." Shepard answered.

"Commander, the signatures from this ship matches those from the ship that attacked Horizon." EDI chimed.

"You got to be kidding me." Garrus mutters.

The group falls in to a silence as they continue on.

"For the love of God, look at this place! Zaeed exclaims while stopping to examine the place.

They encounter the same pod like things they found on Horizon. Some of them are cracked open and hollow, with blood stained around the edges, and pooled in the center. As they continue on, the presence of death becomes more apparent.

Thane stops and says a silent prayer for the dead around them. Bodies are piled and scattered all along the floor of the ship. All with fatal wounds and surrounded by blood.

"Bloody hell!" Zaeed exclaims while turning away.

"Man am I glad we can't smell with these helmets." Garrus replies.

"Show some respect. These were people, they had lives…they meant something to somebody." Shepard snapped.

The two looked at the ground with heads hung low. The group continues on and stops when they enter a large room full of pods. They stare at the ceiling of this large room, which is lined with pods.

"EDI are there any signs of life in those pods?" The commander asks

"My scans show there are no signs of life Commander." The synthetic voice replies.

"Look over here Commander." Thane calls.

The group gathers around a cracked open pod.

"Sick bastards are even experimenting on their own kind!" Garrus spits.

"Commander, it appears they are testing the similarities between humanity and their own." EDI informs the group.

"I feel sick." Garrus mutters.

"Commander, that's not all I have found." She pauses.

"The DNA of the Collectors matches that of the Protheans."

The group falls in to a stunned silence.

"Uhhh Commander. Hate to be the one that makes all of this weirder, but according to EDI's readings…this is the same ship that destroyed the original Normandy…"Joker trailed off.

"You have to be fucking kidding me! These bastards have been following me around for over two fucking years?!" The commander shouted.

"That's not all. I decoded the distress signal that the turians sent to Illusive Man forwarded; the encryption did not match that of a turian vessel. In fact the encryption matched that of messages sent from the Illusive Man himself."

"That son of a bitch!" Shepard growled while ramming the butt of his rifle in to one of the pods, which then started oozing a dark green sticky liquid.

He pulled his rifle out with a loud *shlunk* noise.

The group all made faces of disgust as they continued through the ship. The large room seemed too expanded into an even larger one, completely lined with pods.

"The entire population of the Terminus system could fit in to these pods." Garrus gaped, mandibles flaring.

They arrived in to large open room with platforms floating all along open space.

As soon as they stepped on to one, the whole ship began to shake and rumble with a loud roar.

"What the hell is going on?!" Shepard demanded.

"I tried to seize control of the console beside you, but the-collec-tors-seiz-ing control…" the synthetic voice cut off with static.

"Get-to-console-other-platf-orms…"

"It appears they were here the whole time. This was a trap Commander." Thane remarked.

"And that bastard Illusive Man knew it the whole time." Zaeed growled.

"Uhhh I think we can worry about him later, but for now incoming!" Garrus shouted as he took cover behind the railing of the platform, which began to move.

"Only one way out now I guess." Shepard replied.

The group separated and took cover from the incoming fire of the Collectors.

"Assuming direct control, resistance is futile." Harbinger's voice boomed.

Garrus leaned out of cover to see what was coming toward them.

"EDI we could use a little help down here." Shepard growled in to the com.

"I am simultaneously fighting the Collector firewalls in over 8,000 nodes. I am tasked to capacity." EDI replied.

"Bloody hell they're still coming!" Zaeed shouting while taking cover again.

The platform rose and slowly spun as it connected with a platform full of Collectors firing away relentlessly on the group

They watched as one of the larger Collectors rose in the air, engulfed in golden rim of fire.

"Assuming direct control!" Harbinger boomed.

"Connection at forty percent Commander." EDI informed.

The battle raged on and the group was greatly outnumbered.

"Shepard, I'm running low on clips." Thane shouted while ducking back in to cover.

The platform rocked, and was now at an angle, sending the group sliding to the next platform.

"Connection at fifty eight percent." EDI chimed.

"We can't last much bloody longer!" Zaeed growled.

All of their shields were running low, and all were suffering minor damage to their armor.

"Can we hurry it up EDI?" Shepard pleaded through clenched teeth.

"I am doing the best I can Commander. Connection at seventy six percent." EDI replied.

Shepard peaked out of cover and saw they were nearing the console. He let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding.

The battle raged on. The old mercenary foolishly stood out of cover with his shields down. The blast from one of the Collectors sent him reeling back until he hit the floor with a loud thud. The blood from the shot splattered across Thane's face. The old man lay unmoving on the ground, crimson pooling around him.

"Shit!" Shepard shouted.

Thane wiped the blood from his face from his fingers off on to the ground.

Shepard crawled from out of cover over to the man. He flipped him over to find half of the man's face missing.

All three men turned away. Thane said a silent prayer for their fallen comrade.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Garrus muttered.

"What's going on down there?!" Joker shouted in the com line.

"We lost Zaeed." Shepard sighed.

"Holy Shit…I'm sorry guys." Joker replied in all seriousness.

"Sorry to interrupt, but connection is now at one hundred percent. I need you to give me access through the terminal." The synthetic interrupted.

The trio cleared a path to the terminal. As soon as they did, the ship began to roar to life.

"Uh Commander, their ship is coming back on line!" Joker panicked.

"What about Zaeed? What do we do with him?" Shepard asked to the group.

"There is no way we can escape while carrying him." Garrus replied sadly.

"Now might be a good time to start running Commander." Joker pleaded.

"Sorry Zaeed." Shepard muttered.

"EDI how do we get out of here?" Shepard barked.

"I'll guide you through Commander. I suggest you do start running." The synthetic voice calmly replied.

The group took the advice and began running through the ship and back to the Normandy. They fought through several groups of Collectors before flying through the doors of the Normandy.

"Where are we going Commander?" EDI asked.

"Anywhere but here! Get us the hell out of here!" Shepard ordered.

The Normandy hummed to life and blasted away from the Collector ship that was slowly coming to life. The group stayed where they were, panting heavily.

"…..The Illusive man wants to talk to you." Joker mumbled.

Shepard glared at the pilot before silently standing and walking out of the room.

*He stepped in to the com room and the Illusive Man was already waiting for him.

"Ah Shepard. You got some valuable information." The man grinned while taking a drag from his cigar. His blue eyes smirking.

"How dare you send in to that trap?" Shepard seethed

The man took another drag of his cigar.

"Shepard we needed that intel. There was no other way. If I told you, it would have let the Collectors on." He replied simply.

"You put my whole crew in danger! We could have gotten hurt or killed! For the love of God we lost Zaeed!" He threw his hands up in exasperation.

"I'm sorry about your loss Commander. But we got the information we needed." He said while exhaling smoke.

"Damn it!" he swore.

"I'm sorry it ended that way, but he knew that death was a possibility when he signed up for this mission."

Shepard didn't say a word.

"Keep up the good work Shepard. I'll work on getting some leads."

And with that the room darkened before lighting up in to their conference room.

He turned on his heels and stormed of the room, down the hall in to Miranda's room.

When the doors unexpectedly swooshed open, the Cerberus operative looked up from her console.

"Hello Commander." She greeted with a small smile.

"Save it Lawson." He snapped.

Her smiled quickly turned in to a scowl.

"Excuse me but-"

"Did you know about that?" he interrupted.

"Why would I have known? He let me have it for staying on board." She snapped back.

He let out a sigh of defeat.

"I'm sorry Miranda." He said with a frown.

Her scowl softened to a sympathetic frown.

"It's alright. It was a rather difficult mission."

"He never even saw it coming at least."

She didn't say anything for a moment.

"You should get yourself cleaned up and go see the girls. They've been asking for you." The operative replied quietly.

"Thanks." He replied with a small nod before exiting the office. He went up in to his cabin and slowly stripped off the dirty armor.

He watched as dirt and blood circled down the drain. It wasn't all his blood though. He knew that blood he would never be able to wash away.

He stepped out of the shower and looked the broken chunk of glass hanging from the wall. He ignored the pain that the memory brought back as he got dressed and made his way down to Kasumi's room.

The doors swished open, and before he could react a small quarian woman jumped in to his arms. He was briefly stunned by retuned the gesture by wrapping his arms around the small women. He leaned his face in to her shoulder and buried it in the crook of her neck and took a deep breath. The stress and anger from the day slowly faded away.

"Garrus told us everything…I'm sorry Shepard." She murmured.

"There was nothing we could have done." He said with a sigh.

"Come have a drink." Garrus said while raising his glass.

Tali slowly pulled away from him and led him to the couch. After he sat she made her way to the bar to get her own drink.

"I can't believe he sent you guys in there." Kasumi said while scowling.

"I'm just surprised that I didn't see it sooner." Shepard replied while taking a long drink.

Tali sat on the opposite end of the couch from Shepard and patted her thigh. He slid down the couch on his stomach and put his head in her lap. She gently ran her fingers through his hair.

"It's getting long. I remember when you had it so short." She said while taking a drink with her free hand.

"I had to have a buzz cut for the N7 program and just got used to it I guess. But I kinda like it longer." He paused.

"Do you think that I should cut it?" he asked while leaning up just enough to take a drink.

"No because it makes you Commander Sexy!" Kasumi said with a mock kiss.

Shepard rolled his eyes at the comment.

Garrus simply ignored it the remark.

"I like it." Tali said while continuing to run her hand through his hair.

"I'll have to keep it then." He said while turning to smile at him.

"You boys look you need some rest." Kasumi said while leaning in to Garrus.

He slowly put one arm around her and pulled her in closer. The couple on the other couch smiled at their friend's happiness.


	21. See Who I Am

Hey all! As usual thank you so much for the reviews and follows! It inspires and motivates me to keep on writing! I received a very good suggestion that I will try very hard to incorporate in to this chapter or the next! Still in search of a beta to give me a hand! Please continue with the wonderful support! Let there be fluff!

* * *

He woke to a small hand on his shoulder, gently shaking him. He blinked to adjust to the soft light of the observation port.

"Let's get you to bed sleepy head." Tali said warmly.

He rubbed his eyes while sitting up.

"What time is it?" he asked with a yawn?

"Don't you worry about that, you need to rest." She replied while stretching before standing up.

He looked over and saw Garrus and Kasumi were both fast asleep in each other's arms. With a tired smile he took the hand that was offered to him and rose to his feet. He wrapped and arm around the small woman's waist and pulled her in close as they walked out of the room and made their way down the hall to the elevator.

* * *

Her heart still did somersaults whenever he touched her….smiled at her…even looked at her! Keelah! She was very glad for the visor for the moments like these, when her face was burning from an intense blush. When she was near him it felt like her heart was going to explode out of her chest.

She leaned in to his embrace and wrapped an arm around him. Through her suit she could feel the warmth radiating from his body. She thought back to their kiss….her first kiss. She let out a small sigh. She wanted to feel that again, more than anything. She felt bad for being the reason they had to wait. She tried to push the guilt away and think on all the times he had reassured her.

"Tali?"

She snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at him. She hadn't even noticed he had untangled himself from their embrace. He was standing outside of the open elevator doors.

"And you call me the sleepy head. Come on my sweet princess." He said while stepping forward and taking both of her hands in his and leading her down the stairs and to the bed. He kicked off his shoes and they both crawled in to the bed.

She turned on her side so she was facing him. He leaned forward until his forehead was touching her face plate. She looked up in to his eyes. She watched his eyes slowly drip until they were half lidded and glazed over.

She slowly moved her stare to the clock on the night stand, and discovered his gaze followed hers, never breaking contact.

"Are you okay?" she asked with a hint of amusement in her voice.

He didn't respond, only continued the glazed stare.

"Shepard?" she asked a little louder, this time more concerned.

"Hm?" He blinked and regained his focus.

"Are you alright? You drifted off there…."she trailed off while bringing a hand to his face.

"I know I can't fully see them, but I am mesmerized by your eyes." He murmured

She felt a blush creep up her cheeks.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. She happily complied and snuggled in closer to him, burying her head in to his shoulder and neck. They both let out sighs of content before drifting off in to a peaceful slumber.

* * *

She woke before him the next morning. She carefully untangled herself from and quickly slinked out of the room. On her way out she noticed his terminal flashed with a new message from the Illusive Man. She hesitated before clicking to open the message. She quickly glanced at it and gasped at the contents. It contained information that Liara needed. She was unsure how Shepard would want to handle the situation. She glanced over and saw he was still sound asleep. She then slipped out of the room.

During the elevator ride down, she realized that for the first time in a long time she was truly happy. The doors swished open and she stepped out and made her way to the kitchen to surprise him with breakfast in bed. Kasumi had suggested something along those lines the previous day.

She grabbed a tube of some interesting sounding nutrient paste, and gathered a tray of food for Shepard. By the time she returned to the room he was still asleep. She smiled in relief at the sight. She quietly made her way back over to the bed. She set the tray down on to the nightstand beside the bed and carefully crawled on to the bed. She knelt down and sat on the back of her feet while reaching one hand to gently caress the side of his face. She ran her hand from the top of his face down his cheek.

She felt the human stir.

"Shepard." She gently called, while continuing to gently caress his face.

His eyes opened slowly and a smile crept across his face.

"Good morning my quarian princess." He said while sitting up.

There was that term again; she would have to look it up.

"I brought you breakfast in bed…."she trailed off shyly.

"Really?" he asked while smiling.

She quickly nodded and reached over for the tray of food. She carefully handed the tray of food to her sleepy human.

"Thank you Tali, I really appreciate this." He leaned over and kissed the side of her visor.

Her face was red once again.

"I'm happy you like the surprise." She said while smiling.

She was definitely going to have to thank Kasumi later on.

"So what's next on the agenda?" she asked while opening her tube of nutrient paste.

"Well. Kasumi needs our help with a little side mission, and so did Samara. Zaeed did as well, but…." He trailed off at that.

"We'll head on over to Omega first probably." He said thoughtfully while chewing.

"Uhm….Shepard.."

"Yes?"

"I know I shouldn't have done this but…."

"What's wrong Tali?" he asked concernedly.

"Well when I was walking out, I saw a message from the Illusive Man….he has information that would benefit Liara…" she trailed off.

"Crap." He sighed while leaning back from the food.

"I-I'm sorry I shouldn't have looked." She stammered.

"No, no, I'm not mad at you sweetie." He said reassuringly while reaching for her hand and giving it a squeeze.

"I'm annoyed at the situation. I have to help her now…and as wrong as it sounds, after our last encounter I don't really want to do her any favors…you know?"

"I understand what you mean…you don't have to do this Shepard…..but she did get you back though…" She returned the squeeze in an attempt to comfort him.

"I do owe her for that…" he paused.

"It doesn't seem like it but she's our friend. She needs our help. She just lost herself somewhere along the way..I can understand how that goes. Besides I have people that keep me from straying too far from who I am." He replied while gently nudging his arm.

She let out a sigh.

"You never cease to amaze me Shepard." She said while snaking one of her arms around his free one.

He let out a small chuckle.

She gentle pinched his side before telling him "You better finish that."

At that he laughed and leaned his head back.

"Yes ma'ma." He joked with a wink and finished his breakfast while listening to the woman beside him talk.

After a long morning of talking and lounging they both agreed they needed to go down and finally start their day.

TalI was the first one that reluctantly slid off of the bed.

"Come on lazy!" she teased while pulling his arm in attempt to get him off the bed.

He simply groaned and rolled over.

She let out an exasperated sigh and tried pulling him over again. He rolled over, and in an instant he had her back on the bed again and pinned down. He plopped down on top of her and buried his face in the space between her neck and the pillow.

"Five more minutes." He muttered in the pillow.

She giggled at his antics.

"Keelah who would have thought the Great Commander Shepard was soooo lazy!" she giggled while slowly wrapping her arms around the muscular human.

Keelah he was so strong, and so much bigger than any quarian. She couldn't deny how strangely attractive that was. He was more muscular now then he was before.

He didn't reply to her, he just groaned again in to her neck. She squirmed and giggled at the feeling on her neck.

"Shepard!" she cried while giggling.

"What?" he asked while lifting his head up to look down at her.

"We have things to do today" she replied while running her hands up his back.

"Fine" he replied with a sigh and then rolled off the women and in to the empty space next to her.

"Stubborn bosh'tet." She mumbled with a smile.

"What's that?" he asked

"Ohhh nothing." She replied nonchalantly.

"Nothing? I think you just called me a stubborn bosh'tet." He chuckled while sitting up.

"What?" She gapped.

"I would never say such a thing!" she said while putting a hand up to her chest in feigned hurt.

"You sly little minx!" he declared before pinning her down and tickling her sides.

She squealed with laughter and squirmed underneath him.

"Admit it!" he mocked ordered while continuing

She managed to get her hands free and attempted to grab his, but due to the difference in strength the effort came to no avail. She was laughing so hard, that her sides began to ache and she could no longer breath.

"Ok!" She gasped while trying to breathe again.

"Ok what Miss Zorah?" he asked with a grin.

"I'm sorry I called you a stubborn bosh'tet…." She paused.

"But you did kind of just prove my point." She giggled.

"Fine…but I'm no bosh'tet…whatever that is." He chuckled.

"Are you ever going to tell me what that is?" he asked while flopping down beside her.

"Mmmmm…..maybe." she mused.

Shepard rolled his eyes and then rolled off of the bed. He made his way to his terminal and browsed through his messages. Tali followed suit and got off the bed and made her way to the terminal to stand beside Shepard. He let out a tired sigh.

"Back to work. We should go suit up and get ready for Omega." He thought out loud.

"Who are you going to take?" she asked.

"It depends on how Samara wants to handle it. I want to make this as comfortable as I can for her. It's going to be a difficult mission for her after all." He replied sadly.

She didn't know what Samara needed help with exactly and she knew better than to push the subject.

"I should go down and talk to her…Joker we are set and heading for Omega right?" he called out to the pilot.

"Roger that Commander. ETA three hours." The pilot replied.

The two made their way to the elevator. Shepard wrapped his arms around the small woman and pulled her in close.

"I'll see you soon." He said while slowly pulling himself away from her.

"Ok." She said with a small nod.

The doors of the elevator opened and he stepped out. He made his way down the hall way to speak with Samara. He knocked on the door and she invited him in the room.

He quietly entered the room and took a sit next to the meditating asari and mimicked her pose.

She was glowing blue and staring straight ahead.

"Shepard." She greeted. Her hands and eyes now no longer glowing.

"If you have the time, I would love to talk." the justicar said while smiling, and relaxing her pose.

"Of course. How much do you know about our mission exactly?" he asked while staring out at the stars.

"I know I have sworn an oath to you. That you seek to destroy the Collectors, and that is enough for me." The woman replied warmly.

She had an oddly calming presence in this setting.

"You don't want to know why we seek to destroy them?" he asked while taking a slow deep breath.

"When you live by a code, you learn that curiosity can be dangerous." She replied while a smile slowly graced her face.

"Samara….how do you want to handle your situation." He asked while turning to face the woman.

"You'll have to go in alone Shepard. Morinth is very dangerous, but she is very smart so she is going to be cautious." She replied in all seriousness.

He could tell she was taking a brief pause.

"You are going to have to pique her interest enough so she will approach you. You are going to have to keep her interested enough so she will take you to her apartment. Shepard, I must warn you, you will be in grave danger until I arrive. She will be planning the horrors which she would like to inflict on you. I can sense you are very strong willed, you must resist her Shepard. That is something she will sense on you, attracting her all the more." The woman was now standing.

Shepard slowly stood up, thinking about the situation at hand. He was a little nervous from the description he had just received, but he could not let that show. He had to help Samara, he could not let her down.

"So I will need to act like I own the place, but not act like a total jerk?" he asked while stretching his back.

"Preciously. I will be there before you enter the club to give further instructions if needed. Do not be too alarmed Shepard, I will be watching the whole time." She assured.

"Alright. We should be there in about two hours. From the way this mission sounds, I think you and I should be the only ones that go down there."

"I did not want to ask that of you, but thank you."

"It's a personal matter. I know how important this is to you, the rest of the crew doesn't need to know about it." He extended a hand out to her.

She ignored the hand and pulled him in to a small hug. He was shocked by the display of affection from the justicar, but reciprocated the gesture.

"Thank you Shepard. This is not a burden I easily share. You are the only soul I can imagine sharing it with." She said with a bow of her head as they pulled away from each other.

"I must admit, you are not quite how I imaged" she added with a small smile.

"Any time you need me." He bowed his head in return to the asari. He quietly turned and walked out of the room. She sat down in front of the window and silently continued on with her meditation.

As he made his way to the galactic war map he saw Garrus was waiting for him.

He chuckled at the sight in front of him.

"What?" the turian asked, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

This made the human laugh harder.

"What?" Garrus asked.

Shepard tried to catch his breath, but laughed even harder when he looked at the turian again.

"Seriously Shepard, tell me what is so funny." The turian pleaded.

Shepard cleared his throat.

"You uh….got a little something…" Shepard said while wiping at his own face.

"Something on my face? Is that what was so funny? Seriously Shepard grow up." The turian scoffed.

Shepard put his face up in mock defeat. The turian turned on his heels and stormed down the hall to the bathroom. Shepard followed close behind, readying his omnitool to take a picture.

"Oh for the love of…." The turian trailed off staring in to the mirror.

Shepard quickly snapped a picture of the turians face before laughing once again. The turian made a lunge for Shepard, but the human was quicker. He shot out the door and ran down the hall laughing.

He pulled up the picture and sent it to the quarian engineer.

* * *

She was interrupted from her work when her omni tool beeped, notifying her of a new message. She pulled up the message, and clicked on the attached image. Written in lipstick on the turians face was "I heart my GurrBear!"

The women then irrupted in to a fit of giggles before laughing uncontrollably.


	22. Animal I Have Become

Trying to stay current on the updates! Thank you for the follows, views, and reviews! I say it a lot, but it really does mean a lot to me. It makes writing this worth it! Love you guys and the support! Please continue with all of the love! BTW Sorry for the lag and it being so short. Work and school has been killing me!

* * *

Shepard had about an hour before he needed to get ready for Omega. He had been thinking he needed to be sure his crew was ready for the upcoming mission. He made his way to Operative Lawson's room. When he approached the door he noticed it was unlocked and opened when he approached.

"Commander." She greeted while looking up from her terminal

"Miranda." He replied with his typically warm smile.

"I've actually been meaning to speak with you." She said while standing. She led him in to her private courters and took a seat at the far end of the couch. She nodded, indicating he should sit. He took a seat on the opposite end of the couch.

"What can I do for you?" she asked, giving him her full attention.

"I just wanted to see how you were." He stretched out his long legs.

She raised a brow at him.

"I assume you are referring to my sister and me." She said with a small smile.

He smiled and waited for her to continue.

"She is doing well. We have been messaging back and forth actually. She's smart, beautiful, and funny. We even have similar tastes in music." She paused, thinking of what to say next.

"She messaged me too, but you already knew that." He replied with a sly smile.

Her eyes widened in shock, but it quickly faded to amusement. He could have sworn he saw a small blush tugging at her cheeks.

"I'm not mad, honestly I thought it was funny. But I think you should know, I already knew you were reading my messages, again, not mad just amused." He chuckled.

She smiled at his response and reaction.

"I'll admit, I was expecting you to be mad, but you are not at all what I expected Commander." She replied while looking at him thoughtfully.

"I've been getting that a lot today. What do you mean by that though? Did you expect me to come in here ranting and raving, and then throw some stuff around? Oh and quit with the Commander stuff, just call me Shepard." he mused

"I expected some arrogant, pig headed military figure that would stomp around barking orders. I read up on your file, what you went through. I don't know how it is even possible you are the way you are." She said in awe, while leaning back in her chair.

"Come on Lawson." He said in disbelief.

"It's true. Shepard. You have accomplished more with natural abilities then I ever have with my enhanced genetics. My father picked out the best genes money could buy and created me. But you…have that spark that makes people want to follow you. I guess what he gave me wasn't enough." She stood to look out the window.

"Miranda…don't let that get to you." He said softly while standing.

"But this is what I am Shepard. He paid for everything that I am. All my accomplishments are because of him." She hissed bitterly.

"The only thing I can account for as my own are my mistakes." She said sadly while keeping her gaze upon the stars.

"Miranda you pushed him away to break off to have your own life , to make sure Oriana was safe and could have a normal life. It doesn't matter how you got those skills, it's how you use them. You can't let those things define you Miranda, it will eat you up inside. You are your own person despite everything he has given you." Shepard replied fiercely.

He broke this distance between them and put a hand on her shoulder and gave a comforting squeeze. She didn't resist or shrug it off.

She slowly turned to look at him.

"You really are something." She mused with a smile.

He smiled back and shrugged at her. His eyes widen in revelation.

"That's why you're with Cerberus. To protect Oriana and because you have something to prove." He looked at her thoughtfully.

"Cerberus doesn't tell me no or how I should do things per say. They give me the resources and say do it. It gave me a chance to do something with my skills, well define myself at least. And yes, they do help me look after Oriana and keep my father away from him. But with how things have been going I am starting to doubt my loyalties to them…I blame you for that." She added with a small grin.

"If you ever need to leave them, I promise you I will make sure you and Oriana are safe. Do you understand?" he questioned, while firmly, but gently grabbing her wrist.

She looked at her captured wrist up to his eyes and saw genuine concern. It made her smile, genuinely smile from happiness for the first time in a long time.

"Thank you Shepard. That truly means a lot to me." She replied with a nod.

He let go of her wrist and nodded.

"Good talk Miranda. I should get ready for Omega." He said before turning to leave.

She did say anything, but nodded in response to him. Damn that quarian was one lucky girl, she thought with a sigh before getting back to work.

* * *

He wasn't used to not wearing armor for a mission, but it was an interesting change of pace. He was wearing a pear or dark blue jeans, a black jacket, and his leather N7 jacket. He didn't want any arguments from Garrus or anyone else on the crew, so he and Samara ducked out.

"So are you clear on the plan Shepard?" Samara asked while they walked to the club.

"As ready as I can be I guess. I'm trying not to think about it too much….don't want it to seem staged or rehearsed at all." He replied calmly.

"That is a wise strategy." She replied

He nodded, trying to hide his nerves. This was a dangerous situation after all; he did some research on just what Samara's daughter was capable of. He needed to stay on his guard and remain focus the whole time.

The two stayed quiet, until they reached the club.

"I will be here watching and waiting." She assured with a nod.

He took a steadying breath and walked in to the club.

The loud music and smell of sweat and alcohol nearly overwhelmed him. He made his way to the dance floor and noticed a turian getting a little to feely with one of the dancers.

"Is there a problem here?" he asked while stepping between the two.

"Nothing that concerns you." The turian growled. He tried to reach around the human to grab the dancer, but found his wrist in a death grip.

"I think you should leave her alone." The human warned.

"Or what?" the turian grinned, while pulling his wrist free and shoving the human.

Shepard simply smirked and slammed his fist in to the turians face. The poor thing had no time to react before Shepard's knee was in his gut. Before he could catch his breath he was elbowed in the face and doubling over for air.

Shepard grabbed the turian by the scruff of the neck and dragged him to the dancer.

"What do we say to her?" the human asked patiently.

When there was no response, he began squeezing harder until the turian yelped.

"Ok, I'm sorry I got grabby with you." The turian apologized.

The asari dancer nodded in shock and Shepard let the man go, and he scrambled away.

"Thanks for that. I really appreciate that, where's security when you need them right?" the dancer sighed.

"No problem, enjoy your night." Shepard replied with a smile and a nod.

The dancer smiled and eyed him before walking away.

Shepard then made his way to the bar. He smooth talked the bartender in to giving him a drink on the house. He smiled in satisfaction and turned to scope out the bar.

"Watch where you're going human." A krogan growled as he purposely bumped in to Shepard.

"You have a problem?" the human questioned.

The krogan growled and glared at him.

Shepard looked at the krogan in complete boredom.

"We can take this outside if you'd like." Shepard offered, never breaking eye contact.

"You humans are so feisty, simmer down." The krogan replied with turning around.

Shepard rolled his eyes and continued on his way around the bar.

"Hey." An asari called.

"Hello" Shepard greeted while turning around.

"I've been watching you….you're very interesting, do you want to have a drink with me? I have a table over there." The asari offered while tilting her head in the direction of her table.

Shepard eyed the woman carefully, and knew who she was.

"Alright." He replied with a confident smile.

*It did not take long for him to intrigue the asari enough to want Shepard back at her apartment. She asari wrapped her arm around his and all but dragged him there.

They made their way in to the large apartment.

"Nice place you have here." He commented.

"Thanks." She replied while taking a seat on the couch.

Shepard smiled to himself at the eagerness of the asari, this was a little too easy if he had to be honest. He decided to play the part a little bit more to buy Samara some time. He slowly walked to the large window and took in the city view.

"Amazing view too." He replied nonchalantly.

"One of my favorite things about the place." The asari purred.

"Why don't you have a seat over here with me" she added while patting the seat cushion next to her.

The human slowly made his way over to the couch and took a seat next to the eager asari.

"Tell me…tell me you want me." She whispered while crawling in to his lap. She stroked the side of his face and looked in to his eyes.

"Why would I?" He asked, clearly not amused.

She grabbed his chin, and pulled his face up so they were making eye contact. Her eyes were slowly getting darker.

"You would do anything for me…." She murmured.

He felt an odd presence tugging at the edge of his subconscious and put up a mental block on it. The asari growing frustrated growled. He rolled the asari off of him, pushing her toward the entrance of the apartment. Just as he did so, Samara burst through the door.

"Morinth!" Samara shouted, biotics flaring.

"Hello mother!" she snarled.

"Don't call me that!" Samara spat.

"Just because you don't like what I've become, doesn't mean you get to stop being my mother!" she snarled in response.

"You stopped being my daughter when you stepped in to the darkness, and allowed yourself to be consumed! Samara shouted while sending a large biotic wave toward her daughter.

What her daughter lacked in experience in age, she made up for in power.

She quickly matched the biotic wave and the two were now at a standstill.

"Help me Shepard!" Samara shouted.

"No! I can help you! We are equally strong, but I am not bound by some stupid code!" Morinth pleaded.

Without thought Shepard sent a biotic shove toward Morinth, knocking her off balance and giving Samara enough time to finish the dark task.

The two stood in silence.

"Thank you Shepard….I cannot express my thanks." Spoke quietly.

"Don't, I'm sorry it had to end like this." He replied softly.

He put a hand on her shoulder and gave it an affectionate squeeze.

"Let me know if there is anything that I can do to help. All you have to do is say the word and I'm there." He said while tightening the squeeze, and then removing his hand.

The two made their way back to the ship in silence.


End file.
